# How should a school deal with pantsing? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 28, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644 "2009-04-28T17:59:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/101 "2009-04-29T04:28:16Z")
We don’t know enough about the situation. On one hand, it could be a friend giving a tug to the waistband during some friendly horsing around. On the other hand, it could be a couple of strangers holding down a screaming, crying girl and peeling her clothes off. One obviously calls for a different response than the other. If it is like the latter situation, though, I really do thinking involving the police is called for. As for the “some little girl cried” comment- man! Would you say the same thing if some guys at a bar held your wife down, tore her clothes off, and left her there crying? ---
**Author:** ![Terraplane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Terraplane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terraplane)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/102 "2009-04-29T05:16:34Z")
At the very least I’d hope his school expels him. I can’t think of a single reason why a school district would tolerate something like that under any circumstances. My school wasn’t terribly strict but pulling somebody’s clothes off for laughs would have brought the hammer down pretty quick. Beyond that I think he should be charged with assault. Let the court system decide. Maybe there’s some extenuating circumstance that makes it ok for an 18 year old to pull down a 16 year old girl’s pants against her will and make her cry, I can’t imagine what that would be but maybe I’m just lacking in imagination. If I’m on the jury I’m all ears because this is going to be one damned interesting explanation. And btw, this problem exists no matter how you mix or match the genders. There is some shit you just don’t do, and if you don’t understand that you are such a stupid son of a bitch that a hard lesson is the only kind you’ll ever learn. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/103 "2009-04-29T05:42:00Z")
Shows on Nickelodeon and the Disney Channel (both animated and Live Action) have had pantsing in them. As a general rule it’s considered on the lower end of pranks. I remember one show even jokes about the absurd “pantsed the entire auditorium” situation. Now I know TV != real life, but if “family entertainment” pop culture works it in now and then I really don’t think it qualified as a major offense that “at the very least[…] his school [should] expel him.” Now I have nothing against a one week in-house suspension, or the police scaring the living daylights out of him with a firm talk (unless, again, this is part of an ongoing cycle of terror this guy brings on the school), hell, I suppose I wouldn’t even mind a crapload of community service for battery charges. Of course, there’s always a major difference between what rules say and how they’re enforced. My school handbook would have technically allowed me all manner of harmful devices at school (loopholes abound) but if I were to bring them I’d be dead. On the other hand my friend did tricks with a butterfly knife (and those are big suckers) while walking to class and neither the monitors nor the administration nor the school safety officer looked twice. Now yes, it gets into murkier territory when it involves another person and potential hurt feelings but pantsing is still pretty weak as far as this stuff goes. It’s not even up there on the level of “malicious gossip” as far as trashing someones reputation can go. I doubt if he gets off easy with a few days being lectured by Mr. Rob the safety officer there’s going to be any widespread paranoia that the school condones it and their pants could come off any second. Now if it becomes a continuing problem, yes, pull out all the stops, but a random pantsing? Come on. And I agree that it heavily depends what side of the scale it lies on “holding her down and peeling off her close while she was crying” or “Gentle reflexive sob from embarrassment with a quick tug on some loose pants.” We need some more information to assess the situation. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/104 "2009-04-29T08:20:11Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Speaking as a teacher, I think this is a bad idea, for four reasons: > > 1. The girl in question is going to be under tremendous social pressure from her peers to laugh it off as if it’s no big deal, unless high school has changed a lot from my days. If it really is a big deal to her–if she felt humiliated by the incident and feels unsafe–she’s likely not to say anything, for fear of even more stress. But if she sees the bully get off with a hand slap, that’s going to make her feel even more unsafe, making her school experience for the next few years that much more miserable. > 2. Other potential victims of pantsing, especially folks for whom this would be humiliating, will similarly feel unsafe at school if they know that their clothes can be pulled down with very little penalty. The ripple effects of this may be significant. > 3. If we treat the boy in question like a child, that means we need to be teaching him still–and it’s a terrible lesson to teach him that he can engage in illegal public humiliations of other people with impunity. It sounds as though he desperately needs a lesson in the fact that his actions have serious consequences > 4. Other potential perpetrators of pantsing will also be watching what happens to this boy. If they see that they can get away with this kind of bullying, that’s a terrible lesson to teach them as well. I think that these are very good points. By not punishing the guy, the school sets up an environment that is conducive to further “pranks” like this. Maybe it’s not sexual assault, but it most certainly IS sexual harassment. I would have been terrified about this sort of thing when I was in my teens. I think that the fourth point really needs to