# How should I feel, rude or grateful? - a bar story **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 1, 2007, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206 "2007-03-01T20:23:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/1 "2007-03-01T20:23:09Z")
Ok, So I’m at the bar three days ago drinking my favorite cocktail currently, the Blue Lagoon. It’s 3 parts vodka, 1 part blue curacao, and pineapple juice. I like it because it looks like a fou-fou drink but actually packs a fairly hefty punch. So the bar is pretty quiet and I’m just chitchatting with the bartender when this guy in his 30’s sits down. Definitely from New York by the looks of him and how he talked to the bartender. So, he looks over at me and my drink and immediately gets this expression on his face like somebody just pissed on his grandmother or something. Or that he just had a sour cream enema. I mean, it wasn’t hatred but more like a complete revulsion. He breaks the silence and says “no way you’re drinking that man” I go… “excuse me, but I am most certainly drinking it, as I find that’s the best way to enjoy a cocktail” He goes on to lecture me about how men should not drink anything of the color blue. He says it’s against the man code, yada yada yada. I’m fairly irked off now, but I figure w/e it’s a bar, assholes abound. Here’s where things get interesting. He insists I chug my blue lagoon and he’ll buy me a whiskey. I must chug my drink though, to regain my honor as a man. If I dont chug it, I dont get the free drink. Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I chug it and tell him to make good on his end of the bargain. He proceeds to buy me a whiskey of which brand I cant recall, but it was around the 10-15 dollar range and was very smooth. Not shitty whisky, by any means. So, we talk and shoot the shit and everyone goes home happy. My question is this: The way he criticized my drink and haranagued me about something I think he had no right to do so about, was very rude IMHO. However, on the other side of the coin, he bought me a nice drink. So, in retrospect, should I think he was rude or not rude? I guess it’s not really an important decision, but damnit, it’s bugging me. Regards, Auto ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/2 "2007-03-01T20:27:32Z")
You claim to be a man, yet you’ve been obsessing for three days about a stranger criticizing your choice of girly cocktails? Maybe you should consider it some more while you sulk over a nice appletini. Seriously, though, who cares? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/3 "2007-03-01T20:28:44Z")
He was rude. If he were to be nice, he would have offered to give you a blow job in addition to buying you a drink. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/4 "2007-03-01T20:29:43Z")
My wild-assed guess is that he was trying to be funny by ribbing you about the girl drink, and when he realized you weren’t laughing, offered to buy you a whiskey to make up for it. Either that, or he was hitting on you. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/5 "2007-03-01T20:31:33Z")
He was rude. That you took up his offer, and chugged your drink, doesn’t say much on your end though. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/6 "2007-03-01T20:36:16Z")
I will learn to read before posting ---
**Author:** ![samm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@samm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samm)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/7 "2007-03-01T20:38:29Z")
Get the Blue Lagoon made with Triple Sec for the same flavor but less girlishness. The guy was trying to do you a favor. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/8 "2007-03-01T20:42:22Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] My wild-assed guess is that he was trying to be funny by ribbing you about the girl drink, and when he realized you weren’t laughing, offered to buy you a whiskey to make up for it. Either that, or he was hitting on you. [/QUOTE] Seconded. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/9 "2007-03-01T20:44:17Z")
Did it have an umbrella in it? If so, he was right to give you crap. OTOH, Romulan Ale is blue, and it is indeed a manly drink. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/10 "2007-03-01T20:56:01Z")
I might be feeling a little more surly than usual these days, but what I am drinking or eating is no one else’s goddamn business until such time as I force YOU to eat it. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/11 "2007-03-01T21:01:35Z")
He was giving you some friendly shit. It’s a good thing that you don’t work where I do or you’d be running out the door crying within a week. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/12 "2007-03-01T21:05:43Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] I might be feeling a little more surly than usual these days, but what I am drinking or eating is no one else’s goddamn business until such time as I force YOU to eat it. [/QUOTE] If you’re sitting at the bar, you’re fair game for whatever commentary comes your way. You can be left alone at a table. I’m pretty sure **Miller** has teh correct interpretation of the incident, though. **Autolycus** , do you mean the whiskey was $10-15 a glass? If so, he more than made it up to you. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/13 "2007-03-01T21:10:35Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] Did it have an umbrella in it? If so, he was right to give you crap. OTOH, Romulan Ale is blue, and it is indeed a manly drink. [/QUOTE] No that just makes you girly AND a big nerd. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/14 "2007-03-01T21:18:12Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] My wild-assed guess is that he was trying to be funny by ribbing you about the girl drink, and when he realized you weren’t laughing, offered to buy you a whiskey to make up for it. Either that, or he was hitting on you. [/QUOTE] Thirded! And I think the Blue Lagoon sounds like a lovely drink. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/15 "2007-03-01T21:22:31Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] If you’re sitting at the bar, you’re fair game for whatever commentary comes your way. You can be left alone at a table. [/QUOTE] I don’t go to bars - is this the understanding? I can’t see how what I drink is anyone else’s business, so I would have refused his offer. Plus chugging a drink like that would probably make me ralph. Kind of an odd exchange, though. It would not have occured to me that he might be hitting on you. Did you get that vibe? Is that a common pick-up line? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/16 "2007-03-01T21:23:25Z")
[QUOTE=Shodan] I don’t go to bars - is this the understanding? I can’t see how what I drink is anyone else’s business, so I would have refused his offer. Plus chugging a drink like that would probably make me ralph. Kind of an odd exchange, though. It would not have occured to me that he might be hitting on you. Did you get that vibe? Is that a common pick-up line? Regards, Shodan [/QUOTE] He’s looking for an excuse to buy him a drink? I dunno. But yeah, this might be one of the things that come to mind. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/17 "2007-03-01T21:31:21Z")
So, if he had given you $500 to not drink a Blue Lagoon for two years, would you have taken him up on it? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/18 "2007-03-01T21:34:44Z")
I can see how “Let me buy you a drink” is a come-on, but not prefaced by “You are drinking a girly drink!” Although the “I’ll buy you another if you chug it” could well have been a crude attempt to get him drunk and susceptible. I have never successfully picked up a person of any sort in a bar, but if I wanted to, that would not be my _modus operandi_. For whatever _that_ is worth. I would try something like “Hi, I’m **Shodan** - what’s the most interesting book you last read?” That way I can tell if they read, and have a subject of conversation if they do. Like I said, my experience with picking up people in bars is one with Nineveh and Tyre, but perhaps others with more experience could say if this was what was going on. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/19 "2007-03-01T21:39:09Z")
Before I got to the second sentence, I was thinking “what a girly drink”. You’re losing cool points for that; you better come back with a good tale about your stative verb-challenged boss to make up for it. Some guys get talkative at bars (not me, though - I drink in silence unless it is a sports bar or a cute girl, and if it’s the latter, I just trip over my tongue). Most guys are about as sensitive as coarse sandpaper. The girly drink was the icebreaker, the challenge sized you up, you acquitted yourself well, and he had a buddy for the evening. Had you snubbed him, he likely would have looked for someone else. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2007, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206/20 "2007-03-01T21:48:21Z")
[QUOTE=Shodan] I can see how “Let me buy you a drink” is a come-on, but not prefaced by “You are drinking a girly drink!” [/QUOTE] Maybe he was hoping **Autolycus** would respond with, “I’m a girly kind of guy.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-feel-rude-or-grateful-a-bar-story/394206.md?page=2)