# How old is too old to become a father? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 30, 2011, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418 "2011-06-30T19:14:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/1 "2011-06-30T19:14:32Z")
Cellists Julian Lloyd Webber and Jiaxian cheng have welcomed a daughter, [Jasmine Orienta](http://www.isopix.be/persfotos_photos-de-presse/julian-lloyd-webber-wife-jiaxian-and-their-newborn-baby-daughter-jasmine-orient-801444-st.aspx). Julian turned 60 in April. This is his fourth marriage. So, what do you think? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/2 "2011-06-30T19:21:12Z")
Meh. None of my business. Being a parent is tiring though. I became one at 35 and again at 36. I can’t imagine waiting much longer than that. And i would never want to be mistaken as my child’s grandparent. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/3 "2011-06-30T19:26:00Z")
I grew up with a guy whose dad fought in WWII, we were both born in 1981. He had to put up with his dad being mistaken for his grandad pretty much universally but his dad was around at least until he was 20. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Nene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/da6949/32.png) [@El\_Nene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Nene)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/4 "2011-06-30T19:37:11Z")
Depends. I don’t think it would face me much if I had a son when in my 40s, 50s or even sixties. However, a coworker’s husband will be 60 when the first of his three daughters begins her teens. That, I don’t think I could handle. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/5 "2011-06-30T19:40:46Z")
If you have the desire to reproduce and can pull it off, you’re never too old in my book. Men who want to have babies when they are old enough to be grandfathers? More power to them. The baby will have a young mother, and usually in these situations (much-younger wife/gf) the father has plenty of money to provide for raising children, even if he dies before they are self-sufficient. I’ve known too many young parents cut down by random severe injuries and death (including my own father and my good friend’s mother, when we were both 15), to think that having your kids young is any kind of guarantee they’ll have your emotional or financial support until later in life. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/6 "2011-06-30T19:48:32Z")
I would personally say the cutoff is 48. If you have a kid after 48 you will be trying to enter retirement and pay for college at the same time which seems monstrously difficult to me. Now if you don’t plan to retire until 70, if you don’t plan to pay for your kids education, or you are extremely wealthy to the point where money doesn’t really matter then breed for as long as you’re able but for the average person I would say 48 would be the latest you should have kids. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/7 "2011-06-30T19:49:40Z")
Anecdote: A step-sister I have who is 40, has a 10 year old brother, her father was 63 when his wife conceived. My opinion: I would not want to be running around after a little critter at 50. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/8 "2011-06-30T20:04:34Z")
> [@An\_Gadai](#): > > I grew up with a guy whose dad fought in WWII, we were both born in 1981. He had to put up with his dad being mistaken for his grandad pretty much universally but his dad was around at least until he was 20. This is pretty much me. My dad and I are 62 years apart in age. I don’t have any beef with him being so much older than I am, or my friends’ dads. When I was very young, it was irritating, and for some reason somewhat embarrassing, that everyone thought pa was my grandpa, but other than highly irrational and short-lived insecurities of childhood, it’s been a blast. Concievably, someone could wish her old man was a little more spry, and it might suck that your parent is having senior issues even though you’re only 19, but I never had to put up with any of that personally. My dad’s in great shape. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/9 "2011-06-30T20:19:15Z")
> [@rhubarbarin](#): > > If you have the desire to reproduce and can pull it off, you’re never too old in my book. But what does pulling it off have to do with actually reproducing? To actually answer the question I have always felt that it is a little bit selfish to have a child when there is a good chance you may die before the graduate from high school…but better than to have never had childred at all, I suppose. Also, if you are too old to help with child rearing, chasing the kiddo around, being able to lift/carry etc., you are probably too old. I am 36 and have an 18 month old. If I ever decide to have another, I suppose I would like it to happen by the time I’m 45. You know, so I don’t have to attend her high school graduation pushing a walker. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/10 "2011-06-30T20:25:17Z")
Depends on the type of family. In a functioning extended family there really is no too old because even if the father dies, the other relatives will be there. In an isolated nuclear family, I would say 40. That way they won’t be facing college expenses with retirement looming. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/11 "2011-06-30T20:49:07Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Meh. None of my business. Concur. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/12 "2011-06-30T21:04:24Z")
During my genealogy research of my own family, I discovered that one of my great great grandmothers passed away when she was 34 years old. Her husband, my great grandfather, who was 41 at the time, re-married about 10 years later (about the same time his son, my great grandfather married) and had 7 more kids up until he was in his late 60’s. He died when he was 82. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/13 "2011-06-30T22:57:39Z")
