How should I die?

[commasense]

Here are some ideas of how people (and turkeys) might die.

This turkey was killed by hand with a sharp knife

That was on the label of the turkey I cooked last Christmas dinner. I wonder if they put all the causes of death on each and every turkey. I’d like to go down to the packaging plant one day and read all the labels. Oh the humanity. “This turkey died of a heart attack while sitting at home and watching TV” “This turkey was killed in a drive-by shooting by a rival chicken gang” “This turkey died by misadventure in a sky-diving accident when his primary shoot failed to open” “This turkey drowne…