# How safe was your first sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 11, 2012, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390 "2012-10-11T04:31:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/41 "2012-10-11T15:20:26Z")
She actually said, “No glove, no love.” In retrospect, it sort of cracked me up. Thankfully, my dad and I had had the talk. Which, in its entirely consisted of him asking me if I knew where he kept 'em. And thinking back, my first time with every new partner has required a raincoat. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/42 "2012-10-11T15:33:12Z")
Where’s the “Other” option!? My first time, the condom broke. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/43 "2012-10-11T15:40:52Z")
Part of the debate I had with the person that prompted this thread is the fact that it can be challenging enough to put a condom on in \*ideal \*conditions when you’ve got \*experience \*with it, but your first time, having never put one on before, trying to look cool/sexy/knowledgeable with your partner, stopping the hot-and-heavy action to open the wrapper, examine it, roll it…all while trying to maintain a stiffy? And then, I’m sorry, but the way a penis looks when it’s all squeezed into this tight rubber tube, especially at the tip when the air is squeezed out? It’s hard not to laugh at it \*and \*be repulsed by it. It’s ridiculous looking and grotesque looking all at once. It’s the perfect storm for disaster. I thought it would be as easy as putting on a latex glove. It wasn’t. Sending our kids out there without practice, practice, practice with using a condom is like sending a kid out to quarterback a tackle football game when the only experience he’s had is playing football on his PS3. The problem is how do you get them to practice, practice, practice without the awkwardness of that? “Son, here are 25 condoms of various sizes and colors, I want you to practice putting them on in various lighting situations, social settings, states of drunkenness, hours of the day, and locations… and make sure you do it with one hand in under 10 seconds every time. Go!” ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/44 "2012-10-11T15:42:19Z")
It accidentally slipped in. ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/45 "2012-10-11T15:47:24Z")
I think I used a condom but I don’t really remember. I remember where it happened. I know around what age it happened. I don’t remember her name. I don’t think I ever saw her again but I’m not sure about that either. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/46 "2012-10-11T15:52:49Z")
Would you like me to find you some nice pictures of syphilis chancres? Herpes lesions? Genital warts? Newborns? There’s no way to look cool with any of those, either. 😉 Want to avoid having to show your son how to put on a condom? Then support comprehensive sex education in schools and I’ll do it for you. Or take him to the doctor and wait in the waiting room. Or hand him three dozen condoms one night (and a flyer for the local clinic where s/he can get more), avoid eye contact and mumble, “I had to practice a lot before I could figure it out. Just sayin’,” and go drown your embarrassment in a couple of beers and a football game. You can’t replicate the sounds, smells, sensations et al of losing your virginity, sure. But you can learn which side rolls out and which doesn’t, and how to pinch the tip and not flip it off your dick accidentally. And not just boys - GIRLS can (and should, IMHO) learn how to put a condom on their partners (use a banana, if not a dildo) and that can actually be a \*part \*of sexyfuntime. This is your\* kid’s life we’re talking about, and you’re worried about a little “awkwardness”? Come ON! \*Generalized you, not you you, of course. And by you, I mean us, all of us who pay for unwanted children and inflated medical bills to cover the uninsured. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/47 "2012-10-11T16:22:09Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Yep. Condom, sponge and tube of spermicide. 1992. > > Got pregnant. That is one determined kid. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/48 "2012-10-11T16:42:59Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > That is one determined kid. No kidding. Do not underestimate the fertility of 17 year old girls. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/49 "2012-10-11T17:35:44Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > No kidding. Do not underestimate the fertility of 17 year old girls. also proof that multiple 99% protection items still equal 99% of protection - \ ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/50 "2012-10-11T17:49:25Z")
Fascinating how the results are pretty consistently 50-50. Neither option ever pulls ahead very significantly. ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/51 "2012-10-11T17:49:46Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > No kidding. Do not underestimate the fertility of 17 year old girls. You ain’t kidding. 1978: I was 15, she was 17, and babysitting a few blocks away when she called. I rode my bike over and one thing led to another. Quickly, and without protection. We repeated this activity for a couple of weeks until the bad news broke…:smack: She and her mom “took care of things”, I was personna non grata from then on. We remained friends, but kept at arms’ length. After that, I was like a knight going into battle; fully armored with backup supplies. Man, kids are stupid. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/52 "2012-10-11T17:51:53Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Would you like me to find you some nice pictures of syphilis chancres? Herpes lesions? Genital warts? Ummm. . .no thanks. Just refill my coffee and the check, please. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/53 "2012-10-11T17:55:19Z")
