# How tall (or short) is too tall (or short) for you to find attractive? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 29, 2015, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796 "2015-06-29T17:34:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/61 "2015-06-30T01:38:52Z")
I’m sorry for **stillownedbysetters** for all the shit you took in your early years for being tall. I hadn’t heard of that. When I was in elementary school, I wasn’t aware of tall girls being shit on for being tall. And we did have a few tall ones. (To be sure, I probably wasn’t in a position to be aware of it. Does this kind of bullying go on in the girls’ locker room? I wasn’t there.) But… You (and **MoonMoon**?) dealt with this by, simultaneously, refusing to date shorter males AND wearing high heels to make yourselves even taller? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/62 "2015-06-30T01:47:11Z")
We are all entitled to not date whomever we please. That isn’t “entitlement.” ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/63 "2015-06-30T01:52:03Z")
One thing I have noticed is that even as a man, I don’t really notice women’s heights at all unless it is something really extreme but I do notice other men’s. I know my mother’s height (5’8"), my ex-wife’s (5’5") and the height of my daughters but that is only because I lived with all of them and they told me. For any others, even close family members, I would be lucky to hit within 6 inches if someone asked me while they weren’t around. I have had phone conversations with female friends and relatives when they commented about being short or tall themselves and I honestly had no idea. It is all the same thing to me for a fairly broad range. I do notice male heights instantly however. Being fairly tall at 6’1" myself, it is just odd enough for someone to be taller than me to make it something of note. I am so used to people being shorter than I am that it throws me off when I encounter the (somewhat common) exception. I was in a meeting a few weeks ago with a very tall native Swede, a man that looked like he was a former NFL Quarterback and yet another that looked like he once played center in the NBA. That was really disconcerting because I am not used to ever being the shortest person in the room. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/64 "2015-06-30T01:57:33Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > I’m 5’8". The shortest guy I’ve ever dated was 5’3", the tallest was 6’8". I’m not entirely sure I have an upper or lower limit. Similar here. I’m 5’9". The shortest guy I’ve dated was 5’6" (but he had some aggressive spinal stenosis, & I think the poor guy shrank an inch). The tallest was, um, 6’5" or so. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/65 "2015-06-30T02:01:45Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > We are all entitled to not date whomever we please. That isn’t “entitlement.” Of course. And she didn’t exactly use the word “entitlement” or “entitled” either. But she wrote “But I’ve paid the dues and earned the right to it” as if to say that this “right” is something that somebody “owes” her. That’s what I was really responding to. ETA: Nobody, myself included, “owes” or “is owed” anything to or from anybody in this business. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/66 "2015-06-30T02:06:19Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Of course. And she didn’t exactly use the word “entitlement” or “entitled” either. But she wrote “But I’ve paid the dues and earned the right to it” as if to say that this “right” is something that somebody “owes” her. That’s what I was really responding to. > > ETA: Nobody, myself included, “owes” or “is owed” anything to or from anybody in this business. No one should be judged for not being attracted to somebody else. Entitlement comes into play when people whine about others who they are attracted to who will not date them. ---
**Author:** ![bb49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b38774/32.png) [@bb49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bb49)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/67 "2015-06-30T03:23:25Z")
I was on a beach one day enjoying the sun and the scenery, and noticed a sexy looking girl not too far away. So I walked over and started talking to her. She was laying down so I sat beside her. We talked for quite awhile and seemed to hit it off pretty good, so I asked her out. She said Yes!!!🆒 Then we both stood up, and she seemed to tower over me. I’m 5’10 and she was about 6’4 at least. OMG! Did I mention that she was in med school, about her 3rd or 4th year. I took her out a few times, but I found her height and her intelligence a little intimidating and eventually we parted ways. My loss I suppose! Anyways, the city was full of shorter girls.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/68 "2015-06-30T03:37:11Z")
I’ve never considered height attractiveness but my last three relationships the men were my height or very close. I’m 5’6. It’s not that I’m not attracted to taller or shorter. I’ve just never thought about it. ---
**Author:** ![Nema98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d2c977/32.png) [@Nema98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nema98)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/69 "2015-06-30T04:02:42Z")
A 5’9 male checking in, statistically I am pretty average, walking into rooms my height will not garner attention. To really tall people I will seem short, and to very short people I come off as tall. But to most I am in the average range. I am open to dating women who are much shorter than me and those who are taller. Hard to tell what my cutoff is, I have met some women who I thought were 5’3 but told me they were 5’0. I think like plenty of people what I picture a height in real life versus on paper is different. Some will say 5’9 is small, but this is nonsense, it is actually quite a good height and is not diminutive at all. Generally I prefer a woman to not be too far off my height, I don’t like to really tower above my girlfriend. I am open to dating in the range of 5’0-6’1. So I guess women eight inches shorter and those roughly four inches taller. I’m secure with a chick being taller than me. Strange but if a woman who is say 5’10-6’0, it kind of turns me on in a weird way. Don’t know why. In my large apartment building there is an attractive young woman who is I would say no shorter 5’11, most likely 6’0-6’1, and her boyfriend is roughly my height. Seems they gave each other a chance and hit it off. I would not be opposed to dating a tall woman. Tall women vary in attractiveness, some strikingly beautiful, others pretty odd looking, for some it enhances their beauty, for other women it detracts. I think over 6’2 is too much, gives somewhat of a masculine quality. Especially with black women, I know it is stupid but for some reason very tall black women don’t look good to me, think 6’2 and above. On the flip side I don’t like if a woman is very small, to my waist. Speaking of height I think many women, especially younger ones are growing much taller, catching up with men in height. Everyday I see women my height or taller. But most are no taller than 6’1, with 6’2 plus being rare among women. Even those who are taller than me, I still am at least up to their neck if not above. So even at 5’9 most women don’t tower over me. I was swiping Tinder today and one profile was of a chick who was 6’9, and her pictures proved it. Cute gal I must say, but I would feel weird dating her, she is a foot taller than me. Too much. That must be both awesome and a drag at the same time. Something tells me a woman who is that height can’t afford to be very picky, even tall men are still much shorter. Or else she will be alone for a very, very very long time. ---
