# How one shops for video porn

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-one-shops-for-video-porn/200636>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [September 9, 2003, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-one-shops-for-video-porn/200636 "2003-09-09T23:57:48Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-one-shops-for-video-porn/200636/21 "2003-09-11T04:57:59Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> I would think there would be an equivalent book for straight videos, but I can’t seem to find one. (Maybe a market opportunity here?) But possibly there are so many straight porn videos, and new ones come out so fast, that it would be very hard to keep such a book up to date.

There is. The same publisher put out _The X-Rated Video Guide_. There were several volumes. As you pointed out they become dated very quickly.

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**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-one-shops-for-video-porn/200636/22 "2003-09-11T07:59:11Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by AHunter3 \*  
> \*\ ***heterosexual intercourse**  
> **lesbian sex**
> 
> OK. But what about the 30 minutes’ worth of playing with the outside of the jeans until you can see visible wet before the unzipping occurs?
> 
> **cunnilingus**
> 
> I’d really rather avoid movies with this unless it’s brief. Fingers yes, tongues no.
> 
> **fellatio**
> 
> I want a movie that doesn’t have this in it. Yuck.
> 
> **and male ejaculation**
> 
> You mean as in ‘visible geyser on screen’, yes? I want a movie that doesn’t have this in it. Yuck.
> 
> **You might see group sex**
> 
> Depends on context. Is someone getting seduced by the others?
> 
> **anal sex**
> 
> About as sexy as defragmenting my computer’s drive. Better than someone shitting, I guess. But yuck.
> 
> **gay male sex**
> 
> Again, depends on context. If it were interspersed with other scenes…and consists of things done with fingers rather than oral or anal stuff, I don’t care for oral or anal, that could be OK. Or maybe not. I don’t know.
> 
> **bondage**
> 
> Bondage could be cool. Seduction in general would be cool. Not rape, not an out-and-out unwilling person but an undecided/reluctant person aroused into participation rather than deciding to participate, yeah I’d watch that. A bit of plot development is a worthwhile development here if it contributes to seeing arousal gain on relucance.
> 
> **non-consentual sex**
> 
> See above. Violence would be gross and icky but involuntary…tickling, perhaps…  
> ::sigh:: I know, I know, TMI.  
> Am I gonna find this stuff? \*\*

I am certainly not an expert on this subject, but from what little I know, I’m thinkin’ your best bet is to have Guanolad _tailor make_ you a video. Because what you are looking for sounds to me like the porn video equivalent of an off the rack suit for a cross between a giraffe and a sea anenome.

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