be emphasized…if Captain Underpants doesn’t get a pretty serious punishment, I predict a fad of boys pantsing girls in that school, and competitions as to who can pants the greatest number of girls. The OP said, in a later post, that this guy is a bit of a bully. He probably doesn’t understand or doesn’t care about boundary issues. He needs to learn NOW. A one hour suspension is not nearly serious enough. I think that he needs some community service hours, at least. I’m curious as to what sort of punishment he’d get if he pantsed this same girl in a mall, say. Somewhere in public, with his and her peers around? I think he should get at least the same amount of punishment for doing this at school. Part of what makes this harassment is that he embarrassed her in front of people she has to interact with every day. She knows that they all saw her get assaulted, they all saw her undies, and most of all, they all saw her helpless and crying. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/105 "2009-04-29T08:34:42Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I wonder what if it wasn’t a girl he pantsed. What if it were a prank on one of his teammates on the basketball squad? Would it matter? I have to echo this question. Would this situation be different if he pantsed another guy? What if he pantsed a 16 year old male student? Would he deserve to be punished in the same way? ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/106 "2009-04-29T08:36:03Z")
Could the pantser be put into some sort of sexual harrasment workshop or learn more about boundaries this way? Yeah - he needs to be punished, but it would be good if he actually learnt why what he did was wrong. There are too many details missing here to decide on how bad the fault was. Were the two friends? Was it more towards the scale of intimidating bullying or friends horsing around (and there is a difference). Was flesh seen? Were panties seen? Was the girl wearing a dress with pants underneath? I can remember being pantsed in school - underwear didn’t come down, but in any case shirt tails were below anything that would have been visible. I have also been reminded of the time that I got full pantsed at about 16, in front of a female teacher - for me no lasting results at all. On the same school trip one girl (that got drunk on smuggled bourbon) can and took a look at me in the shower (followed by most of the class) a bit embarrassing as I was semi turgid. But hey - at least she said “it was bigger than I expected”. Again no long term damage (or even short term) I was only reminded because of this thread. (not that my reactions reflect the girl in question of course, and I am a guy) ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/107 "2009-04-29T09:05:52Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > What if he pantsed a 16 year old male student? Would he deserve to be punished in the same way? In my opinion, yes. ---
**Author:** ![firstname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ab992/32.png) [@firstname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/firstname)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/108 "2009-04-29T09:48:45Z")
Unless there are details I’ve missed, there is no possible way to judge this. Are the two people involved friends? Has this been an ongoing game or was it unprovoked? When i was in high school there was about 2 weeks, when pantsing people was ‘the’ prank to pull. There was certainly no thought that it was sexual harassment. In that case though there was a lot of back and forth between a group of 10 odd people (male and female). ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/109 "2009-04-29T10:38:58Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > As for the “some little girl cried” comment- man! Would you say the same thing if some guys at a bar held your wife down, tore her clothes off, and left her there crying? I ask again, why in a thread about someone being pantsed do some some people instantly make the leap to _gang rape_? Do you wonder why I think all you people are insane? That’s why. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/110 "2009-04-29T10:45:02Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > In my opinion, yes. And if the pantser/pantsee were both 20 year old Fraternity brothers? ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/111 "2009-04-29T10:46:03Z")
Yikes. Not to minimise the severity of what _actually_ transpired, but when I read the OP’s title I was still in British English mode. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/112 "2009-04-29T11:26:53Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > Was she wearing granny panties? The punishment should be worse if he exposed her granny panties. I don’t think any teenage girl would ever voluntarily wear granny panties. They don’t come in that small a size now. Back in the day, the choice was granny panties or Days of the Week Undies ( which my mom never ever bought for me and I have suffered horribly for it!!!1!!!) Naturally, when I was old enough to buy my own grundies, I bought thongs. ( Before THONGS WERE POPULAR. bastids. ) ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/113 "2009-04-29T12:19:04Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > I ask again, why in a thread about someone being pantsed do some some people instantly make the leap to _gang rape_? Do you wonder why I think all you people are insane? That’s why. No one is saying that anyone rapes your wife - they are ‘just’ removing her clothes involuntarily in public. (No, punishment shouldn’t be any different if its male on male sexual harassment - you do not remove someone else’s pants in public. You don’t remove your OWN pants in public - outside of the locker room). Here is another question - if this guy is willing to pull down a girl’s pants in front of witnesses at school, what is this guy willing to do to a girl when there aren’t witnesses in private ‘all in fun?’ ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/114 "2009-04-29T12:36:11Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > I’m curious to hear more form **KRM** about how she and her son discussed this. How big of a deal does **KRM** think this is, and how big of a deal does she think it is that her son doesn’t? I am still undecided on how big a deal I think this was because I don’t have all of the details either. When I questioned my son (I’m his father, not his mother BTW) I received multiple shrugs and several “I don’t knows”. He didn’t seem to want to talk about it but that’s not uncommon with him. I’m certain that he got the message that IMHO, this is a serious matter. I don’t know if the 2 students were friends. It is a small school, so they certainly knew each other. What their relationship was more than that, I can’t say. FWIW, the school gave the boy in-school-detention. This typically lasts for a few days but I don’t know the specifics in this case. I believe that he is also ineligible to participate in athletics while serving ISD. I think that that would hit him harder than ISD will. As for any police involvement, that seems to be up to the parents at this point. ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/115 "2009-04-29T12:52:28Z")
Just pointing out that the school doesn’t get to decide what the charge is. The school should call the police, and the police decide what the charge is, and it will depend on local laws. The school probably calls the police for physical fights and drug possession from time to time. Handle this the same way. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/116 "2009-04-29T13:28:53Z")
> [@KRM](#): > > When I questioned my son (I’m his father, not his mother BTW) I received multiple shrugs and several “I don’t knows”. He didn’t seem to want to talk about it but that’s not uncommon with him. I’m certain that he got the message that IMHO, this is a serious matter. Sorry about the gender confusion! Not to belabor a point, but does he understand WHY you think it is a serious matter? (For that matter, I’m not sure you have explained here WHY you feel it is a serious matter.) Does he AGREE with you that it is a serious matter? If not, do you think THAT merits further discussion between you and your kid? [QUOTE=Shirley] I don’t think any teenage girl would ever voluntarily wear granny panties. They don’t come in that small a size now. [/QUOTE] Well, I do my share of the laundry around our house, and can attest that my 17 and 21 year olds exclusively wear conservative jocky-style undies. No lace or thongs to be found. Their preference and purchases, not mine or their mom’s. And I recall when the eldest went on a high school band trip, and she was extremely upset that one bitch she was sharing a room with saw fit to mock my daughter’s underwear choices in front of several members of the band. You might want to be aware of not assuming that everyone shares your personal preferences. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/117 "2009-04-29T13:32:57Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > Well, I do my share of the laundry around our house, and can attest that my 17 and 21 year olds exclusively wear conservative jocky-style undies. No lace or thongs to be found. Their preference and purchases, not mine or their mom’s. > > And I recall when the eldest went on a high school band trip, and she was extremely upset that one bitch she was sharing a room with saw fit to mock my daughter’s underwear choices in front of several members of the band. You might want to be aware of not assuming that everyone shares your personal preferences. And even for those that perfer a smaller panty - many women have ‘that time of the month undies’- that are often significantly less attractive. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/118 "2009-04-29T13:58:21Z")
I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around why people think the age difference is a big deal. “He’s a fully grown man who practically raped a defenseless little girl!” Math quiz for the numerically impaired: 18 - 16 = ? (Hint: It’s not eleventy bajillion.) ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/119 "2009-04-29T14:07:41Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Math quiz for the numerically impaired: 18 - 16 = ? (Hint: It’s not eleventy bajillion.) It’s also entirely possible/likely that these two are both Juniors, with him being left back and having an early in the year birthday and her being at grade level with a later in the year birthday. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2009, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644/120 "2009-04-29T14:10:10Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around why people think the age difference is a big deal. “He’s a fully grown man who practically raped a defenseless little girl!” > > Math quiz for the numerically impaired: 18 - 16 = ? (Hint: It’s not eleventy bajillion.) He is a legal adult who allegedly committed an act which may be sexual assault in this jurisdiction against a minor. The number of years between them being a “big deal” or not would come into play if the act were consensual (i.e. at least here, an eighteen year old can have a sixteen year old girlfriend). There isn’t anything magic about his age or hers, except that it to me it indicates that this guy has almost no sense of what might get him in trouble or interest in avoiding trouble. Which, if he’s been constantly given a break because of his poor home situation, is understandable - but he isn’t likely to continue to get a break forever due to it - and it might be time to make that point before someone ends up date raped and he is looking at serious sexual assault charges (or he takes a car joy riding, or he buys minors alcohol and lets them drive, or some other ‘just in fun’ prank that could see him doing serious jail time.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-a-school-deal-with-pantsing/494644.md?page=7)