# How soon did you know your SO was The One? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 11, 2008, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577 "2008-06-11T15:36:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/61 "2018-04-10T05:50:02Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Just me, Baby. No puppy dogs or groupies. Sad!šŸ˜‰ P.S. I bet you remember exactly what you were driving. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/62 "2018-04-10T13:50:44Z")
Funny old worldā€”this thread was started the very month I got together with The One who would be Wife 2.0 We worked at the same place. I walked past her one day on my way somewhere and she was all over her coworker: ā€œWho is thatā€ ā€œThatā€™s Inigo, and heā€™s very married.ā€ Which was true, but not happily so. First time I noticed her I was all, ā€œDamn, wish I wasnā€™t married.ā€ Fast forward a couple years. She escapes a bad relationship at about the same time Iā€™m still unpacking in my new home after divorcing my wife. The flirting starts, the fling starts. ā€œWeā€™re both on rebound, weā€™re coworkers, thereā€™s a dozen other red flags. This is just for fun right?ā€ ā€œOh absolutely!ā€ I lied. We were engaged within two months, married within five. Weā€™ve been amazing partners for coming up on ten years now and itā€™s still fantastic. First marriage, well, we kind of got married because we had both run out of options and we had a long history together. It seemed like the reasonable thing to do. It was pretty cold from the start, and 10 of the next 15 years were easily the worst of our lives. If I had known the relationship I have with wife 2.0 was even a possibility, I would have never married Wife 1.0. The irony, of course, is that had I not married the first, I would never have crossed paths with the second. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/63 "2018-04-10T14:32:03Z")
Almost instantly. The OW was over to type a paper for a friend and from that time on I knew I could spend my life with her. Little did I know it was a sentence and not a statement. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/64 "2018-04-10T15:23:30Z")
I donā€™t know when I ā€œknewā€, but we dated for 4 years, were engaged for 2 and will hit our 30th wedding anniversary in a couple of months, so I guess whenever it did happen I ā€œknewā€ good. Dayum, we have been together now for 2/3rds of my life! ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/65 "2018-04-10T15:29:24Z")
Mr.Wrekker and me had the ā€˜across a crowded roomā€™ā€™ incident. It was stunning to me, young and introverted and less than experienced. Him older, he had been around the block a few times. I just knew this was it. He decided, so he says, within the week, to persue me. Itā€™s been a good run, 3 kids, and lots of memories. Wouldnā€™t change a thing. Retirement and grandkids has been the bonus we didnā€™t expect. We are happy. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/66 "2018-04-10T15:32:02Z")
Iā€™ve read that men, generally, can tell very quickly - within minutes or even seconds - whether a woman is a potential wife for them, whereas women generally take considerably longer to evaluate whether a man could make a good husband for them or not. Not so much about physical appearance, but rather, the vibes a person gives off. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/67 "2018-04-10T15:43:04Z")
I knew my Beloved was the One as soon as I saw her. I recognized her from my dreams. šŸ™‚ No, not exaggerating. Iā€™m being absolutely literal. Other than trivial ā€œhi how are youā€ smalltalk, my first significant statement to her was ā€œSince weā€™ll be spending the rest of our lives together, we should get to know each other.ā€ That was 33 years ago. I donā€™t always get things right, but I think I absolutely was this time. ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/68 "2018-04-10T16:23:42Z")
Weā€™d been dating maybe a month, month and a half, and went to a party with some of his work crowd. At one point, he was outside in the backyard and noticed the hostā€™s neighbor had a Dachshund puppy. And knowing how much I missed my Doxie, he got the neighbor to let me play with the puppy. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/69 "2018-04-10T17:38:15Z")
We met on a Memorial Day weekend. We moved in together on the following July 4th weekend. Weā€™ve been together ever since. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/70 "2018-04-10T17:58:35Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > P.S. I bet you remember exactly what you were driving. Well, yeah. Iā€™m still driving it (them). ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/71 "2018-04-10T21:34:04Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > Iā€™ve been with my SO 16 years now and still think so. So can I be exempt? > [@Dangerosa](#): > > I wonder what the exemption point is? Probably death with both spouses still believing in ā€œthe Oneā€ - or at least still being in love. Every so often you hear of someone who gets served divorce papers out of no where after 20+ years of marriage. > > I think there are a few danger points along the way - anytime in the first few years, when kids are toddlers, when kids are teenagers, after a tragedy (an amazing percentage of marriages donā€™t make it through the death of a child, some people donā€™t manage to stick through sickness, or financial stress), when the kids leave - and you look at each other after 20 years and wonder what you are going to talk about for the rest of your life. Sometimes it just takes ONE STUPID THING. Like an ill thought out fling - or rather a ā€œnot thought out at allā€ fling. And yes, there are people who ā€œnever would.ā€ And I donā€™t think either I or Brainiac4 ever would. But Iā€™ve been wrong before, and I only get to control the actions of one of us. OK, so now 25 years in and getting towards 26. And she is still the one ā€¦ Now weā€™re thinking about retirement and travel though as something that can happen in the nearish future and now impossibly far away. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/72 "2018-04-10T21:45:23Z")
