# How NOT to break up with your Internet boyfriend **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 27, 2005, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707 "2005-09-27T17:26:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/41 "2005-09-28T00:43:03Z")
See, this is why every girl I meet on the Internet, I do an instant background check online to verify who she is. Oh yeah, the Internet is a powerful, powerful friend. Tripler I do a lot of background checks . . . and surf a lot of porn. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/42 "2005-09-28T00:46:14Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > It sounds like she used [Dar Heatherington](http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/heatherington/) as a role model. Dar was also found guilty of public mischief after faking an abduction and claimed rape. I’m guessing this is some kind of mental condition that makes people act so inappropriately. **Holy shit on a stick!!** She pulled that crap in the town I’m living in now! Tripler Wow. I feel so close to celebrity now. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/43 "2005-09-28T00:52:20Z")
**Wolfian** : HUH? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/44 "2005-09-28T00:53:28Z")
> [@brownie55](#): > > I just wanted to say I was sorry Bricker lost his internet boyfriend. > > Then I read the OP. > > I guess he can’t even get an internet boyfriend and has to talk about sombody else’s. Chin up Bricker, he’s out there waiting for you. I can only wait, hope, and dream. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/45 "2005-09-28T02:43:53Z")
> [@LaurAnge](#): > > **Wolfian** : HUH? Not the first time I’ve heard that and probably not the last. **SleepyDuck** posted something about fake royaltities. I posted a song that has real, but basically unenforcable royalities. Today is Avril Lavigne’s (hoo, butchered her name) birthday. ---
**Author:** ![SleepyDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@SleepyDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SleepyDuck)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/46 "2005-09-28T03:08:39Z")
> [@Wolfian](#): > > **SleepyDuck** posted something about fake royaltities. Her Highness insisted that they were real…and spectacular. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/47 "2005-09-28T03:11:55Z")
> [@Wolfian](#): > > **SleepyDuck** posted something about fake royaltities. I posted a song that has real, but basically unenforcable royalities. Unenforceable for you and me, but you never see much of that song in movies. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/48 "2005-09-28T03:45:18Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > . . . Her cellphone still had power about two hours into the ordeal, even though various police officers had lost power to theirs. Two hours? She played out this little charade for _two frigging hours_? And it never occurred to her to cut her losses, power off her phone, and hope that she didn’t get caught? What a total nimrod! ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/49 "2005-09-28T04:57:03Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > For a minute there I thought Jennifer Wilbanks had taken up Internet dating. Heh. ---
**Author:** ![SleepyDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@SleepyDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SleepyDuck)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/50 "2005-09-28T05:38:14Z")
The Google content ads have kicked in. For those who haven’t blocked them, check out the bottom of the thread. ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/51 "2005-09-28T06:05:39Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > Oh, come now. In today’s modern world, hasn’t “I’ve been raped, stabbed, and dumped in a ditch” become the equivalent of “I’m busy washing my hair?” > > You’re living in the past, man. This one put me on the floor. Thanks Raven. ---
**Author:** ![grey\_ideas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dfb087/32.png) [@grey\_ideas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grey_ideas)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/52 "2005-09-28T08:02:12Z")
> [@SleepyDuck](#): > > The Google content ads have kicked in. > > For those who haven’t blocked them, check out the bottom of the thread. You’re not kidding, apparently Google ads have a thing for **Triplers** posts; > [@Tripler](#): > > See, this is why every girl I meet on the Internet, I do an instant background check online to verify who she is. > > Oh yeah, the Internet is a powerful, powerful friend. > > Tripler > I do a lot of background checks . . . and surf a lot of porn. So at the bottom of page one we have; _Porn Blocking Software Find Illegal Images on the Network Download a Free Demo Now [www.PixAlert.com](http://www.PixAlert.com)_ And at the bottom of page two we have; \*Background Checks Need a Background Check? Get instant access online. [www.SafeSpy.net](http://www.SafeSpy.net) CRB Checks & Disclosures CRB Checks and disclosures in UK Fast, easy & reliable > **[DBS Disclosures | DBS checks in Newcastle-under-Lyme](https://www.crbdisclosures.co.uk/)** > > Are you looking for Disclosure and Barring Service? DBS Disclosures in Newcastle-under-Lyme can help you! Call 01782 620 000 C2i Investigation Conducting detailed investigations for you and your business needs [www.c2i-international.com](http://www.c2i-international.com)\* You do know they’re watching you don’t you **Tripler**? 😃 grey\_ideas ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/53 "2005-09-28T13:56:27Z")
I still don’t get it. . . So this is what I’ve got so far: 1. She doesn’t show up to meet the guy 2. Guy calls girl 3. Girl starts the lie… … ?)Girl is on the phone with 911 Operator while police search for her. ?)Girl gets arrested Something important is missing in the middle. When and why did she end up talking to police??? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/54 "2005-09-28T14:00:04Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > The worst part of this story is that Neil Diamond’s ‘Kentucky Woman’ is going to be stuck in my head all day. Kentucky woman, she shines with her own kinda light… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/55 "2005-09-28T14:17:59Z")
I guess the thing that cracks me up about the OP story is the dismbowelling part. Abduction and murder aren’t enough, she’s gotta say she was disembowelled, too. “I’m lying in a ditch, and I’ve got some MAJOR stomach cramps because I’ve been disembowelled.” I’m surprised she didn’t claim to have been beheaded while she was at it. Obviously, she wants to get medieval on herself. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/56 "2005-09-28T14:45:30Z")
> [@SleepyDuck](#): > > For those who haven’t blocked them How do you block the damn things? ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/57 "2005-09-28T14:48:00Z")
> [@Bear\_Nenno](#): > > Something important is missing in the middle. When and why did she end up talking to police??? You gotta think that the guy called the police and gave them her cell number. I mean, I guess that’s the thing to do if you’re date tells you she was disembowelled and dumped in a ditch. As opposed to just sighing that it wasn’t meant to be and getting on with your life. ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/58 "2005-09-28T14:57:54Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > I guess the thing that cracks me up about the OP story is the dismbowelling part. Abduction and murder aren’t enough, she’s gotta say she was disembowelled, too. Actually, the disembowlment bit was made up entirely by me. I don’t think she claimed to have been disembowelled. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/59 "2005-09-28T16:10:28Z")
> [@furt](#): > > Yes, but is she hot? This thread is on the second page and yet this, the most important question and the one that will rightfully affect our opinion of the woman and the case, has not been answered. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707/60 "2005-09-28T16:25:13Z")
> [@Silentgoldfish](#): > > :rolleyes: > > If you want to define being an idiot as a mental condition… I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt - normal people don’t do messed up stuff like this, so I’m thinking that they have something going on upstairs that makes this seem like a good idea to them. Not excusing it, just trying to find an explanation for it. Oh, I forgot about another bit in Dar’s case - she said she was being stalked, but it turns out she was writing the letters to herself. Again, not exactly normal. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-break-up-with-your-internet-boyfriend/323707.md?page=4)