# How often do you masturbate? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 28, 2006, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533 "2006-06-28T19:11:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/141 "2006-07-06T19:14:30Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] They are if you don’t pull out. sorry sorry sorry sorry [/QUOTE] You should be shot. Although it was pretty freakin’ funny. (No, I won’t be answering the thread.) ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/142 "2006-07-06T19:21:27Z")
[QUOTE=vaderspal] Now, after a terrifying condom mishap [/QUOTE] I am picturing a huge crate marked “Trojan” breaking free from a crane at the loading dock. Am I close? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rachael\_Rage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71c47a/32.png) [@Rachael\_Rage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachael_Rage)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/143 "2006-07-06T19:24:56Z")
[QUOTE=vetbridge] I am picturing a huge crate marked “Trojan” breaking free from a crane at the loading dock. Am I close? 😉 [/QUOTE] That’s about what it felt like, yeah. ---
**Author:** ![jaxtherogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a3d4f5/32.png) [@jaxtherogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaxtherogue)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/144 "2006-07-06T20:51:31Z")
female 30 lesbian once/twice a day ---
**Author:** ![Malienation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Malienation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malienation)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/145 "2006-07-06T21:19:21Z")
Oooh, just remembered something I read years ago. Apparently, back in the day when sewing machines used foot power (you pumped a treadle to make it go), some sweatshop workers found that if they positioned themselves just right, they could surreptitiously masturbate themselves with the slight rubbing motion of their thighs against their crotch. 😃 This worked because the normal chair they sat on allowed them to squeeze their thighs together, unlike a bicycle seat, which generally keeps the thighs apart and are actually made to minimize groin friction. What’s that? Why…why, yes, now that you mention it, _pumping the treadle_ would indeed make a fresh new euphemism for jilling off. 😃 And hey, band name: _Groin Friction._ ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/146 "2006-07-06T22:28:21Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] I’m fairly confident that this is was a very hot-looking co-worker of mine used to be doing. I’d spot her sitting with legs tightly crossed, the foot on the top leg bouncing up and down quickly and rhythmically. [/QUOTE] Oh, I’m about 99% that you’re right. yes, I know this from experience. I can’t believe she’d do it at work, though! ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/147 "2006-07-06T22:52:02Z")
Here’s some strange trivia: When I first started consciously masturbating to sexual fantasies, around age 14 or so, the hand-stroking method never worked for me. So my usual method was to rub against something - typically my pillow - basically simulating copulation. It wasn’t until I was twenty, when I finally got to watch my first porn movie, that I actually got any results from hand-stroking. I wonder how common that is. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2006, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/148 "2006-07-06T22:55:43Z")
**Phase42** , are you male or female? ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/149 "2006-07-07T00:19:34Z")
Male 🙂 My “pillow technique” involved putting my dick between the pillow and pillowcase and going at it 😃 I should mention how my “pillow techique” evolved. I actually started writing my own erotic fiction when I was fourteen (it was pretty lame stuff, especially considering it would be another six years before I lost my virginity 🙂 ). This would have been 1980 or so, long before I had a computer, so my writing was done by hand in spiral notebooks. I wrote in bed, lying on my stomach and propped on my elbows. At some point I discovered it was more comfortable if I turned my pillow lengthwise under me. That’s when I discovered I could get better contact with the pillow than with the mattress. So I would write out my little fantasies, simultaneously rubbing my dick on the pillow. I’d write until I came, then I’d just flip the pillow over and go to sleep 🙂 Of course, this made for some hard-to-explain stains on my pillow, but I managed to pass it off as stains from drooling in my sleep. I don’t know if my mom believed that, but she accepted it. Anyway, from time to time, instead of writing I would try to just read what I had already written (which was quite a lot), and masturbate by hand. Nothing ever happened. I guess that viewing my first porn movie at age 20 just triggered something, and suddenly the hand method worked. ---
