# How should a school deal with pantsing? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 28, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644 "2009-04-28T17:59:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2009, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/261 "2009-04-30T23:03:46Z")
> [@SmellMyWort](#): > > No one is going easy on anyone. The kid got a multiple-day in school suspension, and the school or kid’s parents had the option to (and may still) involve the police Maybe things are different now, but when I was in high school, a suspension was more bragging rights than punishment for chronic troublemakers, because many of them had no intention of going to college anyway. How can you even compare a few days of kicking back in the principal’s office to being hauled off in handcuffs and forced to appear before a judge. And lest you say, “but the _humiliation_ of being hauled off in handcuffs,” it’s considerably less humiliation than the girl got. > [@SmellMyWort](#): > > What about stealing? If a kid gets caught trying to steal a calculator from another kid’s locker (property is recovered), should the police be called just because that’s what would happen if the kid got caught stealing at the mall? We _did_ call the cops when some calculators got stolen (mine included), but when I was in high school, a decent calculator (TI SR50 or HP35) cost $400 or so. For today’s calculators that cost a tenth of that, I don’t know. What is the punishment for such petty theft or shoplifting these days? Don’t mall cops often deal with it in the stores without calling the police? BTW, I assume from the moniker you’re a homebrewer? ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2009, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/262 "2009-05-01T02:51:29Z")
> [@Hyperelastic](#): > > Another perfect example of a total lack of moral discernment. Pantsing = prison rape. > > What if your son was the perpetrator? Would you be in the courtroom demanding the judge throw the book at him? Psssst read the rest of that post. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2009, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/263 "2009-05-01T03:18:46Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > As pointed out by someone else in this thread, if he pantsed someone in a public area where a school administrator wasn’t around watching everyone, it’s likely the girl would have pulled her pants back up before anyone noticed. “Before anyone noticed”??? Are you serious? ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2009, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/264 "2009-05-01T15:05:10Z")
> [@InvisibleWombat](#): > > Maybe things are different now, but when I was in high school, a suspension was more bragging rights than punishment for chronic troublemakers, because many of them had no intention of going to college anyway. > > How can you even compare a few days of kicking back in the principal’s office to being hauled off in handcuffs and forced to appear before a judge. And lest you say, “but the _humiliation_ of being hauled off in handcuffs,” it’s considerably less humiliation than the girl got. > > We _did_ call the cops when some calculators got stolen (mine included), but when I was in high school, a decent calculator (TI SR50 or HP35) cost $400 or so. For today’s calculators that cost a tenth of that, I don’t know. What is the punishment for such petty theft or shoplifting these days? Don’t mall cops often deal with it in the stores without calling the police? > > BTW, I assume from the moniker you’re a homebrewer? My whole point is that it’s up to the school to determine a punishment that best fits the crime, just as the mall cop can decide to call the police if he or she thinks it’s appropriate. If the school thinks a kid won’t care about a suspension, then they have the option of dealing out some other punishment and/or calling the police. I just don’t think calling the cops should be the default action given the huge range of circumstances. Yep, homebrewer. Not as often as I’d like to though. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2009, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/265 "2009-05-01T17:11:45Z")
> [@SmellMyWort](#): > > My whole point is that it’s up to the school to determine a punishment that best fits the crime, just as the mall cop can decide to call the police if he or she thinks it’s appropriate. Why do you believe that? We’re not talking about shoplifting here. We’re talking about direct assault by a legal adult on a minor (if you are a lawyer, please substitute the word “battery” for “assault” in that sentence). Do you want kids saying, “I shouldn’t go rip some clothing off of that girl in the park because I might go to jail. I think I’ll do it at school, where they’ll just let me kick back in the principal’s office for a few days.” Schools should not be a haven for inappropriate behavior. ---
**Author:** ![schnuckiputzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@schnuckiputzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schnuckiputzi)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/266 "2009-05-01T19:19:56Z")
I have taught junior high and high school kids for 12 years. Yes, I teach in a private school. And I would be horrified to see a boy pants a girl. I would probably be fired, because I would light into him like a hurricane. I don’t put up with any bullying, and I try to be open and alert to signs of it in my building. Some 16 yr. old girls I know would probably have laid him out if any guy tried it, and some would have been mortified enough to change schools. No one should be allowed to pick on someone else, no matter if it’s sexual or not. At the very least, that boy would be red as a beet and cringing from the tongue-lashing he got, and that would be _before_ I turned him into the school office. At our school, he would be expelled. Period. ---
**Author:** ![sunacres](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@sunacres](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunacres)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2009, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/267 "2009-05-02T04:49:17Z")
I teach high school, and I have teen daughters, and you people are all out of your minds. Foam and spittle over pantsing? Good grief. ---
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2009, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/268 "2009-05-02T05:28:58Z")
