# How should I respond to strangers insisting on praying for me in my presence? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 31, 2020, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305 "2020-01-31T18:42:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2020, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/81 "2020-02-01T20:16:59Z")
Back in the mid-1990’s I spent my first week in Japan training with several other Americans to be English teachers. We were out at the end of a day roaming downtown Nagoya when some guy walked up to Karen and asked in broken English if he could pray to Jesus for her. She agreed and the guy stood facing her with his hands pressed together while mumbling something we assumed was a Christian prayer in Japanese. He then turned to Andy and offered to do the same. Andy said, “Sure! You wanna steal my wallet while we’ve all got our eyes closed?” and turned around and bent over. Pointing your feet at someone is considered horribly rude in Japan; I could only imagine how offensive Andy was being because I was horribly offended by his representation of our group. I quickly stepped between Andy and our nameless Christian benefactor and apologized. He just shrugged and wandered away. A few weeks after I was situated in the town where I was teaching, I happened to mention the incident to an American colleague. He said, “Yeah, one of those guys offered that to me when I was in training. I nodded and started to walk away, but he got in front of me and said I had to stay there while he prayed. I told him, ‘No, no. You pray, I’ve got dinner to find. Thank you for the effort.’ and I left.” –G! Pray in one hand, shit in the other. Which hand will be heavier? ---
**Author:** ![rsat3acr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@rsat3acr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsat3acr)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2020, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/82 "2020-02-01T22:09:29Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > Well, yours is clearly a minority opinion (about the demon worship). > > But you are right about the touching. You can say, “don’t touch me.” If you say it right, they won’t touch you, unless they are cognitively impaired. people that pray are cognitively impared ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2020, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/83 "2020-02-01T22:16:09Z")
> [@rsat3acr](#): > > people that pray are cognitively impared The next time you use a sentence like that, please proofread it. Four errors in a six-word sentence is a little excessive given the sentiment. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2020, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/84 "2020-02-01T23:46:48Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > The next time you use a sentence like that, please proofread it. Four errors in a six-word sentence is a little excessive given the sentiment. Perhaps that poster prays. 🙂 Even among the Evangelical crowd the behavior STR described is pretty over the top. That’s only a step above snake handlers IMO. I suggest yelling OWWWWWW! This person hurt me!!! Call the cops!!! ---
**Author:** ![rsat3acr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@rsat3acr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsat3acr)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/85 "2020-02-02T00:16:28Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > The next time you use a sentence like that, please proofread it. Four errors in a six-word sentence is a little excessive given the sentiment. yep ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/86 "2020-02-02T02:12:52Z")
Start singing That Old Time Religion with the “older” verses. Example: Shall we sing a verse for Venus, Of the Gods she is the meanest, Cause she bit me on my…elbow! And it’s good enough for me ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/87 "2020-02-02T04:48:13Z")
Yes they’re rudely overstepping, but you should probably just turn a blind eye to it. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/88 "2020-02-02T05:37:04Z")
I’m a Christian. The two responses I can think of, things the OP can say to assholes are: You are going to Hell. Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Saviour? \*\* Both re-direct the conversation: both challenge the other person at an emotional level that they find difficult to deal with: both are insulting to people who take their evangelical Christianity seriously. Neither one is is always gonna work. They give you a good starting point by reversing the power relationship. In situations where some prick is embiggening themselves, that’s what you want. \*\*If you don’t know any social and cultural Christianity, you may have difficulty carrying the second suggestion at a level that is insulting. In which case, just stick to the first one. ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/89 "2020-02-02T07:01:53Z")
I carry a police whistle on my keychain. Blowing it sometimes deters the obnoxious. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/90 "2020-02-02T07:21:10Z")
