# How often do you masturbate? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 28, 2006, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533 "2006-06-28T19:11:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/1 "2006-06-28T19:11:20Z")
I could have sworn we’d done this one before, but my search-fu is weak. The latest lesbian porn thread got a little sidetracked by my post regarding the frequency of masturbation. So, how 'bout it? How often do you flog your log? Choke your chicken? Kill a kitten? Also, please include age, gender, relationship status, and heck, throw in orientation if you like. We might as well get all the data collected at once. Me: 3-4 times a week, female, married, mostly straight. ---
**Author:** ![Stainz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stainz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stainz)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/2 "2006-06-28T19:16:51Z")
Probably an average of 4-5 times per week. I often use it as a “sleep aid”, plus I’m just usually damn horny. 🙂 Female. 36. Married. Straight. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/3 "2006-06-28T19:19:53Z")
Two or three times a month Female Married Straight FWIW, I have a newborn, so my sex drive is still recovering from pregnancy hormones. Plus, as I was taking the batteries out of my Rabbit, it broke. ☹ Like, the plastic connecting the “apparatus” to the base cracked. ---
**Author:** ![montana\_cricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@montana\_cricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/montana_cricket)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/4 "2006-06-28T19:57:10Z")
:eek: It BROKE? :eek: 😃 38 Female Straight Married 2-3 x per week. :o I can’t believe I’m posting here… :o ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/5 "2006-06-28T20:12:50Z")
30 male partnered 5 years gay 3-4 days per week, often 2-3 times in a given day. ---
**Author:** ![Clockwork\_And\_Candy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b782af/32.png) [@Clockwork\_And\_Candy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clockwork_And_Candy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/6 "2006-06-28T20:13:01Z")
Once, maybe twice a week. 17 Single Male Queer I really only do it if I have insomnia and there’s nothing on telly or I don’t have a book to read. Guess I’m just weird like that, but it helps me sleep. ::shrug:: ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/7 "2006-06-28T20:35:48Z")
Male, mid-thirties, divorced, straight. Mayor of Chicago. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/8 "2006-06-28T20:38:43Z")
Female, 20, depressingly single, 95% straight. It very much depends on my mood, my amount of free time and my cycle, but on average I’d say 3-4 times per week, sometimes a lot more than that. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/9 "2006-06-28T20:44:23Z")
4-6 times a week. Hey, self-abuse is the sincerest kind. Male. 38. Married. Straight. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/10 "2006-06-28T20:56:46Z")
Flog you log? choke one’s chicken? I have neither. Your gender bias is apparent. And I’m deeply offended. Well ok not really. But you could have made reference to the little man in the boat along with the log… And to answer the question, varies wildly. Sometimes every chance I get. Sometime I can’t bear to. And for pretty much the same reason, because I can’t be with the guy I wan’t to pay attention to my little man in the boat. 37 Female ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/11 "2006-06-28T21:00:58Z")
51 Married Straight Male It’s hard to type this with only one hand. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/12 "2006-06-28T21:01:53Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > Flog you log? choke one’s chicken? I have neither. Your gender bias is apparent. And I’m deeply offended. Hey, I included killing kittens! Isn’t that female centric? Fact is, we need more euphemisms for female masturbation. But someone else will have to start that thread. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/13 "2006-06-28T21:06:12Z")
Some female-centric terms include: jilling-off impeaching Bush petting the kitty bailing out the gravy boat ticklin’ the taco etc. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/14 "2006-06-28T21:21:13Z")
39, single, straight, male. Daily, if I can arrange it (mom & dad are around a lot while their place is being reno’d, and bitchy about respecting boundaries). ---
**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/15 "2006-06-28T21:26:23Z")
30, male, single, straight – once a day normally. Sometimes more, rarely less. Hey, I was always told to use it or lose it, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to lose it. And, just because it seems wildly inappropriate: > [@Draelin](#): > > Female, 20, depressingly single, 95% straight. > > It very much depends on my mood, my amount of free time and my cycle, but on average I’d say 3-4 times per week, sometimes a lot more than that. How _you_ doin’? ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/16 "2006-06-28T21:35:45Z")
I like “dialing O on the pink telephone”, myself. 33, single, straight, female. Sometimes I go for weeks without doing it, then I do it four or more times in a day; it just comes in spurts. But not in _that_ way. ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/17 "2006-06-28T21:41:18Z")
About two times a day 17 Male Single Straight ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/18 "2006-06-28T22:10:49Z")
Male, 100% straight\*, single in every sense of the word. Used to be 2-3 times a day, but now that I take a three-hours-per-day math summer class I don’t have the energy anymore. Once a day if I’m lucky, generally a little less (4-5 times a week would be a fair estimate at this point). During the times in my life when I had a great sex life I generally masturbated a lot less. I can’t believe this thread isn’t up to three pages yet. - Well, OK, I can acknowledge male beauty, but have no desire to see one naked and/or having sex, especially not with me! ---
**Author:** ![Dusty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@Dusty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dusty)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/19 "2006-06-28T22:15:12Z")
It varied, sometimes just once a week, other times every day, but until recently, five was the norm. That isn’t feasible now and I’m down to twice for a maximum. 23, male, single, gay ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/20 "2006-06-28T22:18:17Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Hey, I included killing kittens! Isn’t that female centric? Fact is, we need more euphemisms for female masturbation. But someone else will have to start that thread. I thought killing kittens when both ways. What, you don’t think you kill kittens??? I kind of like silenus’s “Impeaching Bush”. I for one, am willing to do my part. (And it’s kind of sad that the Democrates have ony found one candidate in the past few decades who could actuaully lick Bush.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533.md?page=2)