# How soon is too soon to fall in love? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 28, 2003, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-is-too-soon-to-fall-in-love/210025 "2003-10-28T14:57:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CakeOrDeath666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@CakeOrDeath666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CakeOrDeath666)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-is-too-soon-to-fall-in-love/210025/21 "2003-10-30T19:27:01Z")
Falling in love only takes a split-second. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2003, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-is-too-soon-to-fall-in-love/210025/22 "2003-10-30T20:12:31Z")
Flirting with the pallbearers at your spouse’s funeral is a little too soon, otherwise - go for it. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-is-too-soon-to-fall-in-love/210025/23 "2003-10-31T02:11:13Z")
Eh, call me a cynic, but I agree with the folks who said instant infatuation is possible, but not instant love. True love requires knowing a lot more about a person than you can possibly get from a few conversations, no matter how intense the convo is. You need to see them at their worst, in a variety of frustrating situations, and so on before you can truly say you love a person. As for her declaration of love, I would be skeptical. I think it’s very common for women to THINK they love a guy once they sleep with him. Maybe because of the social conditioning that tells us women “Nice girls don’t sleep with guys they don’t love”, that subconsciously makes them feel like they SHOULD be in lvoe with the guy they went to bed with. But I don’t think that necessarily means it’s genuine love. For every story of someone who had “love at first sight” work out, I am sure there is another story of someone who thought they were in love and it ended up being a disaster. But, hey, infatuation may grow into love, so good luck. ---
**Author:** ![ResIpsaLoquitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@ResIpsaLoquitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ResIpsaLoquitor)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-is-too-soon-to-fall-in-love/210025/24 "2003-10-31T02:28:36Z")
My fiancee and I definitely had a powerful attraction to each other on the first day we met. She saw several shooting stars, took them as a sign, and they paid off. Me, I’m a little more conservative in my emotions, but I definitely knew something was up when we spent almost the entire weekend together one week later. We were definitely in love within a month, and being vocal about it shortly thereafter. Oh, and we were engaged 8 months later. ---
**Author:** ![kevo4us](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a87d85/32.png) [@kevo4us](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevo4us)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-is-too-soon-to-fall-in-love/210025/25 "2003-10-31T02:35:09Z")
I’d say go for it. being in love is the best thing you can experience in my opinion. Besides, as long as your do anything with any long-term consquences (marriage, children…etc) if you’re still not sure, you’ll have plenty of time to figure it out. Good luck to ya:) ---
**Author:** ![Palewriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@Palewriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palewriter)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-is-too-soon-to-fall-in-love/210025/26 "2003-10-31T04:43:07Z")
Breezy’s comments were so on target that they bear repeating: “I don’t think theres a “too early” for falling in love. I think there’s a “too early” for moving in together. I think there’s a “too early” for getting married. I think there’s a “too early” for having kids. AND, I could be wrong about all of the above. But as far as falling in love, I say GO FOR IT!!!” I couldn’t agree more. - PW ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-is-too-soon-to-fall-in-love/210025/27 "2003-10-31T08:44:06Z")
Do I think that you can fall in love at first sight? You betchya. Would you break off this relationship because you discovered it wasn’t love, but rather lust or infatuation? I wouldn’t. I would relish the experience for what it was. If it’s meant to be long term, full blown love, then it will be. If not, then you’ll have a damn good memory to look back on. IMO, you are in a win-win-win situation, no matter which of the three (or a combination thereof) you are experiencing. You are not “required” to feel a certain way to intensely enjoy another person’s conversation, personality, or body. Take it for what it is, and be prepared to maturely deal with the outcome, whatever it may be. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-is-too-soon-to-fall-in-love/210025/28 "2003-11-01T20:44:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > > Would you break off this relationship because you discovered it wasn’t love, but rather lust or infatuation? I wouldn’t. I would relish the experience for what it was. If it’s meant to be long term, full blown love, then it will be. If not, then you’ll have a damn good memory to look back on. > > IMO, you are in a win-win-win situation, no matter which of the three (or a combination thereof) you are experiencing. You are not “required” to feel a certain way to intensely enjoy another person’s conversation, personality, or body. Take it for what it is, and be prepared to maturely deal with the outcome, whatever it may be. \*\* I agree with **Horseflesh** , except I do not believe in love at first sight. I believe in feeling a spark or a connection at first sight, but not love. I think love has to have time to grow. I think it can happen very quickly, in as few as a matter of hours, but not instantaneously. I also think its possible to love more than one person. I think there are many different levels of love, too. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-is-too-soon-to-fall-in-love/210025/29 "2003-11-02T06:41:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by misstee \* > \*\*I agree with **Horseflesh** , except I do not believe in love at first sight. \*\* I suppose that I should say that I don’t believe in _instant_ love (but instant attraction? Sure.) “Love at first sight” means to me how you spelled it out. It can happen over a few hours once you’ve had the chance to experience the other person’s personality. It’s happened to me before over the course of about 8 hours. The “attraction” leads to conversation (and other things), which then can lead to a whole range of feelings in the next few hours or days depending on the intensity of your interaction. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-is-too-soon-to-fall-in-love/210025/30 "2003-11-02T10:49:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Breezy \* > \*\*I don’t think theres a “too early” for falling in love. > > I think there’s a “too early” for moving in together. > > I think there’s a “too early” for getting married. > > I think there’s a “too early” for having kids. > > AND, I could be wrong about all of the above… > > But as far as falling in love, I say GO FOR IT!!! Enjoy it!! Fall head over heals, and get goofy with it! haha \*\* That souns about right. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-is-too-soon-to-fall-in-love/210025/31 "2003-11-02T15:08:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Breezy \* > \*\*I don’t think theres a “too early” for falling in love. > > I think there’s a “too early” for moving in together. > > I think there’s a “too early” for getting married. > > I think there’s a “too early” for having kids. \*\* The question is answered quite perfectly in this post. ---
**Author:** ![Phatlewt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a698b9/32.png) [@Phatlewt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phatlewt)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-is-too-soon-to-fall-in-love/210025/32 "2003-11-02T16:43:31Z")
[Love You Madly](http://www.wedge.net/loveyoumadly.html) by Cake also answers your question in song. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-soon-is-too-soon-to-fall-in-love/210025.md?page=1)