# How often does opposite sex's look linger on you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 26, 2011, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128 "2011-11-26T05:45:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/21 "2011-11-27T01:02:56Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > I’m middle-aged, plain and fat. Nobody gives me a second look. same here. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/22 "2011-11-27T01:14:08Z")
Often. I catch guys staring several times a week, and even if I’m doing whatever it’s impossible not to notice the occasional guy who stops dead to stare. But I honestly think if I had dark _or_ blonde hair, no one much would notice me; other than being a natural redhead, my looks just aren’t _that_ impressive. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/23 "2011-11-27T01:21:16Z")
> [@abbeytxs](#): > > I’m female and in my late 40’s. I officially became invisible to the rest of the world about five years ago. Pretty much the same. I have learned to command attention when I need it, but only as a person, not as a woman. It’s kind of liberating. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/24 "2011-11-27T01:23:44Z")
“Other” : What? Women\* look \*at me? Really? I mean I know people who watch where they’re going will observe my presence, in order to avoid a collision, but lingering looks? Is that some new thing that I’m supposed to notice? ---
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/25 "2011-11-27T01:35:29Z")
I am, AFAIK, invisible to either gender. It’s kind of cool. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/26 "2011-11-27T01:48:06Z")
I’m invisible. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/27 "2011-11-27T02:00:08Z")
I have no idea. Pretty much everyone is guilty of the “I was staring but as soon as I see that you have seen me staring I quickly dart my eyes in another direction” _faux pas_ when I’m out and about, so it’s difficult to ascertain which looks are coming from those who find me attractive and those who find me a curiousity. ---
**Author:** ![Amblydoper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Amblydoper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amblydoper)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/28 "2011-11-27T02:41:43Z")
> [@Soliloquy](#): > > I only pay attention to the lingering looks of one man, and I catch him staring all the time. He makes me self conscious and giddy all at once. I don’t give a rat’s tail who else looks. He likes you. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/29 "2011-11-27T04:52:23Z")
I have very, very long hair. I get stared at _all_ the time, by both genders. I don’t mind that at all, it’s the ones that actually touch it that tend to annoy me. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/30 "2011-11-27T05:35:22Z")
I’ve never noticed anyone checking me out to know whether the look lingers or not. > [@elfkin477](#): > > Often. I catch guys staring several times a week, and even if I’m doing whatever it’s impossible not to notice the occasional guy who stops dead to stare. But I honestly think if I had dark _or_ blonde hair, no one much would notice me; other than being a natural redhead, my looks just aren’t _that_ impressive. Red hair doesn’t work on everyone, but when it does, it works _very_ well. Use this information wisely. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/31 "2011-11-27T14:11:04Z")
Very often, with a look that says “His wife let him go out dressed like _that_?” ---
**Author:** ![Madame\_Joy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@Madame\_Joy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madame_Joy)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/32 "2011-11-27T14:17:01Z")
> [@abbeytxs](#): > > I’m female and in my late 40’s. I officially became invisible to the rest of the world about five years ago. You may think so, but I have found that not to be the case. Although, my boyfriend tells me I’m hot, I still get “carded” buying alcohol, AND I have red hair. I get a lot more looks now than 5 years ago, because I wear sexier clothing (a) because I moved from the PNW to FL, and (b) because my ex-husband was a jealous prude, but my boyfriend loves to see other guys look at me. ---
**Author:** ![slm2955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/33 "2011-11-27T21:26:25Z")
Wayyy to often! ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/34 "2011-11-27T21:37:44Z")
> [@slm2955](#): > > Wayyy to often! Not saying that this isn’t a problem in itself, but I’ll my trade my “never” for that any day. Wanna switch? ---
**Author:** ![missinformation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@missinformation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missinformation)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/35 "2011-11-27T21:41:26Z")
Only long enough to decide that I walk funny and get a pitying look and a head shake. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/36 "2011-11-27T21:48:13Z")
Sometimes. Not rare, not often. ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/37 "2011-11-27T22:29:34Z")
The results so far are interesting: ```auto Often Rarely Never Men 21% 30% 49% Women 48% 16% 36% ``` First, of course, a much higher percentage of women get stared at often (48% vs 21%), which is not much of a surprise. What is somewhat of a surprise is that for men, there is a steady increase going from 21% to 30% to 49% as we go from often to rarely to never, while for women, the results are bimodal. That is, it looks like, for women, there is some threshold of beauty that, if they are above that threshold, they get looked at a lot, and if they are below it, they don’t get looked at. It’s much more black-and-white than with men, where there seems to be a more gradual change in stats. Of course, the above observations are to be read with the obvious caveat that the sample size is small, self-selected, etc. Also, there could be other interpretations of the data so far, and if you have a different interpretation, I’d love to hear it. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/38 "2011-11-27T23:45:35Z")
It may sound like a pop-psych Dr. Phil level interpretation, but it could be that women are more attuned to the attitudes of others in their area, and also are conditioned to try to look presentable (makeup, hair styling, etc.). Therefore women are more aware of the impression they make on others, whether it is “everyone is looking at me” or “no one is looking at me.” Men are less likely to be consciously trying to be “presentable,” and so are mostly socially blind to non-threatening behaviours from others. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/39 "2011-11-27T23:56:03Z")
Men will sneak a peek at a woman’s curves. Women will sneak a peek at a man’s bank balance. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128/40 "2011-11-28T00:00:05Z")
Redoing a poll by age and gender (and perhaps BMI) would yield some insights as to the women’s attractiveness threshold. I’m surprised that there isn’t a larger difference between women who get checked out often and men who get checked out often. I was expecting more than a 2.5x difference. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-often-does-opposite-sexs-look-linger-on-you/604128.md?page=3)