# How often do you give/get oral sex (honestly) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 12, 2002, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579 "2002-06-12T03:08:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/41 "2002-06-12T14:17:24Z")
Give: about 4/week Get: about 0.7/month (she always tries to finish with her hand). grumble. Damn good thing I like giving. ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/42 "2002-06-12T15:13:12Z")
Give and get equally. Did I mention I’m a contortionist? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chekmate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/46a35a/32.png) [@Chekmate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chekmate)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/43 "2002-06-12T15:20:42Z")
> [@](#): > > Give and get equally. Did I mention I’m a contortionist? **INCEST INCEST!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Infectious\_Lass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e56c9b/32.png) [@Infectious\_Lass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infectious_Lass)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/44 "2002-06-12T19:35:37Z")
Give-I used to but now I won’t anymore because BF won’t return the compliment _sigh_ Accursed among women am I, all the men in the world and I get a man who has a cunnlingus phobia ☹ If I try to talk about it he gets all defensive and “you know I have a problem do you think I am doing it out of spite blah blah”. He is the only bf I ever had so I never get to experience cunnilingus-so I guess I never will-I get kind of angry and just wish he would get over it already, sigh-trouble is all the advice people can offer is “leave him and get someone who will” which is no good because a. the relationship is great apart from this and I think I really do love the guy! I don’t want to leave him! and b. It took my whole life just to get him and that was just pure dumb luck and I doubt I’ll ever be able to find anyone else with my extreme shyness and lack of ability to function in human society blah blah So basically I am stuck with no oral sex. Forever. I know he has a problem with it and all but it does make me resentful and angry…I waited so long and I always prayed that I would find a guy who liked it…wow I must have got some really bad karma in a previous life that’s all I can say…he doesn’t realise how sad it makes me, he just whines about how bad it makes him feel when I bring it up…_sigh_ Sorry to go on about this, but I have no one to talk to about this…makes me feel better you know. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/45 "2002-06-12T19:47:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Infectious Lass \* > \*\*Give-I used to but now I won’t anymore because BF won’t return the compliment _sigh_ > > Accursed among women am I, all the men in the world and I get a man who has a cunnlingus phobia ☹ If I try to talk about it he gets all defensive and “you know I have a problem do you think I am doing it out of spite blah blah”. He is the only bf I ever had so I never get to experience cunnilingus-so I guess I never will-I get kind of angry and just wish he would get over it already, sigh-trouble is all the advice people can offer is “leave him and get someone who will” which is no good because a. the relationship is great apart from this and I think I really do love the guy! I don’t want to leave him! and b. It took my whole life just to get him and that was just pure dumb luck and I doubt I’ll ever be able to find anyone else with my extreme shyness and lack of ability to function in human society blah blah > > So basically I am stuck with no oral sex. Forever. I know he has a problem with it and all but it does make me resentful and angry…I waited so long and I always prayed that I would find a guy who liked it…wow I must have got some really bad karma in a previous life that’s all I can say…he doesn’t realise how sad it makes me, he just whines about how bad it makes him feel when I bring it up…_sigh_ > > Sorry to go on about this, but I have no one to talk to about this…makes me feel better you know. \*\* Get him trashed. ---
**Author:** ![tygre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@tygre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tygre)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/46 "2002-06-12T19:54:31Z")
You’re not alone, **Infectious Lass** , I’m married to one of those guys. He has a low sex drive anyways and absolutely no interest in trying to improve it. Our marriage has suffered a lot as a result and if it weren’t for the kids… ☹ I OTOH enjoy both giving and receiving (though my experience is very limited on the receiving end, obviously) and have no hangups about it. He does like receiving, though when I went on “strike” to receive if I gave, it wound up being an incredibly long drought of no sex at all, so I gave up. ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/47 "2002-06-12T20:01:24Z")
I.F.: Have you suggested he get therapy? Maybe that would help. Or not. Get: 3 times/month. I don’t really care if I get oral or not on any given occasion, though I wouldn’t want to do without it entirely. Give: 7 times/month. Every time, unless she’s feeling uncomfortable and doesn’t want me down there. Giving is good. 🙂 In my experience, 8% of women definitely can’t orgasm from oral sex (at least as performed by me) and 8% are experimentally undetermined. I have yet to meet a woman who can orgasm from penile intercourse but not from oral sex, although I am sure there are plenty of them out there. ---
