# How should I make my apartment seem pretentious? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 19, 2009, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495 "2009-07-19T01:08:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Jettboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/61 "2009-07-20T17:03:28Z")
I was in a gallery years ago trying to market my work. They had a piece on display that made me decide to turn and leave as quickly as possible. It was an old, stained, partially smashed toilet, most likely salvaged from a condemned building, with magenta paint splashed in the bowl and an old black sneaker— a Chuck Taylor Converse hightop, if I’m not mistaken— lying on it’s side on the top of the toilet tank. It was titled “Requiem 33”. Track it down and buy it. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/62 "2009-07-20T17:12:42Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > I may be more pretentious than I realized! > > Astérix books in French? Check. Novel by Spomenka Štimec, famous Croatian author, which I picked up in Helsinki because you can’t get it over here’? Check. Obscure Esperanto translation of Japanese manga? Check. Book in Punjabi that I did the cover art for? Check. Artwork by local artists? Check. Wall of white Ikea magazine holders? Check. Esoteric Polish bottled water? Check. Hand-made clothing from India? Check. > > On the other hand, this apartment is cluttered and lived in, and is clearly a space where work is done. That’s not pretentious at all. It’s not just the stuff, but the way it’s arranged! I’ve got quite a few books & even DVD’s that have been mentioned in this thread. But they are not artfully arranged in a minimalist setting stripped of anything plebian. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/63 "2009-07-20T17:27:04Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > No, no, to be completely pretentious, the Asterix books have to be in Latin or at least in a language you are completely unable to read. If you speak French and English, then the Asterix books must be in Japanese or Korean (Chinese is not pretentious enough), as you’d be able to at least guessread 40% or more of the Latin. Better: Astérix in [Creole](http://gb.asterix.com/asterix-in-creole/). Or [Picard](http://gb.asterix.com/asterix-in-picard/). But you have to put the accent in Astérix. > [@](#): > > Oh, if you can get anything by Spanish group Héroes del Silencio or their singer, Enrique Bunbury, your pretentious status just skyrockets. Specially the group’s second album, which was so pretentious nobody understood it. Would Penguin Cafe Orchestra do? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harvey_The_Heavy)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/64 "2009-07-20T18:09:32Z")
> [@The\_Scrivener](#): > > … bootleg rock concert recordings… You mean my copy of _KISS Destroys Anaheim_ is pretentious? > [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Stock your entertainment center with foreign films (preferably with non-English titles) and express disgust whenever possible that they didn’t win Oscars. AND my vhs copies of the original japanese versions of Godzilla movies? What a pompous ass I am! I guess it’s no surprise I’m sitting here with my iPod connected to my Mac. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/65 "2009-07-20T18:10:09Z")
Hang your diploma on the wall; better yet, hang anybody’s diploma on the wall. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/66 "2009-07-20T18:15:44Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Would Penguin Cafe Orchestra do? 🙂 Oh very well, we shall accept them. Some of their titles sound like they could be from Les Luthiers, but I suspect WPC take themselves seriously… ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/67 "2009-07-20T18:19:12Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Hang your diploma on the wall; better yet, hang anybody’s diploma on the wall. Homer Simpson [del]Ned Flanders[/del] ---
**Author:** ![Redwing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dfb087/32.png) [@Redwing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redwing)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/68 "2009-07-20T21:42:58Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Hang your diploma on the wall; better yet, hang anybody’s diploma on the wall. Bonus points for a Fine Arts degree from some place like Berklee School of Music and older than you are. A friend of the family’s, gauche, but your mother wanted you to keep it up. Also, the scrapbook full of thank you letters from obscure charities and, ideally, some scrawled out by homeless men on the backs of their cardboard signs. We must do our best to help others, you know. Lastly, you must always insist that you live the way you do because you aren’t comfortable with a mere facade to impress others, you just want to be able to relax in your home. Be a tinge embarrassed both that anyone would think you pretentious, and that you are so vulgar as to live the way you choose, without thinking about how others would precieve your dwelling. ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/69 "2009-07-20T23:00:59Z")
Hmmm… apparently I’m a pretentious twat. See, I don’t just have Asterix and Tintin in French… I have VINTAGE 1960s editions of Asterix and Tintin in French. Plus a couple of Jo et Zette books for good measure, also in French. Besides the Asterix and Tintin, the rest of the bookshelves are crammed full of design-related books, vintage cookbooks, back issues of Gourmet from the 1970s and some esoteric magazines about art, design and CG effects. Plus several very expensive Phaeton Press coffee table books sitting atop our sleek modern Ikea coffee table. Which brings us to the living room, which is furnished with several pieces of mid-century modern so-ugly-its-awesome-again furniture in the living and dining rooms (Exhibit A:[The Ugly Orange Chair](http://www.flickr.com/photos/polkaroo/2322293759/in/set-72157605667074395/)). We’ve paired them with an ironic shag run for maximum effect. I guess we won’t even mention the sizeable of art painted by various friends or purchased from local artists or brought home from trips abroad. Or the photos of us in various awesome hipster-approved places like Barcelona and NYC. Oh, and I have very expensive organic cocoa powder in the pantry, a panini maker and an espresso machine on the counter, and a Le Creuset on the stovetop. I’ma go take a shower now. I feel so very dirty. ☹ (Apparently, all it takes to be a pretentious twat is to live with someone who graduated from art school and be a bilingual 30-something with a crafty/foodie bent… go figure) ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/70 "2009-07-20T23:16:14Z")
