My mother is organized to a fault. She invited all three of her children over for dinner several years ago and had every item of value laid out in her living room. We were instructed to put our names on what we want when she dies. I found it very creepy. However, every last thing is in her will.
Never married, no kids, parents died, my brother gets everything. To keep it simple about two years ago feeling maudlin after a funeral I did write an informal note I left in my desk that he will find. It lists certain books, keepsakes and a few odds and ends I’d like to have given to friends. Not worth the bother for a formal will.
I had three specific things listed: my books (left to the president of my writing group), my dog (left to my neighbor), and a savings account (left to my church). Since I have neither wife nor kids, the balance went to my parents. And that was that.
One specific: a family heirloom that always goes to the eldest daughter. (Except once when the eldest daughter only had sons, so it went to the next sister’s eldest daughter.) At some point I’d like to add in something specific to go to our second kid, so she won’t feel left out, but I don’t know what yet.
I married and divorced long ago. No siblings, no children. I only have cousins who mostly ignore me, in fear that I might ask them to help in caring for my 93 year old mother.
Lord knows, I have cooked for them, entertained them at dinners and barbecues, purchased gifts for their special occasions and tried to stay in touch over the years, with no reciprocation. A couple of years ago, I took their hints and just stopped. Never heard a peep out of them, except for continued “send us a gift” invitations and announcements. I don’t hate them; I’m just indifferent.
The cousins would probably be surprised to know what I am worth. I was always a saver and managed to invest well. I’m sole inheritor of my parents’ estate. I do not live ostentatiously. I rarely travel, as being a caretaker for an elderly parent is an exhausting, full time job.
My will is very specific. It takes care of my pets and leaves nice sums to dear friends. Certain items of cash or sentimental value are listed for my executor to distribute. The rest gets sold and the remainder goes to charities allocated in percentages.
My family, such as they are (and assuming my mother passes on before me) gets nothing. They might not even know I’ve died, since there will be no visitation or funeral. I left it up to my executor to tell them or not.
Giovanni Guareschi wrote a short story about finding stickers on many items around the house. Some things would have a little round red sticker, others a little round green one, others both, others none. Turned out it was their children marking who wanted which item…
My family refers to stating that you’re interested in inheriting a particular item as “stickering it”.
This is what we have now, but, now that there are grand-kids involved I think we need to change things to include spouses/grandkids in the mix.
We down-sized a couple of years ago and the kids wanted nothing to do with our old crap, so, they can fight over who gets to throw away the left-overs we kept.