Another Christian chiming in. I like the idea of using Christianity back at them. “Are you saying my pastor and church family didn’t have enough faith when they prayed for me?” “Paul wrote in large letters because he was going blind. Am I better than Paul?” “Dear Lord, please heal this person’s spiritual blindness and lack of boundaries or common sense.” ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/91 "2020-02-02T14:57:40Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > For the life of me I can’t understand aggressive aggrieved atheism > > \ You have made a lot of incorrect assumptions. In the first place, I am not an aggrieved atheist. It would be more accurate to call me a Christian agnostic. I don’t believe in anything supernatural, be at Faith healing, life after death, or the physical resuscitation of Jesus, but I do find much of Christian doctrine to be useful in the ordering of my life. You are also assuming that my objection to prayers on my behalf is broader than it is. Someone saying that she or he will pray for me is one thing, so long as they just leave it there. It is quite another when someone repeatedly tells me that I will not be blind forever because God will surely heal me if only I give my life to Jesus in the manner prescribed by the church of that person’s choice. Those are the kinds of things that mildly annoy me, but the specific incident that set me off the other day was the asshole who tried to lay hands on me in the middle of Kroger. In fact, he did more than I indicated. When I ran into this person, I was in the company of one of the store’s managers so she could help me with my produce purchases. He cornered her first and insisted on laying his healing hands on her, which she excepted out of an unwillingness to offend a customer. I tolerated witnessing that, not commenting that he was delaying my own errand with his lengthy diatribe, but when he tried to put his hands on me to heal my eyes, I batted them away without the slightest hesitation. There is no rule of etiquette requiring me to submit to an invasion of my person. similarly, when somebody insists on witnessing to me (no matter his or her faith or lack of faith), I am completely free to simply walk away. If that person persists, I feel just as free to chastise him or her verbally. If you think otherwise, it is because you are prioritizing the rights of a given faith over that of all others. Do you not see the problem with that? ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/92 "2020-02-02T15:36:14Z")
> [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](#): > > Be nice to them. That seems to be what we are here to do. IOW, [Be Excellent to Each Other!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGErt4CfLD0) ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/93 "2020-02-02T15:44:40Z")
> [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](#): > > Be nice to them. That seems to be what we are here to do. They should know better than to touch you. That is just unacceptable, and would earn as firm “keep your hands off me” from me. (And I am not anti-religious or anything like that. You want to pray for me? That’s fine. Kinda cute. You want to touch me without my permission? Get the hell away from me. I don’t care how “nice” you think you are. That’s just not nice.) ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/94 "2020-02-02T15:51:08Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Start singing That Old Time Religion with the “older” verses. Example: > > Shall we sing a verse for Venus, > Of the Gods she is the meanest, > Cause she bit me on my…elbow! > And it’s good enough for me [How I learned it](https://www.madmusic.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=510). Imagine my disappointment when I went to visit my cousin in Mississippi and the entire church got all the words wrong! ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/95 "2020-02-02T16:01:51Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > You have made a lot of incorrect assumptions. > > In the first place, I am not an aggrieved atheist. It would be more accurate to call me a Christian agnostic. I don’t believe in anything supernatural, be at Faith healing, life after death, or the physical resuscitation of Jesus, but I do find much of Christian doctrine to be useful in the ordering of my life. > > You are also assuming that my objection to prayers on my behalf is broader than it is. Someone saying that she or he will pray for me is one thing, so long as they just leave it there. It is quite another when someone repeatedly tells me that I will not be blind forever because God will surely heal me if only I give my life to Jesus in the manner prescribed by the church of that person’s choice. Those are the kinds of things that mildly annoy me, but the specific incident that set me off the other day was the asshole who tried to lay hands on me in the middle of Kroger. In fact, he did more than I indicated. When I ran into this person, I was in the company of one of the store’s managers so she could help me with my produce purchases. He cornered her first and insisted on laying his healing hands on her, which she excepted out of an unwillingness to offend a customer. I tolerated witnessing that, not commenting that he was delaying my own errand with his lengthy diatribe, but when he tried to put his hands on me to heal my eyes, I batted them away without the slightest hesitation. There is no rule of etiquette requiring me to submit to an invasion of my person. similarly, when somebody insists on witnessing to me (no matter his or her faith or lack of faith), I am completely free to simply walk away. If that person persists, I feel just as free to chastise him or her verbally. > > If you think otherwise, it is because you are prioritizing the rights of a given faith over that of all others. Do you not see the problem with that? Okay, it seems to me that it is not as much about bel, but about being touched by strangers without permission? In which case, yeah, that is creepy. