# How often do you say 'I Love You' to you SO? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 15, 2005, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795 "2005-01-15T00:06:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/41 "2005-01-15T16:28:14Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I feel sorry for those who can’t/won’t express their love to each other. On the other side of the spectrum, the only time my husband has said he loved me was when it was in the marrige vows, and I think the only reason he said it then was because it would have confused to little old Judge who married us if he left it out. And it isn’t that he isn’t demonstrative: he’s affectionate and I’ve never doubted his admiration, compassion, and respect for me. But he doesn’t like the phrase, and he thinks the word itself has been diluted to meaninglessness, as people now “love” everything from movies to nailpolish to food. I don’t agree, and say it to him several times a day. I don’t think it means nearly as much to him as my actions do, but, as I have explained to him, I need to say it regardless of whether or not he needs to hear it. It certainly doesn’t bother him to hear it. We’ve been together seven years now, married four. I’m happier with my relationship than I ever thought any human being could be. So while there is nothing wrong with the phrase, it isn’t vital for a happy relationship, and certainly no reason to feel sorry for someone. ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/42 "2005-01-15T17:42:52Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > I know. She literally wept with joy. > > Long, racking sobs of joy. It really was touching. …Um, **Giraffe** …um, maybe that was because…um, well, nevermind. You just keep being nice. OK? ---
**Author:** ![LucyInDisguise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucyindisguise/32/18064_2.png) [@LucyInDisguise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LucyInDisguise)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/43 "2005-01-15T18:25:07Z")
No Idea how many times a Day – 20X not really unusual - But we each have ‘a special way’ of saying “I Love You” that conveys a confirmed feeling that we really mean it – don’t ever want to take the chance that we get numb to the phrase or don’t hear the _feeling_ in the words … “Honey, how many years now?” ( :wally Typical man …) 18.5 years and still loving it … 😃 * * * I’ll take reality for $500, Alex … ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/44 "2005-01-15T18:53:36Z")
Several times a day. The cool thing is she says it back, and seems to _mean_ it (as do I, of course). After 22 years, I still can’t get too much. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/45 "2005-01-15T19:27:38Z")
Hmm…never counted, but I’d put it at about 20-30 times a day. Yes, we do have a few folks who roll their eyes at us for saying it that much, but “too bad for them” is my thought. I love my wife more than anything imaginable, and I like for her to know that. 🙂 Oh yes, together eight years, married five. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/46 "2005-01-15T19:57:16Z")
Cub Hubby and I say “I love you” many times a day, upwards of ten times a day. It just never gets old. W’ve been married for 27 years. ---
**Author:** ![Cockatiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cockatiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cockatiel)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/47 "2005-01-15T20:23:38Z")
Can I just say say how cute this thread is? 😃 Brings joy to my heart to hear about so many couples going strong after that many years. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2005, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/48 "2005-01-15T21:12:03Z")
We’ve been together 4 1/2 - 5 years. We end pretty much every phoen conversation with “I love you”, and whenever one of us leaves the house it gets tacked on, too. My favourite,t hough, is when, for example, I’m reading and he’s on the computer, I’ll yell from the other room: “Hey Scott!” “Yeah?” “I love you!” So obviously our count varies as we have wacky schedules, but I’d say anywhere form 3-20 times per day. ---
**Author:** ![Maxxxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Maxxxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maxxxie)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2005, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/49 "2005-01-16T09:49:06Z")
> [@psycat90](#): > > My husband and I say I love you to each other anywhere from 2 to 10 times a day. > > Bare minimum really would be 2. Before we leave for work in the morning, and before we fall asleep at night. During the day we IM each other at work, usually just a quicke 'I love you" sometimes we email, ending with I love you. Every phone conversation ends with ‘love you’ and ‘bye.’ Then there are just random kisses and I love yous for the hell of it. Very sweet. This is pretty much how it is between me and MaxBabe. Sometimes I feel like I don’t tell her enough. I think it’s important to make an effort - I don’t want her to feel like I’m taking her for granted. We’ve been together about 18 months. We’re as married as we’re ever going to get 🙂 Max. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2005, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/50 "2005-01-16T11:26:32Z")
