# How on earth do we find a first dance song for our wedding!? Halp! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 23, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722 "2009-01-23T22:28:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2009, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/21 "2009-01-24T21:14:48Z")
Well, for one thing, we just started trying to think of one. For another, as I said, I don’t just want some piece of traditional classical or big band music or whatever to do a dance to. I want something more like a rock/alternative song, and one that is meaningful to us. He isn’t as familiar with rock music in general–he’s gotten moreso since we’ve been together and he’s listened to music I have, but his music collection largely consists of jazz, salsa, and things like Wynton Marsalis (my fiancé is also a trumpet player so he likes a lot of that stuff). This is certainly going to be something that we \*both \*decide on and that we think a LOT about, not something that he is assigned to “come up with a suitable piece” for. If we just wanted to dance to some instrumental waltz piece or something, I’m sure he could name a bunch of things quickly, but that isn’t what we are looking for. The way you put that phrase in quotes, by the way, makes it seem like you’re doubting my claim. I’m not sure why you would. He \*was \*in a ballroom performance group. He also was in the Nutcracker for several years with the North Atlanta Dance Theater playing one of the parents in the party scenes with the ballroom dancing (I went to one of the rehearsals in 2004, so I know that it is true). I have seen plenty of pictures of him in costumes at dance performances. He is also really good at salsa and rueda, though I can’t remember if the group he did that with performed or not–he’s in Chicago right now or I’d ask him ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2009, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/22 "2009-01-24T21:21:43Z")
Amazingly, quote marks are often used to denote, y’know, quotes. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/23 "2009-01-24T21:24:19Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > Look around the iTunes store for shared playlists (iMix) with wedding music. We did that when picking out music for our anniversary party last summer (got a few good ideas from there). Trouble is, it can be hard to find imixes on the itunes store - I can’t recall how we got to them last summer. The problem here is that I hate iTunes software so much that I don’t have it on my computer and don’t want to install it again. (Rather not get into some long debate about why I don’t like it, just leave it as “I have my reasons, which other people may or may not agree with, but they are what they are.”) ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/24 "2009-01-24T21:25:30Z")
> [@Q.E.D](#): > > Amazingly, quote marks are often used to denote, y’know, quotes. It wasn’t just the quotes, it was the phrasing with the implication that if he had been in such a group, he would have already come up with a song, and thus since he hadn’t, it made the claim dubious. (And note that I said it seemed like that was what they were saying. I don’t know if they meant that or not and didn’t claim that they did for sure, just that it came across that way.) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/25 "2009-01-25T05:43:45Z")
You should use this one - [I think it would be perfect for a wedding.](succhilo, perdente) ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/26 "2009-01-25T05:57:39Z")
Your link goes to “[http://succhilo](http://succhilo),%20perdente” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/27 "2009-01-25T06:14:23Z")
Oh, crap - too many windows open. [This should work.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idJJwiJ0EzY) There - that’s an actual song. (I blame the drugs - I’m still woozy from sedation dentistry today.) ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/28 "2009-01-25T20:51:10Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > Ack! It has to be something you can do some sort of ballroom dance to, which limits it a lot. What sort of ballroom? Smooth (waltz / foxtrot / tango)? Slow Latin (mainly rhumba)? Fast Latin (Mambo / samba / salsa / cha-cha-cha)? I know some people who are instructor-level ballroom dancers, and I can pass your question to them for professional advice. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/29 "2009-01-25T20:59:58Z")
That will depend on the song, but probably more smooth. Probably not Latin (he is good at it, but I think it would be harder for me, and I don’t think that most of the music I like has a Latin beat) ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/30 "2009-01-25T21:13:32Z")
Since he was in a ballroom dancing group, I’d defer to him to come up with the first suggestions. I’m sure if they don’t fit the bill, they’ll at least trigger something in his memory that will. If that doesn’t work, this website might be helpful [http://www.danceshopper.com/ballroom-dance-music](http://www.danceshopper.com/ballroom-dance-music). ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/31 "2009-01-25T21:19:36Z")
We do not want “ballroom dance music” at all. That is totally NOT what we want. We want to find a rock/pop/alternative/etc type song that one could do a ballroom dance _to_. We’re \*both \*brainstorming ideas, I just decided to come here to see if I could get suggestions or ideas from more people. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/32 "2009-01-25T21:26:44Z")
(To give a perspective, if I played all of the songs I listed in my OP, my fiancé would recognize them and like them, and will have good memories of us having danced to them before, but would never have been able to name the song, might not have ever even heard of the group, and would probably not have thought of them on his own.) ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/33 "2009-01-25T21:28:15Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > We do not want “ballroom dance music” at all. That is totally NOT what we want. We want to find a rock/pop/alternative/etc type song that one could do a ballroom dance _to_. We’re \*both \*brainstorming ideas, I just decided to come here to see if I could get suggestions or ideas from more people. But there might be something in that list of music that will be more rock/pop oriented, yet still lends itself to “couples dancing.” You’d have to listen to see what the arrangements are actually all about. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/34 "2009-01-25T21:32:06Z")
Ok, I can check it out 🙂 Thanks ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/35 "2009-01-25T21:44:37Z")
I just about wet my pants just now laughing–one of those discs has this muzak-y version of “Enter Sandman” with a brass section and some generic lounge-act singer… oh man… that’s horrible. Someone should be arrested for that. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/36 "2009-01-25T22:16:26Z")
Have you considered drawing from the vast pool of disco music from the 70s? Could be fun in a retro-y kind of way. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/37 "2009-01-25T22:37:19Z")
We did our first dance to “Bess, You Is My Woman Now” as sung by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. (And no, neither of us is African-American) It got us some odd looks, but it was really sweet and romantic. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/38 "2009-01-25T22:53:18Z")
I have considered doing something funny, but I think for our first dance we will do something more serious. That is not to say that we will not do 70s disco or even Weird Al later in the night, mind you! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2009, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/39 "2009-01-25T23:46:50Z")
> [@Oni no Maggie](#): > > We did our first dance to “Bess, You Is My Woman Now” as sung by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. (And no, neither of us is African-American) > > It got us some odd looks, but it was really sweet and romantic. I LOVE that song! What a great and romantic choice! ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722/40 "2009-01-26T04:23:19Z")
I just had a thought. “We Didn’t Start the Fire” is a cha-cha beat. I’m sure there’s other Springsteen, Joel, etc. music that works for a waltz or foxtrot. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-on-earth-do-we-find-a-first-dance-song-for-our-wedding-halp/482722.md?page=3)