Lots of food for thought here. I was really relieved to hear CanvasShoes say that she didn’t want to be judged by the number of partners she had. I’ve been a single adult for a decade and a half, and very nearly all my partners have been in the context of a relationship, but the numbers do start to add up. Doesn’t make me a big old whore, though, and I don’t like to share numbers or hear numbers. You then risk that Chasing Amy Phenomenon.
I agree that barrier methods should be used until a clean bill of health can be given. The question is, how does one actually get one? You can get tested for HIV, can be cleared for the clap, syphilis, gonorrhea, all those things, but warts? Herpes? There’s no test for that. You simply cannot know about those things unless you’ve had an outbreak, and those can be years in coming after first exposure.
I am starting to feel like you can never really be sure you’re clean, much less if someone else is clean, if either of you have ever had unprotected sex with a non-virgin. Getting involved with someone requires a leap of faith when there are incurable diseases of such an enigmatic nature. Condoms can’t even protect you 100% from herpes; a person can have sores in the pubic hair or on the inner thigh. Argh!
OTOH, I’m glad that most of you thought Pam and Gina’s friends were right to freak out. After all, in a world as uncertain as the one we’re in, you can at least strive for honesty.