I’m in a long distance relationship, when we’re together we’ll say it about 5 to 8 times a day. When we’re not together we say it once or twice when we speak on the phone. ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/51 "2005-01-16T13:32:19Z")
sunflower and i have been together for 33 years. “i love you” is our favorite phrase. we always hold hands when we walk together. ---
**Author:** ![LucyInDisguise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucyindisguise/32/18064_2.png) [@LucyInDisguise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LucyInDisguise)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/52 "2005-01-16T14:47:33Z")
Ya know somethin’? I keep seein’ things like “… we disgust our friends …” and “…few folks who roll their eyes at us for saying it …” and such. I say, “Ignore 'em …” In support of that advice I offer the following “Words of Wisdom” – Don’t know who originated this, so I can’t cite – however, I think it says it all: To all who understand, no explanation is necessary … 🙂 To all who don’t, no explanation will ever help. ☹ So jus’ keep on huggin’ an’ kissin’ an’ expressing your love … in a few decades you’ll both look back and see what a difference it made. 😃 (Of the 23 Couples we know who married within the year before or after my wife and I married, only 3 are still together. _Guess what we all have in common_!!!) ---
**Author:** ![Indyellen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/indyellen/32/4176_2.png) [@Indyellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indyellen)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/53 "2005-01-16T15:04:18Z")
Himself (my bf) and I say it all the time. We’ve been together for almost 3 years now, and we say it before I leave for work, before we go to bed, and during the day more times than I can count. Always at the end of phone calls. Sometimes we write each other notes or private LJ posts. We still hold hands a lot and kiss frequently. There’s a commercial out I’ve seen around here that has this younger couple walking down a trail in a park, and coming up on an old couple who are holding hands. As the younger couple go around the outside of the couple, they rejoin on the path & hold hands themselves. Every so often when we see this, we kiss & ask if we’ll still be that goofy when _we’re_ that age. (We’re currently 35 & 37.) The consensus is usually “yes.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Caprese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9a28c/32.png) [@Caprese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caprese)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2005, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/54 "2005-01-16T15:13:36Z")
> [@LucyInDisguise](#): > > To all who understand, no explanation is necessary … 🙂 > To all who don’t, no explanation will ever help. ☹ > > (Of the 23 Couples we know who married within the year before or after my wife and I married, only 3 are still together. _Guess what we all have in common_!!!) I agree with your little ‘explanation’ piece. OTOH, all but one of our close couples friends, people we’ve known for more than 25 years, have now divorced. (Its actually been a rather surprising and sad couple of years in our little crowd.) ☹ We, the two who do not say “I Love You” all that much, are still going strong. I _respect and applaud_ those who share those words daily, but some of us just say it once a month or so and still have healthy relationships. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2005, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/55 "2005-01-16T17:16:32Z")
At least ten times a day, each. Dated for four years, married for two. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/56 "2005-01-16T17:28:28Z")
Fairly often - getting off the phone at work, emails during the day, ALWAYS before I go to bed (I always go before him), whenever we’re feeling lovey. We’re not into PDA - we rarely hold hands in public - but we aren’t shy with the I love yous. We’ve been together for a little over two years and married 4 1/2 months. (Yeah, we went a little fast compared to my friends…). E. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/57 "2005-01-16T17:40:56Z")
We say it multiple times a day. Been together 3 1/2 years. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2005, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/58 "2005-01-16T17:44:47Z")
My husband and I have been together almost five years, and married almost a year. I’ve never counted how many times I say “I love you” to my husband, but it’s probably at least eight times a day. We don’t say I love you over the phone when he’s at work, and we don’t use pet names if we’re in front of other people (my husband thinks saying our pet names for each other in front of others makes those names somehow less special - less ours - I don’t really mind, but I respect his wishes). Still, I don’t think you’re weird at all. Hell, sometimes I say I love you to some of my really close friends. Maybe that’s weird - I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795/59 "2005-01-16T18:24:10Z")
I couldn’t even begin to count the number of “I Love You’s” said between us - Scores per week, easily. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-say-i-love-you-to-you-so/284795.md?page=2)