If you’ve ever owned a restaurant you have to get used to employees beating the hell out of your cooking equipment. But even there the standard is to bring your own knives, and the frequently heard phrase "Don’t touch my dick, don’t touch my knife”. Even the women say this.
ROFL … or " Has anybody seen my 9" Dick? Who has my 9" Dick…?"
I’m not to overly fond of anyone except maybe my mom using my good stuff, but I’m also not overly fond of anyone in my kitchen - most people don’t know how to share the space comfortably and safely. The kids usually take turns doing dishes, but both know not to wash the cast iron. Most of my stuff is heavy duty, though, so I don’t worry too much about it when my son gets the urge to cook. He knows not to use metal utensils with non-stick, and he’s pretty careful.
(Does it make me a bad person to wonder, now that Grandmother is in the nursing home for good, when I can tactfully ask for some of her kitchen stuff? She spent many years in the restaurant business, and I covet some of her pots and pans. The other grandchildren are welcome to her jewelry when the time comes. I want the turkey roaster and such.)
Better ask now before someone beats you to it. She’ll be glad to know her kitchen stuff will be going to a good home where it will be used and cared for properly.
You’d have to know my grandmother to understand that this approach would just not work. Fortunately for me, there won’t be too many requests for the kitchen gadgets, so it’s a simple matter of waiting until the conversation about closing Grandmother’s house. I really wish it were a conversation I could have with Grandmother, though. I have already told my mom my wishes, and told my husband that I’m not buying kitchen stuff besides immediate necessities until we close up the house - I’d rather make do a bit than buy what’s in my budget right now, and there’s no way I could justify the cost of the stuff I really want. It just stinks that the good roaster is sitting dusty and unused for yet another holiday season.
Why don’t you ‘borrow’ it for the holidays?
Tempting, but I don’t want to open that can of worms! I don’t think my family is that petty, but I’d rather send the whole mess to the landfill than start any squabbles over stuff. My family is far more important to me than a few pots and knives, and sneaking anything out of the house, even intending to return it, would be too risky. OTOH, I might create an opening for myself by asking my aunt whether I could borrow it over Christmas, since I’m hosting the big family to-do this year.
That’s what I meant, of course. Borrow it legitimately. That’s exactly what I meant. 
And if it takes a while return it… Well, everyone knows where it is and that you didn’t ‘steal’ it.
The Grandma from Hell isn’t even in a nursing home, yet her antiques are already at my aunt’s and my cousin has already established on paper that she’s got dibs on the flat. My aunt didn’t ask, she just nabbed the things “oh, you won’t need this old thing any more, I’ll handle it”.
From the other side of the family, having my aunt try to claim back some old earrings of hers which Abuelita had given to me some 15 years aftr Auntie had left them behind ran directly and noisily into Abuelita’s cast-iron will, as she still was very much around and alive… I didn’t even need to lift a finger to defend my earrings 
The short and long is, better get it while she’s alive, it leads to less headaches.
As for cooking stuff, I’m grateful that my mother won’t even touch my good knives, as she doesn’t see why the heck would anybody have ceramic knives - when I found that out, I decided that from now on, any cooking knives I buy will be ceramic! Letting that woman use any knife over 2" is mistreatment of knives.
My house-sitter managed to slice the non-stick on the fried-eggs-pan by using it to fry sausages (!) and then cutting them on the pan itself (!!!11!!), but it doesn’t stick so it’s all good. He’s also managed to blacken some of my steel pans pretty badly, but all of them have cleaned up properly. He’s not worse than Mom… and he’s gone already.
I found it worth going to BJ’s and popping the $89 for the generic t-fal cheap crap well worth it - gives the idiots something to cook in so they leave the good stuff alone. Though for while I was considering putting a damned lock on the pantry I had at the last house to keep my good shit totally out of the hands of morons.
If it is a cheap pan, have at it. However, I am very picky about getting pans really clean. Now, my knives, I take very good care of them. I haven’t purchased a cheap knife in years. since I bought good knives, I haven’t purchased any knives.
Vicky
I have never been able to master taking care of cast iron pans. I can never get them seasoned right.
When we moved into our first house, we found two of the most beautifully seasoned cast iron skillets in the oven. Oh, how I wanted them, but the previous owner came back to claim them.
I so wanted to say we had disposed of them so that I could keep them, but I just couldn’t do it.
My husband does most of the cooking in our house these days. I wish he took better care of the pots, but I know when to keep my mouth shut. (contrary to the evidence on this board)
My daily pots and pans are Calphalon Unison Stainless or some such thing and are probably pretty hard to damage. They’re certainly dishwasher safe, and as long as someone doesn’t go to the garage for a power sander, I don’t think there’s anything in the house that could harm them.
The Le Creuset dutch oven relies on sheer bulk and weight to defend itself. It’s so heavy that I don’t think anyone would willingly drag it out of the cabinet.
The one thing that does concern me is the knives. Not that they’re scary expensive, but because they’re scary sharp and most people who’ve ever wanted to “help” in my kitchen have blunt knife-shaped things in their homes.
There are a number of things in the kitchen I’m very picky, some would say anal-retentive, about, but the pots and pans? Ikea 365+. Have at 'em.
My roommate is my spouse, who knows as much about cooking as about translating Russian research papers on fluid dynamics for zero gravity propulsion systems. So, they kinda hang back in the kitchen, and avoid mostly. When they do have to cook, it’s one of the 3 for $12 teflon pans on highest heat with metal spatula then into the dishwasher (they, of course, would not see why anyone would be concerned about any of that…). They don’t touch any of the other cookware, so the good stuff is fine, I really don’t have to worry about being protective.
Now, the daughter likes to cook, so I can easily pass on instructions for care and use. But she is a little intimidated by the knives, 'cause they’re really sharp. She just needs to get comfortable there.
Most of my cookware is either All-Clad Stainless or enameled cast iron of some stripe, with a 12" Lodge cast-iron skillet in there too.
I don’t really worry about them much- I dishwasher everything but the Lodge skillet, which I do the usual care too, but one time, I forgot and left it on the grill outside and had to grind the rust off and re-season it. Good as new.
If my grandmother were a reasonable person, this would be very reasonable advice…
And I know what you mean about stuff being gone and divided even before the rightful owner is finished with it. When my husband’s grandmother was moving from her big house to a smaller flat attached to my in-laws’ house, there was some redistribution of Grandmother K’s overflow. So naturally, since the three grandchildren were being offered practical household goods (being young enough that they were still establishing their own homes at the time,) the daughter-in-law helped herself to quite a bit of (impractical, but valuable) stuff, like silver and crystal and antiques.
Back to kitchenwares, though: I discovered tonight that someone (probably my son) had crammed my pancake griddle into the dishwasher, warping it to near uselessness. It’s one of those large non-stick ones that covers two burners, and wonderful for making huge batches of pancakes or grilling lots of chicken or making lots of bacon - especially since our new house has a smooth-top range with the bridge element. Damn near useless now, though, since it’s now too twisted to sit flat on the stove… Grumble, grumble.