# How should one leave a party? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 19, 2014, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763 "2014-10-19T05:29:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/1 "2014-10-19T05:29:57Z")
I found this article in slate: [LINK](http://www.slate.com/articles/life/a_fine_whine/2013/07/ghosting_the_irish_goodbye_the_french_leave_stop_saying_goodbye_at_parties.html) discussing a new way to leave a party. Now normally when I leave an event I go to the host and thank them for inviting me. But this writer mentions a new concept. They call it “ghosting”. Others “Irish leave”. Basically its NOT saying goodbye to your hosts when you leave. However they suggest sending a thank you email or text later. I dont think I could do that. It seems rude unless of course the host is surrounded by lots of people. What do you all think? ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/2 "2014-10-19T05:42:07Z")
I always find the host and say goodbye, but I also send a thank you note the next day. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/3 "2014-10-19T05:57:54Z")
Well, that’s rude and not very becoming of a guest, but who in the hell sends a thank you note? I’ll tell you: no one! A thank you note for being invited to a party? Ch’yeah, right. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Little\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Pig)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/4 "2014-10-19T05:58:09Z")
Its poor form not to thank the host prior to leaving. With regards to the other guests… fuck 'em, each and every one, the pandering parasites. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/5 "2014-10-19T06:00:37Z")
SINGING!!! (Sorry, I just recently re-watched “Yellow Submarine”) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/6 "2014-10-19T09:36:34Z")
If you’re ambulatory, it really wasn’t that much of a party, now was it? ---
**Author:** ![Longshanks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Longshanks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Longshanks)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/7 "2014-10-19T13:08:00Z")
Through a door, I would imagine. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/8 "2014-10-19T13:10:14Z")
Ha. Irish leave. Couple of friends from Newfoundland taught me that trick (didn’t name it). The thinking behind it was that people were always going to try and convince you to stay so just slip out. Makes sense depending on what type of party it is. Obviously not cool after a 3 couple dinner party. Eta: that was 20 years ago. Not really new to me. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/9 "2014-10-19T13:16:22Z")
I try to exit twenty minutes before the police show up. All the fun without having to post bail. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/10 "2014-10-19T13:38:48Z")
Exactly as one found it. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/11 "2014-10-19T14:13:33Z")
> [@Flywheel](#): > > Exactly as one found it. …but able to drive. ---
**Author:** ![jacksparrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b9e5f3/32.png) [@jacksparrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacksparrow)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2014, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/12 "2014-10-19T16:20:31Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > Ha. Irish leave. Couple of friends from Newfoundland taught me that trick (didn’t name it). The thinking behind it was that people were always going to try and convince you to stay so just slip out. Makes sense depending on what type of party it is. Obviously not cool after a 3 couple dinner party. bingo! I am a big fan of “ghosting” (I’ve always heard it referred to as a “French exit”). I learned it early in my career when going to trade shows (working a booth) and just wanting to disappear. Well, you can’t very well say goodbye to everyone; so, you just casually walk, and keep walking. Usually, nobody can put a finger on exactly when you left and they don’t even notice (but sometimes this isn’t the case). At parties, I often do the same thing. I don’t like to stay at parties for too long. I like to show up, say hello…maybe do an hour or so, then take off. The “ghost” thing is the best way. It’s probably rude…but I still do it if I feel like leaving early is just as rude or if people will bug me about “why are you leaving?”. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/13 "2014-10-31T01:56:54Z")
Unless it’s a really insistent host, I think it would be rude not to say bye. ---
**Author:** ![Precambrianmollusc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/precambrianmollusc/32/63_2.png) [@Precambrianmollusc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Precambrianmollusc)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/14 "2014-10-31T02:07:20Z")
Good days sir!. I said good day. Yeah , not saying goodbye is pretty rude, obviously variations on how big the event is and how well you know the host. If it is a corporate trade show thing, general marketing related party, probably not a big deal, if I had been invited by a friend or a FOAF, the I would say goodbye, or at least a catch the eye and wave, if said FOAF is in conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/15 "2014-10-31T03:30:15Z")
> [@Longshanks](#): > > Through a door, I would imagine. Unless you were a Caesarian baby, then you’d leave through the window. (Apologies to Steven Wright.) ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/16 "2014-10-31T05:11:35Z")
If it’s a real good old fashioned knock down drag out party, hope the host calls an ambulance and doesn’t just drop you in the alley. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Wiggler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/red_wiggler/32/13190_2.png) [@Red\_Wiggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Wiggler)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/17 "2014-10-31T20:46:12Z")
So that’s what it’s called. I’ve been ghosting from events all my life. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/18 "2014-10-31T20:48:32Z")
Definitely not through the laundry chute. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2014, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/19 "2014-10-31T20:51:09Z")
One goes to the door. One opens the door and stands in the doorway. One shouts, “Late bitches, I’m out!” One then shuts the door before people have time to turn their heads to see who just said that. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2014, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/20 "2014-11-01T00:50:53Z")
After two to three hours I quietly thank the host(s) and mention I will be sneaking out and what a great time I had. I then quietly leave and only add additional good-byes to people who ask if I’m leaving. I send an email thank you. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763.md?page=2)