# How often do you talk to strangers? Do you like it when they talk to you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 16, 2013, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-talk-to-strangers-do-you-like-it-when-they-talk-to-you/666431 "2013-08-16T17:12:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-talk-to-strangers-do-you-like-it-when-they-talk-to-you/666431/81 "2013-08-23T13:49:10Z")
As long as people are willing not to talk to people who don’t want to talk it’s fine. I’ve never understood why people who don’t want to talk to strangers are considered to be rude and are expected to engage in conversation whether they want to or not. For me, I live conversations, but I hate chit chat. If we’re going to talk, I’ll want to talk about politics, religion, the role of religion in politics, class and race in America, or the role of religion, class and race in American politics… If we’re not going to get into the deep end pretty quick, I’d rather read my book. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-talk-to-strangers-do-you-like-it-when-they-talk-to-you/666431/82 "2013-08-23T19:01:54Z")
> [@JBDivmstr](#): > > She might’ve thought you were about to steal them. 😕 Possibly, but I’m pretty sure she saw me open the boot and put my shopping in first, so she knew it was my car. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-talk-to-strangers-do-you-like-it-when-they-talk-to-you/666431/83 "2013-08-23T19:19:13Z")
I’m open to short conversations. Maybe something like a joke about how stupid the TSA is (while in line at the airport) or a couple non-intrusive questions, then we should be done. We’ve made contact and if anything serious comes up we can have a serious conversation then. My wife does not start conversations with strangers yet I will find her sometimes in a public place listening to someone’s life story, told in exqusite detail. People will tell her about their husbands in jail or their wayward children. Something about her makes people want to tell her everything and she can’t seem to stop them. ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-talk-to-strangers-do-you-like-it-when-they-talk-to-you/666431/84 "2013-08-24T07:47:31Z")
> [@Snerky\_Snerk](#): > > I try to avoid talking to strangers, as I always seem to end up in stupid situations. Some examples: > > - A taxi driver picked me up. There was a bit of small talk, including him asking if I was married. I said no. A few weeks later I caught a taxi again. Same driver. He tells me he has arranged my marriage, I just have to meet the family for final approval. And I would need to convert to Islam. What. The. Fuck?! How did I end up with an arranged marriage and a religious conversion? > Talking to strangers. > > - So I bought a car to avoid strange taxi drivers. One day I stop at a gas station, and this lady starts talking to me. I’m 95 percent certain she was a guy in a dress. I had never met a man dressed like a lady before, so the situation was new for me. Do I not mention it? I was a little confused. She asks for a lift home. Ok. We get to her house, pull up in the driveway, and 2 huge guys in mini dresses come running out of the house and make themselves at home on the back seat. Then their big dogs run over and jump in as well. There was so much squealing, and barking, and dog spit flying around, I just rested my had on the steering wheel and felt like crying. What. The. Fuck?! How did I end up with my car full of cross dressers and giant slobbering dogs? > Talking to strangers. > > - One day I was walking, about to cross the street, and a car screeches to a stop in front of me. 3 dudes jump out. The driver says hello and asks me what I’m up to. I say, ‘Not much.’. He asks if I want to go to a party. I shrug, ‘Sure, whatever.’ I get in the car, and we drive off to an isolated industrial park. They take me into one of the buildings. Oh, hell no. It was a Potters House church meeting. What. The. Fuck?! For 3 hours I was trapped, nibbling on tiny cheese sandwiches, sipping tea, and thanking Jesus. Why? > Talking to strangers. > > Actually, I’m probably lucky that I only meet nice strangers. If I ever meet a serial killer, I’d probably be the easiest victim they ever had. I’m a bit surprised I haven’t ended up dead in ditch somewhere. Yet. What. The. FUCK?! Is exactly right. :eek: If these stories are all true, (as you’ve told them) you, my friend, need to work on being more assertive. The first story… Meh, sounds to me like the cab driver was just ‘jerking your chain’ a little in (what he considered) a humorous way. Stop and think about it, cab driver does nothing all day but drive around, or for that matter, sits parked, waiting for the dispatcher to send him to pick up a fare. Not a very exciting day, IMO. So he finds amusement in doing things like what he did to you. Kind of a twisted sense of humor and a little ‘jerkish’ IMHO, but the world is full of people like that, what’re ya’ gonna do? You didn’t _seriously_ **believe** him, did you? :dubious: Please, say you didn’t. ☹ The second story? Pray tell… What did you _do_ after you found yourself with a car full of “crossdressers and big slobbering dogs”? 