> [@Mahna\_Mahna](#): > > Which brings us to the living room, which is furnished with several pieces of mid-century modern so-ugly-its-awesome-again furniture in the living and dining rooms (Exhibit A:[The Ugly Orange Chair](http://www.flickr.com/photos/polkaroo/2322293759/in/set-72157605667074395/)). We’ve paired them with an ironic shag run for maximum effect. The chair is indeed hideous, but the decorative cat is quite nice. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/71 "2009-07-20T23:34:33Z")
Holy fuck that’s an awesome chair. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/72 "2009-07-20T23:51:43Z")
> [@Dave\_Hartwick](#): > > Buy everything Apple ever made, and talk about how swell it all is. On the same subject…is it more pretentious to have a big, ostentatious Mac/Pro-Apple setup; or have a big ostentatious PC setup and proclaim to anyone how Macs are overpriced consumer trash? Anyways…um, how about a full-sized print of _Guernica_ on one wall, preferably overlooking a dining area? ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/73 "2009-07-20T23:52:26Z")
As someone clarified upthread, it’s only pretentious to have Asterix or Tintin books in French _if you can’t speak French_. However, Asterix books in Latin are _always_ pretentious, even if you can speak fluent Latin. 😉 Remember, the key concept behind “Pretentious” is “Pretence”. It doesn’t work if you actually, genuinely believe the nonsense (nonsense is a key concept here) you’re spouting (people in that category are generally classified as “wankers” ;)) Also, you have to _want_ people to see whatever it is that’s alleged to be Pretentious. Thus, Tintin books in French on your bookshelf with your other books, and you speak French= Not Pretentious. Tintin books in French deliberately left on your coffee table or other prominent location where they’ll be seen as soon as anyone walks through the door, and you _can’t_ speak French= Pretentious. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/74 "2009-07-20T23:55:44Z")
Miss Manners said it’s in poor taste to display any photos of you, or a relative, with a celebrity, but I imagine that’s not a common problem unless you photoshop yourself into something.:dubious: My pretentious uncle had a jar of sand with a shell which he claimed he brought back from the Seychelles. Captiva Island in Florida is more likely, but I can’t prove it. ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/75 "2009-07-21T04:02:31Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Holy fuck that’s an awesome chair. Yep. In fact, those are the exact words that flew out of my mouth when I spotted that chair for the first time. 🙂 Aside from being stupendously ugly and awesome, it’s also very comfy. (also, the fact that the cat more or less matches the living room decor is entirely accidental, and not additional proof of our pretentious hipsterishness… honest) ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/76 "2009-07-21T09:39:43Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > Remember, the key concept behind “Pretentious” is “Pretence”. It doesn’t work if you actually, genuinely believe the nonsense Actually, I’m not sure that’s quite right. The root here is not ‘pretend’ as in ‘deceive / imagine / make believe’ but as in ‘make a claim to’. A pretentious statement may or may not involve deception, delusion and fantasy; but it will always involve staking a claim to something such as status, prestige, fame, merit, talent and so on. The Pretender to the throne is making a claim that he is entitled to it. This may or may not turn out to be true. Even if it isn’t true, then he may or may not have sincerely held the belief. But he is a Pretender nonetheless. At least, that’s how I’ve always understood how ‘pretentious’ is used on this side of the pond. YDMVAICBW. Your Definitions May Vary And I Could Be Wrong ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/77 "2009-07-21T12:34:50Z")
> [@Mahna\_Mahna](#): > > [snip](also, the fact that the cat more or less matches the living room decor is entirely accidental, and not additional proof of our pretentious hipsterishness… honest) Um, that’s not “matching,” that’s just cat hair, everywhere. 😉 Cats haz wayz of decorating to suit themselves, don’t they? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bith_Shuffle)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/78 "2009-07-21T18:58:02Z")
My friend helped me move. We moved all of my stuff (bed, bookcases, etc) in a 1974 Dodge Dart. It took four hours. The walls are white. I’m going to have to cover them with lots of stuff to ward off the cheer. Are Persian rugs always expensive? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/79 "2009-07-21T19:10:49Z")
> [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](#): > > Are Persian rugs always expensive? Fine hand-knotted ones? Yes. Good-quality machine-made rugs with lovely Oriental patterns? No. Also, you could look at antique Oriental rugs. They’re often cheap, but that’s usually because they’re worn. But that can be a good look in and of itself. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495/80 "2009-07-21T19:18:24Z")
Have a Manservant answer the door and serve appetizers. Offer guests slippers and a place to leave their shoes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-make-my-apartment-seem-pretentious/503495.md?page=5)