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/96 "2020-02-02T16:28:26Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Not a direct analogue to the OP’s situation, but I feel like talking and you can’t stop me. > > In mormonism and presumably various other religions, there’s a fairly standard practice of having one person say a prayer aloud while others listen quietly, with the implication that that person is speaking for the entire group. So the speaker is “praying for” the group - he’s praying in place of them, on their behalf. (Rather than for their benefit, as is happening to the OP.) > > I happen to consider all forms of christianity to be demon worship, quite literally. As I got older and this opinion crystallized I became more and more uncomfortable with being present during such prayers; by being a member of the silent group I was being implicitly included in the group of people who were praying - the group worshiping the demon. And while it’s not my business if other people are worshiping demons I don’t like doing it myself. > > Of course, there’s an easy way to avoid this - don’t be part of such groups. When such a prayer is threatening to ensue, one merely needs to leave the room and get far enough away to not be part of the group. (Getting out of earshot is a good start, though I like to also have a closed door between me and them.) > > I ran into a snag, though - my family is mormon and when I expressed a desire to exit the room during prayers, _my mom refused to let me leave_. Making it quite explicit that she agreed with me that being in the room was making me worship, and that she wanted to force me to worship against my will! > > So how did I respond to non-strangers insisting on praying for me in my presence? I saw little choice but to refuse to even go over to my parents’ house at all, until she relented and allowed me to leave the room when a prayer ensued. (Yes, I was an adult at the time, with my own place and everything.) She held out for over _six months_, before relenting and saying that she would allow me to _leave a room_. > > Yeah, I’m still pretty sensitive about this. So to the OP’s situation, if a stranger offered to pray for me, my response would be “How about you don’t.” Followed closely by “How about you don’t and fuck yourself with a rusty chainsaw while you’re at it” if they didn’t take no for an answer. Holy shit, that was rude of her. I think you did the right thing. Just refuse to put yourself in a position where you are tempted to lay hands on your mother because she is inappropriately controlling of her adult child. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/97 "2020-02-02T16:33:17Z")
> [@Pantastic](#): > > So if members of the Church of Satan came up in their traditional garb and started praying for you, you’d thank them for the prayer?.. If they were brief and polite, yes, probably. I am an atheist who is a member of a religious congregation (Reform Jew) and I’m generally okay with religion. If someone wants to pray for me, cool, Ill accept it. That being said, what Skald describes is crazy rude and a little scary. Real answer 1) I’d probably be too shocked to do anything constructive, honestly. Real answer 2) Say “OUCH!!” and try to attract as much attention as possible. Continue yelling “ouch, let go of me” until the asshole backs off. Snarky answer) “thank you for your blessings. I have been searching the world for a saint to heal me. Please stay with me and guide me until my sight returns.” ---
**Author:** ![Acierocolotl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acierocolotl/32/6241_2.png) [@Acierocolotl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acierocolotl)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/98 "2020-02-02T18:11:52Z")
Well, Skald, I was going to suggest simply yelling, “Noo! Stop stealing my superpowers!” as loudly as you can when the layer-on-of-hands comes by. “I worked hard to be this way! Don’t you dare undo that, you greedy such-and-such!” Yes, you should call him a such-and-such. Thrice, ideally. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/99 "2020-02-02T18:16:07Z")
I just say “yes, please ask the Goddess to bless me.” Sure shuts 'em up in my neighborhood where the vast majority is of the Calvinistic persuasion. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/100 "2020-02-02T18:19:35Z")
When someone says they’ll pray for me, I say, “And I will THINK for you.” 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305.md?page=6)