> [@sunacres](#): > > I teach high school, and I have teen daughters, and you people are all out of your minds. Foam and spittle over pantsing? Good grief. Hear, hear… I was pantsed in 7th grade choir, while I was getting a drink at the fountain. Among the bullying and pressure I put up with, this didn’t even ping my radar. It is no big deal, and it is not, IMO, sexual in nature. It’s just legs, for goodness sake. And even if the “victim” is going underwear-free, it’s still just nudity. Nudity does not equal sex, and anyone who teaches their kids that is weird and repressed. ---
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2009, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/269 "2009-05-02T05:35:57Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > And if your hypothetical daughter DIDN’T say that? What if she cried about it? I’m not trying to be all, “what about the CHILDREN!!!” I’m genuinely asking: what if she was truly upset, crying, etc.? Would you still not “give it anymore thought?” > > Just curious. I have a real daughter, who’s 13. If she came home crying about exactly this, I would comfort her, then point out it’s no big deal. If she continued to freak out, I would probably put her into counseling so we can figure out why the hell she’s such a delicate flower and drama queen. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2009, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/270 "2009-05-02T05:42:31Z")
My uncles pantsed me all the time… =( But it was more in jest, and a quick tug and then laughter, only maybe twice have I actually not reacted quick enough and was pantsed. It just taught me to be on my guard better for next time. I’ve pantsed my ex. Though that wasn’t in a public setting. But still, I view it as silly behavior amongst friends/acquaintances, but it’s probably because of the way I was brought up (being pantsed by my own family member). I’ve fake pantsed my sister a few times (where you tug, but you don’t actually intend to drop the pants at all, but it freaks them out), as has the same uncles who’ve pantsed me. The whole point of pantsing usually is to freak them out, and NOT to drop their pants, but you give it a quick tug to scare 'em. Your pantsing tactics though may vary I suppose in order for you to consider it assault, sexual abuse, or anything like that I suppose. Perhaps others had more negative associations with being pantsed. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2009, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/271 "2009-05-02T08:12:22Z")
> [@Sateryn76](#): > > I have a real daughter, who’s 13. If she came home crying about exactly this, I would comfort her, then point out it’s no big deal. If she continued to freak out, I would probably put her into counseling so we can figure out why the hell she’s such a delicate flower and drama queen. What if she were overweight, and afterwards, everyone in the school was talking about how fat and disgusting her ass was? Or what if she hadn’t trimmed her pubic hair, and now the whole school knew it and was discussing the state of her nasty crotch? What if someone with a camera phone took a picture and your daughter’s pre-teen ass was posted on the internet? None of these scenarios takes a leap of imagination to envision in a secondary school, nor does it take a huge amount of compassion to realize that a person who was upset by it was not overrreacting. There are plenty of reasons why a person might be humiliated in this situation that have nothing to do with being a “delicate flower and a drama queen.” You, in fact, sound like somewhat of a drama queen by saying that anyone who might be upset by this needs therapy, for god’s sake. They’re teenagers. Being humiliated in front of their peers is their greatest fear. Not sure why that’s so hard to understand. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2009, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/272 "2009-05-02T08:26:55Z")
> [@sunacres](#): > > I teach high school, and I have teen daughters, and you people are all out of your minds. Foam and spittle over pantsing? Good grief. Exactly. I tried getting involved in the discussion but quickly realised I was never going to get anywhere. I thought my comment about half the males in a school would have assault charges against them would help some see light, but no. I’d put money on the girl referenced in the OP having completely got over it and not giving a crap. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2009, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/273 "2009-05-02T09:10:40Z")
> [@Sateryn76](#): > > I have a real daughter, who’s 13. If she came home crying about exactly this, I would comfort her, then point out it’s no big deal. If she continued to freak out, I would probably put her into counseling so we can figure out why the hell she’s such a delicate flower and drama queen. Well _there’s_ a healthy lesson: if you find the removal of your trousers without your permission distressing, you’d better not show it, or mommy and daddy will decide there’s something wrong with you and put you into counselling to find out what that is. ---
**Author:** ![Missing\_Inaction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Missing\_Inaction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missing_Inaction)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2009, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/274 "2009-05-02T11:37:05Z")
This is one of those awkward grey areas where I think some kind of ingenious non damaging form of fearsome corporal punishment a la waterboarding should be reserved for first time offenders. Repeat offenders should get the book. ---