We went to a movie on Nov 12, and to dinner on Nov 13. He came over to my house for dinner on Nov 14 and told me (didnā€™t ask) that Iā€™d marry him. I thought ā€œYeah, of course.ā€ We eloped on Dec 9, 1983, not quite 4 weeks after our first date. And weā€™re about to become grandparents any day now. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2018, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/73 "2018-04-10T22:40:56Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Brainiac4 and I met in high school. We spent 11 years in the same circle of friends, I got married and divorced, both of us dated a lot of other people. After eleven years we started dating. Figuring weā€™d either be together forever, or blow up fantastically after about three months, he kept his apartment when he moved in with me, labeled all the CDs he brought into the house, and prepared for the mushroom cloud. After three months, no mushroom cloud and we got engaged sometime after that. Twelve years and counting. > > But yes, I married ā€œthe Oneā€ earlier, who by the time I married him I knew he wasnā€™t ā€œthe One.ā€ But I was sure of it early on. And I donā€™t really believe in ā€œthe Oneā€ - I believe there is more than one person out there for everyone, but matches are a minority, it isnā€™t just anyone will do. Still together. Our kids are both now technical adults. Our son is living at home and working on an HVAC program, our daughter leaves us in June to be a camp counselor and then goes straight to college on the East Coast. Weā€™ve gotten rid of most of the CDs - Iā€™d have a hard time finding a CD player. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2018, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/74 "2018-04-11T08:42:41Z")
The first day on OKCupid, for every single question I asked, she gave exactly the right answer. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2018, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/75 "2018-04-11T10:57:21Z")
Our 15th anniversary is at the end of this month šŸ™‚ Wow, zombie thread! ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2018, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/76 "2018-04-11T13:51:03Z")
I first met my wife in the 7th grade. We were friends for a long time and dated a bit in high school, then lost contact after we graduated. She moved back into the area 12 years later, one of us came across the other on Facebook (I donā€™t remember who), and when we met up I knew it right away. Soā€¦ 17 years. . ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2018, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/77 "2018-04-11T22:03:24Z")
> [@kiz](#): > > Our 15th anniversary is at the end of this month šŸ™‚ > > Wow, zombie thread! Not a zombie, this one had a wake up after 10 years setting. So just a sleeper thread. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2018, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/78 "2018-04-11T23:26:59Z")
Sometime during the first few months of dating each other exclusively, I ā€œknew.ā€ But THE moment I remember clearly was about 10 minutes into our first date, when a comment she made about ā€œcampingā€ made me think I was on to something. I wuz right. 49 years later (48 of them married) weā€™re still each othersā€™ best friend, childless by choice, and the biggest events in our lives are still the camping trips. Of course the backpacks and canoes and 4x4 wilderness explorations have gradually been replaced with travel trailers, as befits the doddering old farts weā€™ve become. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2018, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/79 "2018-04-12T05:21:14Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Iā€™ve read that men, generally, can tell very quickly - within minutes or even seconds - whether a woman is a potential wife for them, whereas women generally take considerably longer to evaluate whether a man could make a good husband for them or not. Not so much about physical appearance, but rather, the vibes a person gives off. I have never heard Abuelitoā€™s version, but Abuelita knew in their first conversation. She worked as cashier/treasurer in her uncleā€™s store; her merchant-sailor cousin had just arrived in town and dropped by on his way home. It was supposed to be a bare ā€œhey family, my friend/coworker and I have arrived and Iā€™ll see you tonight at dinnerā€, got a tad longer than that, and that afternoon when she left work she went to light a candle asking ā€œplease let it be him!ā€ The friend/coworker aka Abuelito doesnā€™t seem to have needed much longer. After thirty years of marriage, five children, twelve grandchildren and several great-grandchildren, we can confirm it was. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2018, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577/80 "2018-04-12T14:01:38Z")
I knew the morning after we first kissed. I was still keeping a journal then, and thatā€™s what I wrote that morning. This fall will be 30 years since that kiss. Still seems to be working out. šŸ™‚ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-did-you-know-your-so-was-the-one/452577.md?page=5)