# How old is too old to still be a virgin **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 5, 2010, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208 "2010-08-05T00:48:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/61 "2010-08-05T20:21:36Z")
> [@PSXer](#): > > also my friend has never had a girlfriend. what is the secret to wooing girls? How long does your friend have?? ---
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/62 "2010-08-05T20:42:20Z")
four inches ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/63 "2010-08-05T20:44:05Z")
Okay, that deserves a kudos. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/64 "2010-08-05T20:47:44Z")
: applause : ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/65 "2010-08-05T20:54:47Z")
> [@PSXer](#): > > also my friend has never had a girlfriend. what is the secret to wooing girls? If you are wooing, you are doing it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/66 "2010-08-05T21:09:25Z")
should I skip the wooing and just go straight to asking their father’s permission to marry? ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/67 "2010-08-05T22:01:48Z")
Try talking first. At least, that’s what my friend says. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/68 "2010-08-05T22:09:02Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > > [@PSXer](#): > > > > also my friend has never had a girlfriend. what is the secret to wooing girls? > > If you are wooing, you are doing it wrong. [Curly Howard]Woo woo woo woo woo![/Curly Howard] ---
**Author:** ![Fastidiots](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@Fastidiots](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fastidiots)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/69 "2010-08-05T22:20:00Z")
> [@PSXer](#): > > should I skip the wooing and just go straight to asking their father’s permission to marry? … aren’t we talking about your friend? ---
**Author:** ![Fastidiots](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@Fastidiots](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fastidiots)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/70 "2010-08-05T22:31:28Z")
I was 21 when I lost it, to a very patient and experienced girl who suggested I go to a sex counselor after I couldn’t force my limp noodle in after three months, and I could dead lift a cinder block with my tongue (turns out I was “spectating”, thinking too much… religion, yadda yadda yadda). She’s now my fiance. I would say that for men you’re gonna wanna ditch your V-card before you’re out of college, and for women you can wait a little longer. I knew it stressed the hell out of me, even though I’d had a couple girlfriends previous. I would say one fairly significant benefit of waiting until later is that you don’t develop bad habits as a 15 year old with a girl who’s too nervous or inexperienced to tell you “Excuse me, that fucking hurts” or “Hey buddy, slow the fuck down” or “It’s right here, in the middle, above this, and just below that”. And I’m quite serious. Being an adult let me remember more of it vividly, and appreciate all the little things that I think a teenager would miss. Also, I think that being a non-virgin, or fucker I suppose, widens your dating pool as an adult. Sorry to say, but I think there are a significant flock of women that would thank you for the drink and kindly excuse themselves after they’re figured out that you’re a… non-fucker (and they’ll figure it out quick, if they couldn’t sense it from across the room already). From 16 to your early 20’s, embarrassingly admitting your a virgin will often get an endearing “Awwww” and won’t necessarily put you behind, it may even score points with some (even none religious) women. Sex is a funny thing, and quite fun when you get it right. Oh, and one more rule of thumb, the harder you look for it, the farther away it will be. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Skinley\_Von\_Clipper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@Baron\_Skinley\_Von\_Clipper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Skinley_Von_Clipper)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/71 "2010-08-05T22:34:56Z")
A guy who works with me is a virgin at 48, he once said that the idea of a woman putting her tongue in his mouth is disgusting. He also asked me what the word ‘virgin’ means. He sometimes brings toy aeroplanes to work. ---
**Author:** ![toxo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@toxo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toxo)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/72 "2010-08-05T22:49:04Z")
I say book a trip to Las Vegas(actually outside of Las Vegas), problem solved. No stress when the ‘friend’ does find a girl. Although I do not believe that being 20 makes them an old virgin. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/73 "2010-08-05T23:00:17Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > > > Au contraire madame. If you’re male, it’s _everybody’s_ business. They ought to put it on the fucking Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory. It ought to cost a man $20,000 in annual salary or 20 IQ points, whichever is the more traumatic. > > > > It’s undermining _the very foundation of American masculinity, goddammit._ Right along with the lack of universal basic training. > > Sure feels that way sometimes, doesn’t it? I feel like I ought to go get a hooker on my lunch break. I wish they’d had them in the office back when I worked in one. Real clean-cut types, professionally dressed. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/74 "2010-08-06T00:11:06Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > If you don’t want to have sex and you haven’t had it by the age of 30, I think there’s a strong chance that you are asexual (which has nothing to do with how good a friend you are, or whether or not you want a romantic relationship). Asexuality is not necessarily a good or bad thing, nor is it shameful or disgusting. It just is. Just like homosexuality just is. Most people who are asexual are perfectly fine with it…or least, once they get away from all their sex-hungry peers–become perfectly fine with it. > > If you want to have sex and haven’t been able to obtain it by 25 (or get mighty close to it), then I imagine yours would be an frustrating existence. So I could see this being a bad thing. But again, nothing that would signify that a person is sick, shameful, or a loser. > > IMHO, it’s about what the individual wants and what they’re ready for, not some arbitrary standard set by the “cool” kids who all got their cherries popped in middle school and think that’s perfectly normal. +100 If you don’t feel like having sex, then don’t have it. If an oversexed society doesn’t like it, you can tell society to, uh, oversex itself. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/75 "2010-08-06T01:27:47Z")
1. Anything older than that and I assume that you have serious issues. By that point you should have just gotten it over with if only to have had the experience. ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/76 "2010-08-06T01:44:13Z")
I think the issue is more whether you’ve had relationships with the gender of interest by a certain age. As in the older you get without having had a significant relationship of some kind, the higher the chances that will continue, whether its due to asexuality or whatever. Virginity is only indirectly related to that, in that you can lose your virginity and still have this problem or even exacerbate it (one night drunken fumble) or not lose it and still have it. Otara ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/77 "2010-08-06T02:27:55Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > This is too old. to be an imaginary friend:) ---
**Author:** ![Ms.Hazel\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Ms.Hazel\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms.Hazel_Ice)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/78 "2010-08-06T03:37:04Z")
[quote=“msmith537, post:52, topic:549208”] > [@Anaamika](#): > > > [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > > > The correct answer is, of course, NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS > > Unless you ask a public message board. Then you made it our business. > > If it wasn’t an issue, why get so “ALL CAPS” about it? I was under the impression that the sentiment was meant to be ironic; the caps suggest an over-the top-response, while “f-ing business” refers to…well…the topic at hand. Maybe I’m reading into it Annie’s response too much. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/79 "2010-08-06T05:20:38Z")
Mid-20s, and I found [a cite](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Involuntary_celibacy)! “Also, in most Westernized societies there is the additional social pressure for people in their mid-twenties to have experienced sexual interaction in some form of or another ; thus, if the person has no such experience while all of his or her peers do, the condition more often than not results in a significant increase of depression, anxiety and sexual frustration.[1]” The reference: Involuntary celibacy: A life course analysis D. Donnelly, E. Burgess, S. Anderson, R. Curry, J. Dillard, Journal of Sex Research 38(2), S. 159-169. (2001) (accessed December 14, 2006) ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208/80 "2010-08-06T05:42:54Z")
> [@Baron\_Skinley\_Von\_Clipper](#): > > A guy who works with me is a virgin at 48,… How on earth did you find this out? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-old-is-too-old-to-still-be-a-virgin/549208.md?page=5)