# How often do you masturbate? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 28, 2006, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533 "2006-06-28T19:11:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/61 "2006-06-29T21:32:20Z")
37 Female Not sure, moot point right now celibate Never, it’s against my religion. Back in the day, I “defied God” quite frequently. I just assumed guys worked it out every time they showered. It’s already all soaped up, why not let er fly? I’m still unconvinced that this isn’t true. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/62 "2006-06-29T21:47:13Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] 1. You mean hare-brained, as in “like a rabbit (hare) thought of it”. 2. _Lower_ aggressiveness with the ladies? Is this a bad thing? You want to be _more_ aggressive with women? How many times have you been to jail? [/QUOTE] Maybe I’m using a poor choice of words. What I mean is instead of being timid and shy around women I’d like to be more out going and more willing to approach women in general., I guess _assertive_ would be a more appropiate word. As far as the jail thing? Only once, but that bitch had it comming. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/63 "2006-06-29T21:54:21Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] 1. You mean hare-brained, as in “like a rabbit (hare) thought of it.” [/QUOTE] No, he meant hair-brained, as in "like _hair_ will grow from my palms if I keep jacking it. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/64 "2006-06-29T21:57:28Z")
I borrowed this from [www.topfive.com](http://www.topfive.com): **Top 15 _Star Wars_ Euphemisms For Masturbation** 1. Shooting Womprats in Beggar’s Canyon 2. Grooming the Wookie 3. Making the Kessel Run 4. Polishing Vader’s Helmet 5. Evacuating Tatooine 6. Unsheathing the Meatsaber 7. Releasing the Special Edition 8. Jumping to Delight Speed 9. Communicating with Red Leader One 10. Lightsaber Practice with Captain Solo 11. Tinkering With the R2 Unit 12. Manually Targeting the Rebel Base 13. Performing the Jedi Hand Trick 14. Scratching Yoda Behind the Ears and the Number 1 “Star Wars” Euphemism for Masturbation… 1. Test Firing the Death Star ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/65 "2006-06-29T21:57:53Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] I just assumed guys worked it out every time they showered. It’s already all soaped up, why not let er fly? I’m still unconvinced that this isn’t true. [/QUOTE] Ick! No, no, no! Soap does a NASTY number on the male private parts if rubbed in vigorously. Dries them up and then you get cracks and bleeding. Everything in the bathroom except for hand lotion (and lube if it’s that kind of bathroom)–soap, shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, etc.–is awful for penises. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/66 "2006-06-29T22:18:07Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] Ick! No, no, no! Soap does a NASTY number on the male private parts if rubbed in vigorously. Dries them up and then you get cracks and bleeding. Everything in the bathroom except for hand lotion (and lube if it’s that kind of bathroom)–soap, shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, etc.–is awful for penises. [/QUOTE] My son seems to like shaving cream. (EEEEEWWWW! I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT!!!) At least, I stopped shaving my legs about a year ago, but I’m still replacing the shaving cream. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/67 "2006-06-29T22:18:42Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] Ick! No, no, no! Soap does a NASTY number on the male private parts if rubbed in vigorously. Dries them up and then you get cracks and bleeding. Everything in the bathroom except for hand lotion (and lube if it’s that kind of bathroom)–soap, shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, etc.–is awful for penises. [/QUOTE] But…but you \*do \* wash them, right??? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/68 "2006-06-29T22:27:17Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > But…but you do wash them, right??? Of course. But you don’t rub off with the soap on them, because then you rub the soap into the thing and dry it out. Bad news, trust me. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/69 "2006-06-29T22:31:43Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > At least, I stopped shaving my legs about a year ago, but I’m still replacing the shaving cream. If your son is old enough to masturbate, I can think of some other reasons he’d use shaving cream, too. If he doesn’t shave his face, he might be shaving something else. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/70 "2006-06-29T22:43:39Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] If your son is old enough to masturbate, I can think of some other reasons he’d use shaving cream, too. If he doesn’t shave his face, he might be shaving something else. [/QUOTE] No, he doesn’t shave yet, although he’s starting to get a little peach fuzz. He’s 13. He’s been masturbating for years, I expect. Fetuses masturbate, **fetus**! (At least, they get erections and touch themselves in utero.) Embarrassing story alert: When he was about 3 he announced in a loud, piping shrill 3 year old voice in the middle of the grocery store, “Mommy, sometimes my penis gets really big when I touch it!” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![KJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b2d939/32.png) [@KJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KJ)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/71 "2006-06-29T22:49:35Z")
Male, 20, single. I go probably 4-7 times a week. Every once in a while I’ll do it twice a day. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/72 "2006-06-29T22:54:59Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Embarrassing story alert: When he was about 3 he announced in a loud, piping shrill 3 year old voice in the middle of the grocery store, “Mommy, sometimes my penis gets really big when I touch it!” :eek: That’s new to me. I had no desire to try it out until 10 or so, and didn’t figure out how it actually worked until 11. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/73 "2006-06-29T23:01:43Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] I just assumed guys worked it out every time they showered. It’s already all soaped up, why not let er fly? I’m still unconvinced that this isn’t true. [/QUOTE] Newp. Not nearly luby enough, and besides that, I’m standing up. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/74 "2006-06-29T23:31:49Z")
It depends on how much sex I’m having. If we’ve been doing it every day I don’t feel like doing it as much. If it’s been a few days and I’m home alone and bored, I will take matters into my own hands. Soooo, that would be maybe 10x a month. ---
**Author:** ![sabatobello](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@sabatobello](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sabatobello)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/75 "2006-06-30T03:46:46Z")
Female, 23, currently unattatched. I’d estimate between 15 and 20 times a week, which doesn’t seem to change much when I’m in a relatonship. ---
**Author:** ![JpnDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@JpnDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JpnDude)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/76 "2006-06-30T04:07:24Z")
Male. 33. Committed relationship. Straight. At least once daily. ---
**Author:** ![JpnDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@JpnDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JpnDude)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/77 "2006-06-30T04:06:48Z")
Male. 33. Committed relationship. Straight. At least once daily. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/78 "2006-06-30T05:58:36Z")
[QUOTE=iampunha] Newp. Not nearly luby enough, and besides that, I’m standing up. [/QUOTE] I hear ya. I’m uncut, so the lube thing isn’t a factor, but I just don’t like doing it standing up. I always feel … rushed (like trying to finish before the hot water runs out.) ---
**Author:** ![kevegan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e68b1a/32.png) [@kevegan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevegan)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/79 "2006-06-30T06:08:08Z")
Male Single Straight 30 next week Twice a day (morning and evening) + sometimes at work in the Disabled closet. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2006, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/80 "2006-06-30T06:59:27Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] Ick! No, no, no! Soap does a NASTY number on the male private parts if rubbed in vigorously. Dries them up and then you get cracks and bleeding. Everything in the bathroom except for hand lotion (and lube if it’s that kind of bathroom)–soap, shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, etc.–is awful for penises. [/QUOTE] I used neosporin a few times and that wasn’t bad. But aside from that, yeah most bathroom supplies are no good for this. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533.md?page=5)