# How NOT to make a web page

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [October 9, 1999, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088 "1999-10-09T04:30:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/1 "1999-10-09T04:30:00Z")

</div>

What are some things that irritate you about specific web pages? For instance, my pet peeves:

[ul][li]60+ MB unthumbnailed pictures on the first page[/li][li]Misspelled words[/li][li]Fonts that are too unreadably fancy[/li][li]People who are so afraid you’ll leave their page that all links open second browsers \<…TARGET="\_blank"\>[/li][li]Frames! Especially the kind that stay up after you leave the site[/li][li]Sites that obviously steal pictures. For instance, I found 40 of my scans on someone else’s page.[/li][li]Pages that you have to wait ten minutes before music or sound effects load up. I’d rather have an option of choosing if I want to hear it.[/ul][/li]  
I made myself stop at seven.

* * *

“It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in an argument” - William McAdoo

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Louie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c68b51/32.png) [@Louie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Louie)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/2 "1999-10-09T04:37:00Z")

</div>

\<marquee\>I really hate web pages that have long messages on a scrolling marquee and you have to wait forever and ever for the damn thing to go on and on and on until it finally ends, and repeats, and repeats…\</marquee\>

\<font color=“yellow”\>I also hate it when they have the colors all messed up\</font\>

\<font size=1\>and when the type is too small\</font\>  
\<font size=7\>or too big\</font\>  
to read on the screen.

See what I mean?

* * *

An evil person is someone that knows how to escape a deserved punishment. A good person is someone that accepts other’s punishments.  
[Fun with HTML (tutoral)](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/000194.html)  
[Give someone an F.U.](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000255.html)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/3 "1999-10-09T04:44:00Z")

</div>

Ugly colors…  
Backgrounds you can’t read against…  
Oversized graphics…  
Broken graphics…  
Bad grammar…  
Bad/confusing/missing navigation…  
Reliance on Java/Shockwave/obscure plugin for navigation…  
Embedded sounds with no “off” switch…  
Other annoying stuff…

* * *

**\>^,^\<**  
“Cluemobile? You’ve got a pickup…”  
OpalCat’s site: [http://opalcat.com](http://opalcat.com)  
The Teeming Millions Homepage: [fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/4 "1999-10-09T04:46:00Z")

</div>

Things scrolling in the status bar. I HATE THAT!

* * *

**\>^,^\<**  
“Cluemobile? You’ve got a pickup…”  
OpalCat’s site: [http://opalcat.com](http://opalcat.com)  
The Teeming Millions Homepage: [fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sylence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b19c9b/32.png) [@Sylence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylence)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/5 "1999-10-09T06:05:00Z")

</div>

Animated gifs.

Bizarre resolutions (700x500, 900x650, etc.)

Messy frames.

Those @##@%$ windows that pop up everytime you visit Geocities or Tripod.

Pages that won’t display because you shut off java to stop those @#@#%# windows that pop up everytime you visit Geocities or Tripod.  
– Sylence

* * *

“The problem with reality is the lack of background music.” – Anon

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/6 "1999-10-09T06:13:00Z")

</div>

Java used anywhere it’s not completely necessary. I’d much rather live without the cute scrolling window telling me what time it is and the weather in Paris than have my browser crash.

MIDI files. I’m not really interested in another tinkling version of “Tears in Heaven”.

* * *

“I guess it is possible for one person to make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/7 "1999-10-09T06:57:00Z")

</div>

The top two for me have to be patterned backgrounds behind text, and MIDI files.

Then there are the people that do stupid things like put light yellow text against a white background.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Inky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d78d45/32.png) [@Inky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/8 "1999-10-09T07:54:00Z")

</div>

Blinky text sucks as well.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/9 "1999-10-09T08:54:00Z")

</div>

Well some of the pages I have done include frames but its a simple top bottom split.

Anyway I cant stand:

- Text with the same color value as red on black or dark blue backgrounds. Sorry, I actually would like to keep my eyesight.

- AlTeRnAtInG caps and lowercase writing. How the hell do these teenyboppers write a paragraph in under an hour that way?!

- Pages that have nothing but a short bio of the person and thre or four links and nothing else. For chrissakes please, if you are going to have a page at least make it worth my visit!

- Webmasters who put every single word in the English language to make the webcrawlers index their page under every single topic. Porn sites are often guilty of this

- Overly bold backgrounds that have a confusing pattern that makes it hard to read the text.

- JAVA!!! Ugh i want to tear my hair out on most of the pages with java! It takes me a long time to load the page, especially when it’s those big ass ‘reflections on water’ type java goodies, time and weather indicators, etc.

