# How should I respond to strangers insisting on praying for me in my presence? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 31, 2020, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305 "2020-01-31T18:42:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2020, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/101 "2020-02-02T18:25:47Z")
nm, dupe. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2020, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/102 "2020-02-03T14:09:21Z")
As I’m in the process of moving to a new locale, I’m preparing for the possibility of a new neighbor(s) asking if I’ve found a “church home” in the area (this happened years ago). I figure on responding that we worship online, and if pressed, mentioning the Church of the Subgenius website. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2020, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/103 "2020-02-03T14:45:24Z")
“Hey, thanks, mister - I’m still blind but you’ve just cured my erectile dysfunction! Here, give me your hand - I’ll show you…” ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2020, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/104 "2020-02-03T16:22:58Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > “Hey, thanks, mister - I’m still blind but you’ve just cured my erectile dysfunction! Here, give me your hand - I’ll show you…” Sadly, my penis is not big enough for me to feel comfortable joking about losing the use of it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2020, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/105 "2020-02-03T18:04:30Z")
I had been thinking more like “Thanks! The pills from the internet don’t seem to work, so maybe prayer will help!” ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2020, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/106 "2020-02-03T19:47:22Z")
Tell the laying-on-of-hands guy that you also have hemorrhoids, and you would like him to start with those. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2020, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/107 "2020-02-03T19:50:03Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > Well, yours is clearly a minority opinion (about the demon worship). Oh, absolutely. Which is weird to me - we’re talking about a supernatural entity that built its entire religion around a human sacrifice made to itself. > [@Ulfreida](#): > > But you are right about the touching. You can say, “don’t touch me.” If you say it right, they won’t touch you, unless they are cognitively impaired. Talk about leaving me an opening! > [@puzzlegal](#): > > Holy shit, that was rude of her. I think you did the right thing. Just refuse to put yourself in a position where you are tempted to lay hands on your mother because she is inappropriately controlling of her adult child. I would never lay hands on my mother - I was just honestly flabbergasted. Evacuating was clearly the best option. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2020, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/108 "2020-02-03T19:55:05Z")
(Loudly) “Hmmmppfff! Obviously your religious instruction is deficient in matters of blind faith!” ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Sponge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dark_sponge/32/121_2.png) [@Dark\_Sponge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Sponge)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2020, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/109 "2020-02-04T01:21:41Z")
If you can see afterward, thank them. If you can’t, shout “It didn’t work!” ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2020, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/110 "2020-02-04T04:09:55Z")
For the classless idiots who try to touch you, go with the “stranger danger” response… Start screaming “bad touch! Bad touch! I need an adult!!” The logical paradox of a grown man screaming like a child for “adult” help should either cause their brains to implode, or at least cause terminal embarrassment Option 2; Say in a low, guttural, demonic voice “I must find a new host body, this new body is suitable!” As you grip them back, harder… ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2020, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/111 "2020-02-04T05:22:49Z")
_Jesus said to do our praying in a closet, so if you wish to pray for me, feel free to find a closet and go to town. And if you lay your hands on me, I will not hesitate to have you charged with assault._ ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2020, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/112 "2020-02-04T05:53:27Z")
> [@Dark\_Sponge](#): > > If you can see afterward, thank them. > > If you can’t, shout “It didn’t work!” Or “That just made it worse!” ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2020, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/113 "2020-02-04T06:00:16Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > As I’m in the process of moving to a new locale, I’m preparing for the possibility of a new neighbor(s) asking if I’ve found a “church home” in the area (this happened years ago). > > I figure on responding that we worship online, and if pressed, mentioning the Church of the Subgenius website. Flying Spaghetti Monster and His Noodly Appendages is my husband’s go-to. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2020, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/114 "2020-02-04T06:37:01Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > _Jesus said to do our praying in a closet, so if you wish to pray for me, feel free to find a closet and go to town. And if you lay your hands on me, I will not hesitate to have you charged with assault._ Alternatively: “Butterflies” Wait a few moments while you listen for the satisfying gurgle from an ocelot-mangled throat. “Butterflies.” Wait a few moments again. “Samantha, did you go gallivanting off again? SAMANTHA! Damn that ocelot! Hey wait right here, would ya? I have to go find my ocelot so I can give her the codeword to rip your throat out. If she shows up while I’m gone, the codeword is ‘Butterflies.’ Just go ahead and say it to her, and she’ll know what to do. Hey thanks a lot!!” Then take your cane and go tap-tap-tapping away. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2020, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/115 "2020-02-04T10:58:29Z")
When the dude lays his hands on you, turn it into a bear-hug embrace and gush loudly for all to hear,\* “oh sweetheart, I thought you’d never ask! Of course I’ll marry you!!!”\* ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2020, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/116 "2020-02-04T14:30:31Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > Or “That just made it worse!” There’s a whole thing you could roll out here: “Wait…wait…omigod…Oh MY GOD!..I CAN’T HEAR NOW! YOU MADE ME DEAF! NOW I’M BLIND AND DEAF! AND - ARE YOU STILL TOUCHING ME? OH GOD…MY LEGS! NOW I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME??? YOU’RE A MONSTER!!!” Or just go old school and shout “STRANGER DANGER!” ---
**Author:** ![MarvinKitFox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@MarvinKitFox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarvinKitFox)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2020, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/117 "2020-02-04T15:05:29Z")
Stranger wants to Pray for me? Great! I will ask them to respect my religion and direct the prayer to the Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster (long may his noodly appendages grow!), or for lesser request to direct the Prayer to Shub-Niggurath who is this week’s Portal to his noodlyness. This response seems to really inspire the prayerful person, who usually jumps up with joy and runs screaming of the Glory of the AFSM. Ah, i just saw that SUnny Daze (or at least her husband) is also a pastafarian. Glory to His Noodlyness, and let the Sauce Flow to the heathens. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2020, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/118 "2020-02-04T15:08:37Z")
OK, so sword canes are out if you don’t want to go full Denzel in Book of Eli. Spoilsport. I have to admit **MacTech** ’s suggestion is the one that made me \ the most. How about amassing a giant collection of foul and offensive t-shirts to wear for grocery shopping and Sunday strolls? You have a perfect out and you can have a little fun listening to the sharp intakes of breathe and the scurrying of Moms hastily covering their children’s eyes to prevent their being corrupted! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2020, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/119 "2020-02-04T15:53:40Z")
When hitting the rah-rah protesters at the local Women’s Health Center, I sometimes wear a T-shirt that states Rainbow is My Favorite Color. If they comment on it, I point out that the Rainbow is a promise from God, so what’s your objection? ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2020, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305/120 "2020-02-04T17:23:07Z")
> [@swampspruce](#): > > OK, so sword canes are out if you don’t want to go full Denzel in Book of Eli. Spoilsport. I have to admit **MacTech** ’s suggestion is the one that made me \ the most. How about amassing a giant collection of foul and offensive t-shirts to wear for grocery shopping and Sunday strolls? You have a perfect out and you can have a little fun listening to the sharp intakes of breathe and the scurrying of Moms hastily covering their children’s eyes to prevent their being corrupted! The fun part is where, if someone complains, you get to make them say the horribly offensive words out loud. “I don’t understand, what does my shirt say?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-i-respond-to-strangers-insisting-on-praying-for-me-in-my-presence/847305.md?page=7)