# How much would it chuck? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 14, 2000, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-would-it-chuck/45548 "2000-12-14T16:17:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Pnuk\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Pnuk\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pnuk_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-would-it-chuck/45548/1 "2000-12-14T16:17:04Z")
How much wood WOULD a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Its been bugging me for a while. -Pnuk Guy ---
**Author:** ![Uniball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Uniball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uniball)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-would-it-chuck/45548/2 "2000-12-14T16:27:17Z")
35,7 pounds a day, tops. Half, if it’s a baby woodchuck. ---
**Author:** ![mblackwell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5fc32e/32.png) [@mblackwell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mblackwell)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-would-it-chuck/45548/3 "2000-12-14T16:46:28Z")
A woodchuck would chuck how much wood a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood. ---
**Author:** ![Pudgy\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Pudgy\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pudgy_Dog)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-would-it-chuck/45548/4 "2000-12-14T16:53:29Z")
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Chuck it would, as much as it could, if a wood chuck could chuck wood! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-would-it-chuck/45548/5 "2000-12-14T16:55:23Z")
How much ground round would a ground hog pound, if a ground hog could pound ground round? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-would-it-chuck/45548/6 "2000-12-14T17:02:20Z")
Chicks with bricks come Chicks with blocks come Chicks with bricks and blocks and clocks come or maybe When tweedle beetle fight it’s called a tweedle beetle battle When tweedle beetles battle with a paddle it’s called a tweedle beetle paddle battle When they fight these battle in a puddle in a bottle it’s called a tweedle beetle paddle muddle in a bottle puddle May not be exact quotes, but I’m 23 and I still love that book. ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-would-it-chuck/45548/7 "2000-12-14T17:10:11Z")
approximately 22lbs/sq in. of wood, I believe. jb ---
**Author:** ![yabob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yabob/32/2821_2.png) [@yabob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yabob)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-would-it-chuck/45548/8 "2000-12-14T18:13:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \* > \*\* > > How much ground round would a ground hog pound, if a ground hog could pound ground round? 🙂 \*\* How much marmite might a marmot munch if a marmot did munch marmite? I’ll have you know that was both spontaneous and original, at least as far as I know. With marmalade? OK, I’ll go now. ---
**Author:** ![Delta-9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Delta-9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delta-9)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-would-it-chuck/45548/9 "2000-12-14T18:53:08Z")
Would that be a father chucker or. . . A motherchucker? \ ::crickets:: Um, I’ll just be over here, working or something. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-would-it-chuck/45548/10 "2000-12-14T18:59:56Z")
Cecil answered this in _More of the Straight Dope_, with a follow-up in _Return of the Straight Dope_: [How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_083a.html). ---
**Author:** ![Tretiak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Tretiak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tretiak)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-would-it-chuck/45548/11 "2000-12-14T19:02:40Z")
How much wind could a windbreaker break if a windbreaker could break wind? ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Dirx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b77776/32.png) [@Sir\_Dirx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Dirx)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-would-it-chuck/45548/12 "2000-12-14T19:26:59Z")
How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored? (Thanks to Bill Waterson, of Calvin & Hobbes fame) ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-would-it-chuck/45548/13 "2000-12-14T19:46:10Z")
**Pnuk Guy** , you’re new here, so maybe you don’t know how the fora here are set up. General Questions is for questions which have a factual answer; MPSIMS (where I’m moving this thread) is for jokes, among other things. Head on over there, and have fun! ---
**Author:** ![HannibalV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@HannibalV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HannibalV)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-would-it-chuck/45548/14 "2000-12-14T20:57:59Z")
Nine cords. First person to tell me where I stole that joke from gets a cookie. ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-much-would-it-chuck/45548/15 "2000-12-14T23:05:16Z")
And after the woodchuck has finished chucking all that wood, the next question is: How much could a woodchuck chuck up if a woodchuck could upchuck? Oh, and thanks, Sir Dirx, I really liked the one with the Mongols…