# How should one leave a party? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 19, 2014, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763 "2014-10-19T05:29:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2014, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/21 "2014-11-01T01:23:18Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > I always find the host and say goodbye, but I also send a thank you note the next day. That’s what I think you should do, too. But I usually exit stealthily so I don’t have deal with any of that shit in a drunken state. ---
**Author:** ![Emmy2635](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/919ad9/32.png) [@Emmy2635](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emmy2635)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2014, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/22 "2014-11-01T01:28:49Z")
I think “ghosting” can be appropriate at large gatherings, especially weddings. I wish I hadn’t spent the entire second half of my reception saying goodbye every 3 minutes. In the case where your host is busy enjoying themselves, I say let them be. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2014, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/23 "2014-11-01T01:46:25Z")
I give another guest $5 and tell them to wait 5 minutes then yell loudly “HAMPSHIRE HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!” ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2014, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/24 "2014-11-01T19:42:51Z")
It’s situational. In the case of large gatherings, you should already have socialized with the host well before exiting and conveyed whatever sentiments are appropriate to the occasion, and there is no need to interrupt them to do so again; your entrance should be noticed, though not disruptive, and your exit should pass unremarked. At smaller parties, departing unnoticed is more difficult, and more likely to change the dynamics. In this case, some sort of acknowledgment is appropriate, if the host is not otherwise engaged. The smaller the party, the more this is true; at a gathering of intimates, a personal farewell is obviously appropriate. All of this is, of course, subject to the host’s preferred custom. If you know that goodbyes are important to them, then it’s proper to tender one, even at major occasions. Personally, I like it when there is something to mark an “official” end-point to a gathering–“The Parting Glass”, for instance–after which, the host’s duties are done, and guests may continue to socialize, separate into smaller groups for other activities, or depart without notice. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/25 "2014-11-06T00:08:29Z")
I always make sure that the smoke has cleared, and that the intended targets are neutralized; then I fire a few rounds into the air and say “Don’t follow me” just in case I missed somebody. ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/26 "2014-11-06T00:47:43Z")
What, no hostages! ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/27 "2014-11-06T01:07:19Z")
> [@Longshanks](#): > > Through a door, I would imagine. If the PD is out front, rear/side windows are not only acceptable, but advised. Yeah, this really did happen in the under-21 days. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/28 "2014-11-06T02:36:04Z")
**How should one leave a party?** Cleaner than how one found it. Oh wait, that’s a campsite. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/29 "2014-11-06T03:30:59Z")
> [@GaryM](#): > > What, no hostages! Believe me, I’m more embarrassed at this faux pas than you are. OK, one hostage. Female, young, beautiful, redheaded, well-bosomed. Spunky. Let’s not forget spunky. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/30 "2014-11-06T04:07:06Z")
Screw you guys, I’m going home. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2014, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/31 "2014-11-07T15:02:41Z")
> [@Precambrianmollusc](#): > > Good days sir!. I said good day. Only after wiping one’s penis on the drapes. ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2014, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/32 "2014-11-07T15:12:33Z")
Smash drinking vessel on the floor, scream, “FUCK THIS, I’M OUT!”, back out of room flipping the double bird. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2014, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/33 "2014-11-07T15:37:11Z")
Exeunt, pursued by a bear. But first… Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2014, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/34 "2014-11-07T16:04:27Z")
If I can find the host and they remember me leaving, it hasn’t been a good party. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2014, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/35 "2014-11-08T08:13:32Z")
Hobbit party style: unconscious, placed in a wheelbarrow and rolled home by gardeners hired by the host. \* Sing: gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble!\* ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2014, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/36 "2014-11-08T11:05:43Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > I always find the host and say goodbye, but I also send a thank you note the next day. I would always want to invite you into my home. I wouldn’t expect anyone to send a thank you note. But, if you did, it would be a very pleasant surprise. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2014, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/37 "2014-11-08T11:10:32Z")
In handcuffs. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2014, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763/38 "2014-11-08T11:18:26Z")
It depends on a lot of factors that can’t be easily reduced to a formula. But in my late teens to mid twenties I learned to just leave big parties without saying goodbye to the host. Attempting to say goodbye to the host was met with either endless pleas for me to stay or with small-talk that lasted forever. So I just quietly left parties when I felt it was time to leave. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-should-one-leave-a-party/701763.md?page=1)