likewise, I usually wish myself dead. I’ve lived long enough.
I like you, but I think you’re wrong. It is because I’ve entertained violent thoughts in great detail, playing out whole scenarios for various individuals, that I’ve established my general distate of violence. I’ve decided that it is, in most cases, pointless (every case if you consider things as a Buddhist who is only here in this life as one step of many others on a much larger journey), and self-perpetuating. Had I not given true violence and hate some thought and reflection, I’d likely still freely indulge my natural impulses.
We don’t know each other’s minds, only each other’s actions. Unless you subscribe to the concept of us all sharing a common mind, being a small part of a whole. But even then, thoughts happen–it’s what you do with them that is important.