# How should I honor my friend's 10th anniversary of sobriety? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 2, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367 "2005-08-02T22:20:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/1 "2005-08-02T22:20:16Z")
This month a close friend of mine will have been sober 10 years. (I’ve known him for about 12 years.) I’d like to commemorate the occasion somehow. What do you think would be appropriate? A gift? (No jokes about fine wine or good scotch, please.) A letter? A donation to an organization that supports recovery in some way? Unfortunately I can’t spend time with my friend in person, as we’re 3000 miles apart. Any advice or anecdotes welcome. Thanks in advance, E. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2005, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/2 "2005-08-02T22:33:44Z")
All I can suggest is to send a “congratulations” card. Ordinarily, I’d suggest that you take him to dinner, but that’s obviously not feasible given the distances involved. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/3 "2005-08-03T00:15:54Z")
Go to a local recovery store, by him a 10 year Sobriety Coin, drop it in an envelope and write a little note. That would be a great recognition gift! ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/4 "2005-08-03T00:55:31Z")
I was just going to suggest a very nice 10 year chip. Gold (colored!) or enameled ones are very pretty. Congrats to your “double-digit midget” friend, BTW- I will be “15” soon and it’s a miracle! ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/5 "2005-08-03T00:57:07Z")
In case you’re not familiar with them, there are stores that sell stuff to support recovery. They are often combined with other spiritual-type stuff. Worst-case scenario- call the AA central office nearest you, explain what you’re looking for and ask for a suggestion. AA doesn’t sell chips but we usually know who does! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/6 "2005-08-03T01:44:21Z")
I really like the coin idea. Another one is to make a monetary contribution in his name to a local (his local) recovery program and let him know what you’ve done in a congratulations card. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/7 "2005-08-03T08:08:40Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > I really like the coin idea. > > Another one is to make a monetary contribution in his name to a local (his local) recovery program and let him know what you’ve done in a congratulations card. AA is pretty much the only game out there, and they pride themselves in being self-sufficient. They don’t take donations. A hospital, on the other hand, might take a donation. ---
**Author:** ![Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Licentious_Ectomorph)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/8 "2005-08-03T12:15:56Z")
I’d say it calls for a keg party! 😃 That was in poor taste, I know. Sorry. I just had to. ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/9 "2005-08-03T12:18:15Z")
My mum was “ten” last year. I got her a Serenity prayer pendant (and took her out for a meal, but obviously you can’t do that). ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/10 "2005-08-03T13:27:33Z")
A chip would be good, or if you can get to a store that has 12-step goodies you might find something else. If you could, my first thought would be to go out for dinner or something but it sounds like that’s not possible. Drat. Oh, and congratulations to your friend! ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/11 "2005-08-03T14:55:40Z")
Thank you all for the suggestions. I like the idea of a sobriety coin/chip. If I can find a recovery store (I had no idea there was such a thing; if I can’t find one myself I’ll check with AA), I’ll go with that. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/12 "2005-08-03T15:13:17Z")
> [@Licentious Ectomorph](#): > > I’d say it calls for a keg party! 😃 > > That was in poor taste, I know. Sorry. I just had to. Well, I was going to suggest a night of boozing… ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/13 "2005-08-03T16:01:46Z")
**E.Thorp** [here](http://www.twelvestepshop.com/) is a 12 step shop in Seattle that has coins and recovery stuff. Enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/14 "2005-08-03T17:40:53Z")
**Phlosphr** , thanks for the tip! As it happens I’ll be in that neighborhood today, so I’ll check it out. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/15 "2005-08-03T17:46:00Z")
Would it be possible to call? A small gift is a good idea, but I know that if I were in that situation, someone calling me and telling me that they care about me and are proud of me would mean more. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/16 "2005-08-03T18:08:40Z")
> [@E. Thorp](#): > > This month a close friend of mine will have been sober 10 years. (I’ve known him for about 12 years.) > > (No jokes about fine wine or good scotch, please.) E. I opened this thread because as soon as I read the title, I said to myself "Oh boy, how many posts before someone suggest alcohol? ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/17 "2005-08-03T18:56:00Z")
> [@fluiddruid](#): > > Would it be possible to call? A small gift is a good idea, but I know that if I were in that situation, someone calling me and telling me that they care about me and are proud of me would mean more. Oh, yes, I am certainly planning to do this. > [@Enright3](#): > > I opened this thread because as soon as I read the title, I said to myself "Oh boy, how many posts before someone suggest alcohol? Well, it was the first thing _I_ thought of. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/18 "2005-08-03T19:18:55Z")
The OP states sobriety, not being teetotal, so alcohol should not be out of the question. Or does sobriety have a different meaning in America? ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2005, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-honor-my-friends-10th-anniversary-of-sobriety/315367/19 "2005-08-03T19:34:09Z")
In this context “sobriety” is understood as teetotaling. People who are not recovering alcoholics say “I’m sober” to mean “I’m not currently drunk.” On the other hand, a recovering alcoholic would say “I’m sober” to mean “I do not drink alcohol.” (That’s how my friend in recovery says it, anyway.)