**Author:** ![percussion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@percussion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/percussion)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/150 "2006-07-07T01:56:01Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] They are if you don’t pull out. sorry sorry sorry sorry [/QUOTE] I LOVE YOU ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/151 "2006-07-07T04:21:43Z")
[QUOTE=percussion] I LOVE YOU [/QUOTE] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/152 "2006-07-07T09:30:57Z")
[QUOTE=elfkin477] Oh, I’m about 99% that you’re right. yes, I know this from experience. I can’t believe she’d do it at work, though! [/QUOTE] Heh. Believe it. I guess she thought no-one would catch on. She was nearly right. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/153 "2006-07-07T14:22:43Z")
[QUOTE=Phase42] It wasn’t until I was twenty, when I finally got to watch my first porn movie, that I actually got any results from hand-stroking. I wonder how common that is. [/QUOTE] I did not masturbate to orgasm until after I’d lost my virginity at age 19. Played with myself, sure. But not to climax. I had my first conscious orgasm (to distinguish from wet dreams) when I was with a girl. Blew my fucking mind. Whereupon I commenced with the hourly monkeyspank. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/154 "2006-07-07T15:22:31Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] It should be “very good” instead of “too good”. Me and two friends were at a minor league baseball game a long time ago. (the OKC '89ers) and they played Thank God I’m a Country Boy for the 7th inning streach. We changed the words a bit. Oh and it should also be I whip it when I can, I’d suck it if I could. [/QUOTE] [hijack]I grew up in Oklahoma, in a little town in the panhandle called Shattuck.[/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/155 "2006-07-07T22:52:38Z")
[QUOTE=Malienation] Oooh, just remembered something I read years ago. Apparently, back in the day when sewing machines used foot power (you pumped a treadle to make it go), some sweatshop workers found that if they positioned themselves just right, they could surreptitiously masturbate themselves with the slight rubbing motion of their thighs against their crotch. 😃 This worked because the normal chair they sat on allowed them to squeeze their thighs together, unlike a bicycle seat, which generally keeps the thighs apart and are actually made to minimize groin friction. What’s that? Why…why, yes, now that you mention it, _pumping the treadle_ would indeed make a fresh new euphemism for jilling off. 😃 And hey, band name: _Groin Friction._ [/QUOTE] Listen parents: If Little 12-year-old Timmy volunteers to wash everyone’s clothes in basement and tells you to get lost… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![sunacres](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@sunacres](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunacres)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/156 "2006-07-07T22:59:36Z")
49 Male Straight, mostly Divorced Coupla times a day, more if I have time. Not counting with my sweetie. I also use the “no-hands” technique when discretion is advised. Organize the equipment just right, cross the legs and squeeze. Who says work can’t be fun? ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/157 "2006-07-07T23:46:57Z")
> [@sunacres](#): > > I also use the “no-hands” technique when discretion is advised. Organize the equipment just right, cross the legs and squeeze. Who says work can’t be fun? :eek: That’s gotta be messy, and smelly too. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/158 "2006-07-08T02:52:36Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] :eek: That’s gotta be messy, and smelly too. [/QUOTE] Yes, but you could make it work. You would just have to be frequently seen wiping your desk with bleach, and eating frozen burritos or Bisquick pancakes for lunch. You know, to blame the smell on something else. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kevegan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e68b1a/32.png) [@kevegan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevegan)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/159 "2006-07-08T03:15:56Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] I’m fairly confident that this is was a very hot-looking co-worker of mine used to be doing. I’d spot her sitting with legs tightly crossed, the foot on the top leg bouncing up and down quickly and rhythmically. Her right hand was still mouse-clicking but I don’t think she was paying much attention to what was on-screen so much as looking more or less like she was working, and quite often her left hand would be wrapped around a banana and her thumb rubbing back and forth across the end of it. Mental stimulation and all that. There may have been a perfectly innocent explanation, but on the balance of probabilities, I firmly believe Xochi was getting herself off at her desk. [/QUOTE] I shot my load just reading that. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533/160 "2006-07-08T03:20:50Z")
TMI at last! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-masturbate/362533.md?page=9)