As a teacher, I’ve had not a few high school students who had dads who were 65 or 70. In general, they’ve been great dads: they have a lot more time to be involved, and often are more mellow about certain things: they are able to enjoy their kids more and less likely to see them as a reflection on themselves. And you collect extra social security for dependents. It stops at 18, but it does help. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/14 "2011-06-30T23:15:50Z")
Yeah, my thinking on the subject has always been not “how old is too old to have a child?” but “how old is too old to have a _teenager?_” (And the more depressing “how prepared are you for leaving a widow with a young child?” ☹ ) ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/15 "2011-06-30T23:16:39Z")
In a normal income two parent family situation, I’d say 40. Wealth, and other matters can change things of course. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/16 "2011-06-30T23:53:22Z")
My dad was 49 (and my mom 39.) On the one hand, I got a lot of benefits from having older parents. On the other hand, I was very lucky that my dad turned out to be long lived (he’s still around and 80) but he had a lot of health crises, including two heart attacks, and wasn’t as healthy as other people’s dads. I wouldn’t have traded him, though! ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/17 "2011-07-01T00:09:46Z")
Advanced paternal age has been linked to an increased risk of spontaneous schizophrenia, autism, miscarriages and whole host of other birth problems. It has to do with spontaneous mutations in the sperm cells. See this wiki article on the Paternal Age Effect - it contains links to studies demonstrating the effect linked to a variety of disorders. > **[Paternal age effect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternal_age_effect)** > > The paternal age effect is the statistical relationship between the father's age at conception and biological effects on the child. Such effects can relate to birthweight, congenital disorders, life expectancy, and psychological outcomes. A 2017 review found that while severe health effects are associated with higher paternal age, the total increase in problems caused by paternal age is low. Average paternal age at birth reached a low point between 1960 and 1980 in many countries and has The ge... For other reading, here’s a NYT article on parental age and its possible relation to autism- [http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/09/health/09autism.html](http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/09/health/09autism.html) And a pubmed article about the link to schizophrenia - > **[Advancing paternal age and the risk of schizophrenia - PubMed](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11296097/)** > > These findings support the hypothesis that schizophrenia may be associated, in part, with de novo mutations arising in paternal germ cells. If confirmed, they would entail a need for novel approaches to the identification of genes involved in... I certainly wouldn’t want to have a child with a man older than 50. I’d be leery about a man over 40, in the same way that I, as a 43 year old woman would be leery about having a child by any father. I want to quote that NYT I linked to above: > [@](#): > > Older mothers are more likely than younger ones to have a child with autism, and older fathers significantly contribute to the risk of the disorder when their partners are under 30, researchers are reporting. It’s possible that an extreme age difference is a factor as well. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/18 "2011-07-01T02:31:04Z")
As a parent, the thing that scares me most, that I wasn’t prepared for, was the idea that I was making a commitment to my kids to live to see them become independent adults. Obviously, I can’t control that all the way, but in my mind, perhaps the worst thing I could do to my kids is die while they are still kids. Security is huge for me. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/19 "2011-07-01T03:34:51Z")
I think about this a fair amount. I’m 31, and I think back to my memories of my dad when he was 31 (I was 4-ish). He was still ‘young,’ and I’m kind of bummed that if (when?) I have a kid I won’t be young. Sports with my 10 year old will be a lot less easy as I’m approaching 50 than if I were approaching 40. Just having general stamina for raising a kid is (I imagine) easier when you’re younger. Less chance of burn-out, and that kind of thing. In my perfect world (which keeps changing as I age), I’d start trying to have kids in 3-4 years from now. But, I don’t think that is going to happen, and it wouldn’t be until around 40-45 when I’d start to really question whether or not it was in the cards for me. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418/20 "2011-07-01T03:37:27Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > I think about this a fair amount. I’m 31, and I think back to my memories of my dad when he was 31 (I was 4-ish). He was still ‘young,’ and I’m kind of bummed that if (when?) I have a kid I won’t be young. Sports with my 10 year old will be a lot less easy as I’m approaching 50 than if I were approaching 40. Just having general stamina for raising a kid is (I imagine) easier when you’re younger. Less chance of burn-out, and that kind of thing. > > In my perfect world (which keeps changing as I age), I’d start trying to have kids in 3-4 years from now. But, I don’t think that is going to happen, and it wouldn’t be until around 40-45 when I’d start to really question whether or not it was in the cards for me. Yeah, you don’t have as much get-up-and-go. But you do probably have more money, more experience, possibly more education… When I went to nerd camp at Duke as a pre-teen, almost all the other gifted kids had older parents like mine. Not necessarily because they were natively smarter or anything, but because their parents had the time, money, and will to get them enrichment. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-become-a-father/587418.md?page=2)