**Author:** ![CJank\_Extreme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f6c823/32.png) [@CJank\_Extreme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CJank_Extreme)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/48 "2002-06-12T20:12:02Z")
Give about eh 5-6 a month but she prefers me to “ring her bell” so to speak Receive in the area of 15 times a month It’s great being young and in love… [sub]and extremely horny doesn’t hurt either…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Chekmate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/46a35a/32.png) [@Chekmate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chekmate)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/49 "2002-06-12T20:19:25Z")
> [@](#): > > I have yet to meet a woman who can orgasm from penile intercourse but not from oral sex My girlfriend is exactly what you just described. That’s why I can get away with giving so little, but getting so much. I don’t think it’s fair though, because she gets her cookies _at least_ 3 or 4 times per session, and I only get mine once… It’s just not fair! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/50 "2002-06-12T20:22:46Z")
Let see give 2 times a week, sometimes more. Get 1-2 times per month. You could say I’m [bitter](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=118650). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![HoldenCaulfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/22d042/32.png) [@HoldenCaulfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoldenCaulfield)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/51 "2002-06-12T20:26:39Z")
I get it rarely, probably once a month or so. I give it whenever she wants it, which is once or twice a week. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/52 "2002-06-12T22:07:50Z")
Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that of the posters who say the proportion of giving to receiving is uneven in their relationships, almost all say they’re on the losing end? Does this say something about people’s perceptions of their sex lives, or does it say something about Dopers? ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/53 "2002-06-12T22:13:19Z")
It may also say something about sexes. Without being scientific, it seems the guys get more than they give. This may also be a reflection of biology - frankly my wife becomes flavored (?) differently depending on time of the month. It’s not always pleasant to be on the giving end at that time… ---
**Author:** ![Nevermind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/53a042/32.png) [@Nevermind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nevermind)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/54 "2002-06-12T22:25:15Z")
The only reason I am answering this is because I have a good buzz going. I’m one of the lucky few that receives more that gives. That doesn’t sound very nice. But when I give–its gOOOOOOdd!! I love doing it, especially if I’m a little drunk. My hubby’s coming home by 8. Think of me 😉 ---
**Author:** ![My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/My_Darn_Snake_Legs)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/55 "2002-06-12T23:17:05Z")
Well, I guess I give and get just about every time. That works out to about 6ish a week. When we’re together at least, and since she’s gone for the summer it’s been a month \ ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/56 "2002-06-12T23:29:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sengkelat \* > I have yet to meet a woman who can orgasm from penile intercourse but not from oral sex, although I am sure there are plenty of them out there. I know someone like that. Anyone who has to ask ME about getting play either doesn’t know me or is joking something fierce;) [sub]Like a virgin … touched for the very first time.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/57 "2002-06-13T00:30:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sengkelat \* > \*\*I have yet to meet a woman who can orgasm from penile intercourse but not from oral sex, although I am sure there are plenty of them out there. \*\* I’m not completely unable to orgasm from oral sex, but it’s extremely difficult. In my whole sexual experience, I’ve only gotten off from oral a handful of times. Intercourse, on the other hand, BOOM! Works like a charm. ---
**Author:** ![cercaria](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/87869e/32.png) [@cercaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cercaria)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/58 "2002-06-13T00:47:36Z")
I hardly ever give, as I have a really sensitive gag reflex :(, but I hardly ever receive, either, since usually it’s easier for me to get off… err… manually. I don’t get togeather with my SO often enough to give meaningful percentages… we see each other maybe once a week during the summer. ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/59 "2002-06-13T03:38:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > \*\*Well I give as well and as often I get and both activities average about 2.5 times a week. > > And yes the hubby is very very good if I do say so myself. \*\* Uh… if it’s a “.5” wouldn’t that mean that by the end only one of you… or would you double the number because only one of… or… ok. I’m outta here. ---
**Author:** ![Pablito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579/60 "2002-06-13T03:56:56Z")
Before my wife and I SEPARATED ☹ a few months ago, our numbers were like this: give: every time we have sex, or about 4 times a week get: a few times over the past 10 years. I’m just not that into receiving–it takes a lot to get off that way for me. But I love love LOVE to perform oral. Cunnilingus is my all-time favorite sex act in fact. And despite what I’m reading from others, I have never ever been with a woman who didn’t orgasm from receiving oral. Even the girlfriends who thought it was “gross” for me to do that soon learned to appreciate the beauty and to really enjoy my ministrations on their hoo-has. My sample isn’t enormous, and I don’t keep notches on the bedpost or anything like that, but that has been my experience. I really miss it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-give-get-oral-sex-honestly/113579.md?page=4)