# How NOT to break up with your Internet boyfriend **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 27, 2005, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707 "2005-09-27T17:26:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/21 "2005-09-27T18:54:18Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Sorry for the hijack, but… > This has always confused me. Six months or five hundred dollars? In what universe are those remotely equivalent? Are there truly any people who would rather spend six months in jail than pony up $500? yes there are. If you have no disposable income (or in some cases pretty much no income at all), the $500 could just as well be $20,000. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/22 "2005-09-27T19:01:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Police say Crews told the man she was abducted from the airport, then raped, stabbed and dumped in a ditch. I take it this is _not_ the 51st way to leave your lover. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/23 "2005-09-27T19:03:58Z")
You know what the worst part is? I waited four hours at the airport for that bitch! ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/24 "2005-09-27T19:15:27Z")
Hey, at least she really _was_ a woman… ---
**Author:** ![Try\_As\_I\_Might](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea666f/32.png) [@Try\_As\_I\_Might](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try_As_I_Might)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/25 "2005-09-27T19:23:10Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Sorry for the hijack, but… > This has always confused me. Six months or five hundred dollars? In what universe are those remotely equivalent? Are there truly any people who would rather spend six months in jail than pony up $500? it’s typically not the defendant’s choice as to which he or she gets. if there are no sentencing concessions, the judge has the choice to give up to six months jail, up to a five hundred dollar fine, or both. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/26 "2005-09-27T19:24:26Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > Unfortunately, she’ll be late for her first court appearance and confined for the duration of her trial when the judge doesn’t buy her “I was gang-raped by a squad of invading left-wing Columbian guerillas who burnt me at the stake and then disembowled me and hung me from a tree by my intestines while they listened to Frank Sinatra albums” excuse. Well duh. Only the **right** -wing guerillas like Sinatra. The lefties favor Tony Bennett. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/27 "2005-09-27T20:54:54Z")
Yes, but is she hot? ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/28 "2005-09-27T20:59:24Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > You know what the worst part is? I waited four hours at the airport for that bitch! That hurts. You could have used that time to hit on a stewardess or something. ---
**Author:** ![Cagey\_Drifter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@Cagey\_Drifter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cagey_Drifter)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/29 "2005-09-27T21:04:23Z")
i don’t understand this at all: > [@](#): > > For more than an hour this weekend, Kansas City Police searched for a Kentucky woman who told them she had been kidnapped and dumped in a ditch near the airport. So… she was supposedly talking to the police from the ditch from a cellphone? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/30 "2005-09-27T21:13:51Z")
I wonder if an opportunistic abducter/rapist/stabber/ditch-dumping type of guy will look at her as a prime “cry wolf” target now. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/31 "2005-09-27T21:31:23Z")
It sounds like she used [Dar Heatherington](http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/heatherington/) as a role model. Dar was also found guilty of public mischief after faking an abduction and claimed rape. I’m guessing this is some kind of mental condition that makes people act so inappropriately. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/32 "2005-09-27T21:31:44Z")
I bet the next time that cad offers his date a ride from the airport and insists on meeting her at the terminal! ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/33 "2005-09-27T21:38:41Z")
> [@Cagey Drifter](#): > > i don’t understand this at all: > > So… she was supposedly talking to the police from the ditch from a cellphone? This was a fun story when it hit the KC Star the next day. Yeah, she was using her cellphone. That’s how they found her too. Police got suspicious that something was going on when 1. she said she didn’t hear heliocopters roaring over the location she claimed to be at 2. Her cellphone still had power about two hours into the ordeal, even though various police officers had lost power to theirs. So they tracked her using her cellphone signature (why they didn’t do this immediately during a search and rescue I have no idea), and discovered she wasn’t even in KC. That’s when they called up the police dept in her county and had them go and get her. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/34 "2005-09-27T22:54:35Z")
What the hell was her plan? To talk until her batteries ran out? Tell the cops “It’s cool, I think I’m OK, I’ll just walk home now. Thanks for the effort, though”? Fake death throes over the phone and then hang up? or leave the phone on? Did she actually tell them her real name? The guy truly dodged a bullet. That woman is a fucking IDIOT. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/35 "2005-09-27T23:12:06Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > That hurts. You could have used that time to hit on a stewardess or something. That’s what economists call “the opportunity cost.” ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/36 "2005-09-27T23:41:03Z")
> [@Try As I Might...](#): > > it’s typically not the defendant’s choice as to which he or she gets. if there are no sentencing concessions, the judge has the choice to give up to six months jail, up to a five hundred dollar fine, or both. Also keep in mind. After 6 months in jail you not only have propbably lost your job, but also your home unless you have a _very_ understanding partner or good friends to foot the bill. Plus you have the added benefit of playing catch-up on a half-year’s worth of bills. The $500 can be very daunting. Though nowhere near enough in this case. The bitch will get community service and counseling. Mark my words. ---
**Author:** ![SleepyDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@SleepyDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SleepyDuck)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/37 "2005-09-27T23:45:31Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > The worst part of this story is that Neil Diamond’s ‘Kentucky Woman’ is going to be stuck in my head all day. Hmmm, you may owe the Commonwealth of Kentucky [performance royalties](http://www.snopes.com/lost/kfc.htm). ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/38 "2005-09-28T00:00:33Z")
Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear [Avil Lavane](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1245099/)! Happy birthday to you! Come an get me, royaltity people! ---
**Author:** ![brownie55](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f14d63/32.png) [@brownie55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brownie55)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/39 "2005-09-28T00:04:07Z")
I just wanted to say I was sorry Bricker lost his internet boyfriend. Then I read the OP. I guess he can’t even get an internet boyfriend and has to talk about sombody else’s. Chin up Bricker, he’s out there waiting for you. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/40 "2005-09-28T00:20:48Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > It sounds like she used [Dar Heatherington](http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/heatherington/) as a role model. Dar was also found guilty of public mischief after faking an abduction and claimed rape. I’m guessing this is some kind of mental condition that makes people act so inappropriately. :rolleyes: If you want to define being an idiot as a mental condition… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707.md?page=3)