- Webmasters that insist your monitor settings be set to 1064X768 because their monitor was set to that size and they were too damn lazy to realize many people dont have their monitor set up that big when they created their page.

- Sites with pop-ups. Especially the most evil of all pop-ups the dreaded exit pop-up. Some pages have it so that every time you try to close a pop-up it pops up another pop-up or two.

- Websites with huge Images. One might be OK but 10 is most definately NOT OK!

* * *

Time was I stood where thou dost now  
And view’d the dead as thou dost me  
Ere long you’ll lie as low as I  
And others stand and gaze at thee

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/10 "1999-10-09T12:05:00Z")

</div>

I agree with almost everything already mentioned, except:

Frames have their place and can be used effectively.

Not all animated gifs are blinky flashy porn banners, so I think a subtle animation can be very effective.  
I hate:

Active Server Pages on sites that don’t need them. They crash my browser!!

Java mouseovers (as opposed to java **script** mouseovers) becuase they take bloody ages to load and don’t do anything special except some dumb clicky noise or something.

Links that aren’t descriptive enough to find where you want to go.

Porn sites that give you the runaround and still don’t show anything.

Shitty formatting, overlapping images, badly sized images, unnecessary horizontal scrolling, waiting for images to load before the text does (that’s the latest versions of th browsers that do that) and TONS more.

* * *

“Waheeey! ‘Duck!’ Get it?”  
“Errr… No…”  
“Duck! Sounds almost exactly like fu-”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/11 "1999-10-09T13:12:00Z")

</div>

Let’s not forget long lists of links that have died ages ago.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/12 "1999-10-09T15:08:00Z")

</div>

_Flashing_ Text sucks.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![KJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b2d939/32.png) [@KJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KJ)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/13 "1999-10-09T20:10:00Z")

</div>

\<blink\>Blinking text is by far the most annoying feature of webpages. Whoever decided to include that in the HTML language is an idiot.\</blink\>

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/14 "1999-10-09T20:23:00Z")

</div>

Here is my nominee for lamest web page of the year, it incorporates nearly all of the aforementioned features:

[Lame site of the year](http://www.graceland.edu/~elroyomj/)

Warning: May cause you to beat year fist against your monitor.

* * *

TT

“Believe those who seek the truth.  
Doubt those who find it.” --Andre Gide

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/15 "1999-10-09T20:29:00Z")

</div>

Thufferin, you’ll pay for that! ☹

I will admit, though, that the site has it all: an idiot, and ugly girl, bad scans, annoying graphics and effects, and a look deep into the life of a total schmoe.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/16 "1999-10-09T20:35:00Z")

</div>

I do, however, like the “against vegetarianism” graphic…

Has anyone mentioned animated GIFs yet? God, I hate those. I especially hate the pages that are nothing but rows and rows of animated crap…smiley faces, Pokemons, dancing cows, whatever. People send these links to me through e-mail all the time, and I always click on them because I think they might be something cool.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [October 9, 1999, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/17 "1999-10-09T20:44:00Z")

</div>

Okay, I am feeling completely insecure about my web site now.

I have animated GIFs, some web sites that are now outdated (it is on my things to do to correct), a background I can’t freakin’ see because it won’t load on this computer (it will load on my laptop, but not my PC–despite clean installations and upgrades). I _hope_ the background isn’t annoying, or the fonts.

I suck.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 1999, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/18 "1999-10-10T01:27:00Z")

</div>

Clutter! Some sites have buttons and links and GIFs and frames and a dozen assorted fonts and … Keep it simple!

Redirects that won’t let you back out.

## And one big thing that applies everywhere: spelling! Thanks for mentioning it, HubZilla!

Bob the Random Expert  
“If we don’t have the answer, we’ll make one up.”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 1999, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/19 "1999-10-10T01:34:00Z")

</div>

Argh! That site link sucks soooo badly!

What is it with people, do they really think all that unreadable boring gaudy flashiness is some kind of artistic beauty?

I don’t understand how their heads work.

* * *

“Waheeey! ‘Duck!’ Get it?”  
“Errr… No…”  
“Duck! Sounds almost exactly like fu-”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\
**Post date:** [October 10, 1999, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088/20 "1999-10-10T01:53:00Z")

</div>

Guano, do I really have to point out the obvious erroneous assumption in your last statement?

* * *

**\>^,^\<**  
“Cluemobile? You’ve got a pickup…”  
OpalCat’s site: [http://opalcat.com](http://opalcat.com)  
The Teeming Millions Homepage: [fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions)

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-not-to-make-a-web-page/9088.md?page=2)