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2009, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/275 "2009-05-02T14:52:18Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > What if she were overweight, and afterwards, everyone in the school was talking about how fat and disgusting her ass was? Or what if she hadn’t trimmed her pubic hair, and now the whole school knew it and was discussing the state of her nasty crotch? What if someone with a camera phone took a picture and your daughter’s pre-teen ass was posted on the internet? None of these scenarios takes a leap of imagination to envision in a secondary school, nor does it take a huge amount of compassion to realize that a person who was upset by it was not overrreacting. > > There are plenty of reasons why a person might be humiliated in this situation that have nothing to do with being a “delicate flower and a drama queen.” You, in fact, sound like somewhat of a drama queen by saying that anyone who might be upset by this needs therapy, for god’s sake. They’re teenagers. Being humiliated in front of their peers is their greatest fear. Not sure why that’s so hard to understand. Okay, guys, I wouldn’t actually put her in therapy - it was just a little snark, because upthread someone had suggested a “victim” of this might need therapy to avoid a lifetime of sexual issues (paraphrasing). I put up with some of the most humiliating, bullying treatment you can imagine that wasn’t outright beatings - say, the time the bus driver had to pull over because everyone on the bus was chanting “Afro!” at me due to an unfortunate perm. That was in sixth grade, and the bad times continued all throughout my teen years. But, my mom taught me to ignore it. Yes, even when I would come home in tears and beg to be transferred, she would sympathize, then teach me to ignore it, and to pay attention to the good things I had going on elsewhere in my life - I was good student, I had a loving family and many satisfying hobbies. I have no doubt that, if my mother ever heard about something dangerous going on, either sexually or other, she would have taken immediate action, but the rest…well, she taught me to define what was really important. I believe this has led to me being a happy, well-adjusted adult, who doesn’t sweat the small stuff, isn’t permanently scarred by a lousy teenage experience, with a good marriage, good friends, and fine children of my own. I am often surprised at how much emotional baggage people carry, from seemingly small and inconsequential events. I think that something like this is why - people are actually talking about calling the police for sexual battery over this? To me that seems crazy, and potentially damaging not only to the boy, but to the girl as well. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/276 "2009-05-02T16:15:44Z")
> [@Sateryn76](#): > > Okay, guys, I wouldn’t actually put her in therapy - it was just a little snark, because upthread someone had suggested a “victim” of this might need therapy to avoid a lifetime of sexual issues (paraphrasing). I think that person was being sarcastic. > [@](#): > > But, my mom taught me to ignore it. My mom was similar to yours. She didn’t coddle me when I was upset about teenage bullshit. I do think she would have taken me being pantsed pretty damn seriously, esp. if I was really upset about it. That goes beyond the sticks-and-stones level into unwanted touching and possibly very public humiliation. I’d think most parents would be appalled to hear their daughter’s pants got pulled down in public, but I guess I was wrong about that. For those comparing this to a boy being pantsed, there is one major difference here: most boys wear boxers (I know this because half of them have their underwear showing 3" above their pants). Being pantsed while wearing boxers is not the same thing as being pantsed while wearing panties or a thong. Now, if a boy were pantsed while wearing some serious tighty whities, yes, I’d say the humiliation factor would be the same. > [@](#): > > Yes, even when I would come home in tears and beg to be transferred, she would sympathize, then teach me to ignore it, and to pay attention to the good things I had going on elsewhere in my life - I was good student, I had a loving family and many satisfying hobbies. It’s amazing to me that this rational approach worked on you. When my mother would say that to me, when I was a teenager, I felt like she just did not understand how I was feeling. That’s a pretty typical teen reaction to parental minimizing of emotional “trauma.” But of course, when someone actually tried to hurt me, she realized it and took action. She was a lot more on the ball than I gave her credit for at the time. Ain’t that always the way? > [@](#): > > I am often surprised at how much emotional baggage people carry, from seemingly small and inconsequential events. I think that something like this is why - people are actually talking about calling the police for sexual battery over this? To me that seems crazy, and potentially damaging not only to the boy, but to the girl as well. It really, really depends on how the girl felt about it and her relationship to the boy in question, don’t you think? If he was her friend, then maybe it was just a harmless prank. If he was someone who had been bullying her regularly, maybe in a sexual way even, then this becomes more sinister, doesn’t it? I don’t think it should be dismissed out of hand as a harmless prank, nor should it automatically be assumed to be a horrendous sexual assault either. Context is everything, and we don’t have that. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2009, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/277 "2009-05-03T06:02:55Z")
> [@SmellMyWort](#): > > This is not a case of sexual assault and I’d be willing to bet that a kid in grade school would not be suspended or expelled. But it’s not in grade school, it’s in high school. This is not “just a thing kids do,” it is sexual assault. If you are so insensitive that you don’t understand what this does to a teen-age girl, I have to assume you have had absolutely no contact with teen-agers in a very long time. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2009, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/278 "2009-05-03T06:15:21Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > What if she were overweight, and afterwards, everyone in the school was talking about how fat and disgusting her ass was? Or what if she hadn’t trimmed her pubic hair, and now the whole school knew it and was discussing the state of her nasty crotch? This was seriously posted as justification for having a boy imprisoned. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2009, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/279 "2009-05-03T06:17:14Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > This was seriously posted as justification for having a boy imprisoned. No, it seriously wasn’t. Try reading the exchange. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2009, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/280 "2009-05-03T06:48:40Z")
You were talking about how being pantsed might humiliate the recipient of the pantsing. The OP asks what a school should do when someone is pantsed. So why would you bring that up if not to relate it to the question asked in the OP? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644.md?page=15)