I was much safer the first time than subsequently. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/54 "2012-10-11T18:00:08Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Part of the debate I had with the person that prompted this thread is the fact that it can be challenging enough to put a condom on in \*ideal \*conditions when you’ve got \*experience \*with it, but your first time, having never put one on before, trying to look cool/sexy/knowledgeable with your partner, stopping the hot-and-heavy action to open the wrapper, examine it, roll it…all while trying to maintain a stiffy? And then, I’m sorry, but the way a penis looks when it’s all squeezed into this tight rubber tube, especially at the tip when the air is squeezed out? It’s hard not to laugh at it \*and \*be repulsed by it. It’s ridiculous looking and grotesque looking all at once. It’s the perfect storm for disaster. > > I thought it would be as easy as putting on a latex glove. It wasn’t. Sending our kids out there without practice, practice, practice with using a condom is like sending a kid out to quarterback a tackle football game when the only experience he’s had is playing football on his PS3. The problem is how do you get them to practice, practice, practice without the awkwardness of that? “Son, here are 25 condoms of various sizes and colors, I want you to practice putting them on in various lighting situations, social settings, states of drunkenness, hours of the day, and locations… and make sure you do it with one hand in under 10 seconds every time. Go!” I’ve told this story before, but I’ll drag it out again. When my daughter was in her young teens, and starting to look at boys, I knew the signs. So, she got innoculated against Hep B? I think it’s Hep B. It’s a vaccine that’s recommended for those who aren’t sexually active yet. I also got a box of condoms, and a broom. I instructed her in the proper way of putting a condom on a broom handle, complete with “you gotta leave room at the tip for the jizz” and “DON’T use your teeth, no matter how sexy it might seem” and “don’t use petroleum jelly for a lube, use a personal lubricant, that’s what they’re for, the Vaseline will compromise the condom”. Then I made her put condoms on the broom handle. She learned that she could not actually die of embarrassment, no matter how much she might want to, and also that she would not die if she touched a condom. Then I gave her the rest of the box and told her that I would buy her more at any time, no questions asked. I also told her that if she ever needed to see a doctor, I’d make an appointment, take her there, and let her see the doc alone, no questions asked, and I’d pay the bill. I had given her the most current copy available of _Our Bodies, Our Selves_ before this, and I knew that she was reading it. Or at least moving it around in her room. Occasionally I asked her if she wanted to talk about it. Nope, she didn’t. But at least I knew that she was getting accurate sex ed from that book, as opposed to hearing stuff in school, both from her classmates and in sex ed classes (I think that we had abstinence only sex ed in the schools at the time, not sure). ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/55 "2012-10-11T18:13:46Z")
It was very much NOT safe. The baby will be 43 next month. I didn’t get the clap though, so there’s that. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/56 "2012-10-11T18:34:31Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > and how to pinch the tip I thought you didn’t have to do that anymore? All recently manufactured (like, at least 10 years, possibly longer than that) condoms have a “built in” tip at the end. [This site seems to confirm:](http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/birth-control/tips/10-tips-for-using-a-condom.aspx) > [@](#): > > If the condom _does not have a reservoir tip,_ pinch the tip enough to leave a half-inch space for semen to collect. (Italics mine.) I mean…I’m sure pinching it won’t do any harm, but seems like it’s no longer 100% necessary like it used to be. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/57 "2012-10-11T18:51:30Z")
No condom, but she had an IUD. I was 18, she was 32, and the entire thing was absolutely her idea (though I was _not_ complaining!) We dated / slept together for a year and half, and she was the one who worried about birth control (she switched from an IUD to a diaphragm partway along). It was the early 80s, so AIDS wasn’t on our radar, but I naively never worried much about other STDs. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/58 "2012-10-11T18:56:41Z")
No option for my case. Dirty Deed #1 was safe because we were both 17-year old virgins (it was 1968), unsafe because of course she could have gotten pregnant that first time. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/59 "2012-10-11T18:57:04Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > I thought you didn’t have to do that anymore? All recently manufactured (like, at least 10 years, possibly longer than that) condoms have a “built in” tip at the end. They don’t all have a tip, no. Most do, but I’ve gotten some off brands that don’t, and lambskin don’t (but really, we shouldn’t be using lambskin any more, anyhow…the pores are big enough to let many viruses right through!) And even when they do have a tip, you’re supposed to \*\*[pinch the air out of the tip\*\*, so there’s no bubble to assist in rupture of the condom](http://shcs.ucdavis.edu/topics/contraception/condom_male.html). It’s a widespread recommendation, and part of the manufacturer’s directions: > **[Best Type of Condoms for Pleasure & Protection | Trojan™](https://www.trojanbrands.com/en/products/condoms)** > > Get the pleasure you want and the protection you trust with Trojan™ condoms. Find latex, lubricated, ribbed and more from the number one condom brand. [http://www.lifestyles.com/sexualhealth/Includes/pdf/lifestyles\_public\_sector\_brochure\_r12.pdf](http://www.lifestyles.com/sexualhealth/Includes/pdf/lifestyles_public_sector_brochure_r12.pdf) [http://www.durex.com/en-gb/products/pages/howtouse.aspx](http://www.durex.com/en-gb/products/pages/howtouse.aspx) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390/60 "2012-10-11T19:13:33Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > I’ve told this story before, but I’ll drag it out again. When my daughter was in her young teens, and starting to look at boys, I knew the signs. So, she got innoculated against Hep B? I think it’s Hep B. It’s a vaccine that’s recommended for those who aren’t sexually active yet. Human Papilloma Virus, I’d be guessing - aimed at reducing the likelihood of cervical cancer, not liver infection. :dubious: Reference the OP: Nothing at all. It was completely unplanned, arising out of what was supposed to be platonic bed-sharing with a woman twelve years older than my 19. If I’d put any thought into it, I’d have assumed if she was initiating stuff then she had the BC taken care of, and HIV was still years in the future. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-safe-was-your-first-sex/637390.md?page=4)