😕 Me? I would’ve said, “Wait, just a damn minute! Do I look like a freakin’ taxi cab, to y’all?! Get the _ **hell** _ out of my car.” Your third story? Just, _ **WOW** _! “a car screeches to a stop in front of me. 3 dudes jump out.” This alone, would have induced apprehension (if not downright, suspicion) in me. The “driver says hello … asks … what I’m up to… and … if I want to go to a party”. Me… “What _ **kind** _ of party, and _ **where** _ is this party _ **at** _?” “we drive off to an isolated industrial park” WHAT.THE.FUCK?! :eek: I’ve been to a lot of parties in my day and I can’t recall _ **any** _ of them being held at “an isolated industrial park”! You didn’t find any of that a little bit… strange or odd? :dubious: (‘scary’ is actually what came to my mind) Out of curiosity, are you male or female? And (approx.) how old are you? Story #1? Completely believable. #2? Plausible. #3? Makes _ **my** _ ‘BS meter’ peg out. Not that I’m saying you’re lying. But your incidents sound, well… contrived, comes to mind. (Pulling our ‘collective’ leg, perhaps?) 😕 If #3 is actually true, then you are **incredibly** naive and entirely **too** trusting, IMHO. ☹ “I’m a bit surprised I haven’t ended up dead in (a) ditch somewhere.” With behaviour such as you’ve described, neither am I. :rolleyes: Just saying… ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-talk-to-strangers-do-you-like-it-when-they-talk-to-you/666431/85 "2013-08-24T15:30:09Z")
Very rarely. There is a difference between ‘anti-social’ and ‘selectively social’. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Arabella\_Flynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@Arabella\_Flynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arabella_Flynn)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-talk-to-strangers-do-you-like-it-when-they-talk-to-you/666431/86 "2013-08-24T22:07:48Z")
It happened very rarely in Arizona. They were creepy the vast majority of the time. The frontier I’ll-take-care-of-myself mentality is very strong in some parts of the state, and the prohibition against interfering with someone else’s sovereign personal space is strong enough that only people who don’t see or can’t be bothered to respect social cues will step up to you and try to chat. The only real exceptions were people like cashiers at places I shopped regularly. You have to talk to the cashier at least a little – it’s a bit difficult to get across ‘can I have some laundry quarters back please?’ with hand signals – and I didn’t find chatting about the weather on top of that to be annoying. I’m in New England now. People don’t really strike up conversations out of the blue here, but it is socially acceptable to ask strangers for minor favors. I’ve been asked for directions on the street, and I’ve been asked to keep an eye on laptops in the library while their owners run to the copy machine or the bathroom. It’s a big part of the Yankee idea of civilization, I gather. I don’t find this creepy or bothersome at all, mainly because it’s also understood that this is a rotten way to make friends – once you’ve given them directions or they’ve come back from the ladies’, they say thank you, you say you’re welcome, and your relationship is officially dissolved. Strangers who want extended conversations normally try when I’m in a club or a bar, doing one of my minor-entertainment-industry-flunky jobs. I’m in a social mode then, so unless they’re truly skeezy I’ll just chatter away about nothing until the house lights go down and they have to find their seats. It happens a lot in those circumstances, but that’s also kind of what I’m there for. ---
**Author:** ![LMarie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c68b51/32.png) [@LMarie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LMarie)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2013, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-talk-to-strangers-do-you-like-it-when-they-talk-to-you/666431/87 "2013-08-24T23:57:23Z")
Supermarket and gym I don’t mind. While I’m not likely to strike up a conversation, I’m open to chatting it up with strangers for a few minutes. A flight is another story, though. Once on a loooooong international flight, I sat next to a very nice gentleman and we spent hours talking about all sorts of interesting things. We even kept in touch for a while after that, which was nice. However, on my last domestic flight I got stuck smack in between two Chatty Cathy’s when all I wanted to do was read, listen to some good music and rest. I cannot even begin to tell you the depth of misery that that flight turned out to be. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-do-you-talk-to-strangers-do-you-like-it-when-they-talk-to-you/666431.md?page=4)