**Author:** ![Nema98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d2c977/32.png) [@Nema98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nema98)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/70 "2015-06-30T04:10:11Z")
> [@MoonMoon](#): > > I’m 5’10" (down from a high of 5’11" - curse you, settling spine) and the tallest man I’ve dated was 6’2". God, it was glorious. Almost everyone else has been my height or maybe an inch taller. Why? Because tall men generally prefer short women. In my younger days I would get incensed when I saw a short woman with a tall man, but I’ve mellowed and realized they’re allowed to have a preference, just as I am. > > I’m uncomfortable dating anyone shorter than I am, but I’m generally uncomfortable around short people. They make me slightly nervous, what with their darting about. I don’t think I have a maximum height limit, but it would be nice to find out. > > And, back before I absolutely ruined my feet with them, I regularly wore 3-4" heels. Being tall is powerful, man. I gave zero rats’ behinds whether anyone thought I “should” be wearing them or not. So you only dated a 6’2 guy as the tallest. That guy was the tallest you dated huh? Pretty tall but not that rare, may I ask how come he was the only 6’2 man you were with and why there have not be more? Assuming by your comment than not all tall men were into right? ---
**Author:** ![Nema98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d2c977/32.png) [@Nema98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nema98)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/71 "2015-06-30T05:59:09Z")
> [@Nema98](#): > > So you only dated a 6’2 guy as the tallest. That guy was the tallest you dated huh? Pretty tall but not that rare, may I ask how come he was the only 6’2 man you were with and why there have not be more? > > Assuming by your comment than not all tall men were into right? Typo, mean to say that I assume some tall men were not into you so you dated shorter men? I wonder why you could not nab any tall hunks after the 6’2 guy? ---
**Author:** ![Shakester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shakester/32/437_2.png) [@Shakester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shakester)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/72 "2015-06-30T06:57:50Z")
Male, 180cm. I have been with women ranging in height from about 150cm to a little taller than me, around 183-ish. I like petite, but don’t have a strong preference. Americans can just suck it up and learn the metric system. ---
**Author:** ![Gretchion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8edcca/32.png) [@Gretchion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gretchion)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/73 "2015-06-30T09:43:40Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Your namesake never unlimbed nobody but Anakin Not true, he unlimbed that fellow in the cantina on Tatooine who was giving Luke a hard time. You may keep your geek card, though. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/74 "2015-06-30T10:18:35Z")
As I’m 6’3", I preferentially go for tall women, 5’9" say is ideal…but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t date a really hot girl who was short, just that in isolation it’s something of a negative for me. To set an absolute limit I’d have to go to the far extremes: say, \<4’6" or \>7’ ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/75 "2015-06-30T12:00:10Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > I’m sorry for **stillownedbysetters** for all the shit you took in your early years for being tall. I hadn’t heard of that. When I was in elementary school, I wasn’t aware of tall girls being shit on for being tall. And we did have a few tall ones. (To be sure, I probably wasn’t in a position to be aware of it. Does this kind of bullying go on in the girls’ locker room? I wasn’t there.) > > But… You (and **MoonMoon**?) dealt with this by, simultaneously, refusing to date shorter males AND wearing high heels to make yourselves even taller? 😕 Yes, **stillownedbysetters** , I was bullied too. 5th-7th grade were particularly brutal for me. Stringbean, stork, giant, freak, and the ultimate pre-teen/early teen insult, I was called a “dog” by all of the cute and popular boys. This happened everywhere, **Senegoid** , not just the locker room. Maybe you weren’t very observant, or maybe it’s difficult to see other people’s torment when it’s not your own. I also refused to slouch (good job, young MoonMoon) and when I blossomed in high school those same boys thought I was “hot” but still refused to date me because I was too tall. So yeah, as much as I hate to give them power, those early experiences play into my height preferences now. Oh, and not wearing heels wasn’t going to make me any shorter, was it? I wore heels because I liked to. My focus in life wasn’t (and isn’t) to make myself as acceptable as possible to as many men as possible. ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/76 "2015-06-30T12:04:21Z")
> [@Nema98](#): > > Typo, mean to say that I assume some tall men were not into you so you dated shorter men? I wonder why you could not nab any tall hunks after the 6’2 guy? I’m not even sure how to respond to this. I wasn’t trying to “nab hunks”. The men with whom I’ve had mutual attraction have happened to be 5’10"-6’, for the most part. Most tall men, in my experience, prefer shorter women. So it has worked out that I’ve had mutual attraction with only one man who was significantly taller than me. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/77 "2015-06-30T12:16:08Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Yes I was. I thought it was extraordinary that they would consider 5’9" as short. Not so much that people have physical attributes that they find attractive or not. The article that struck me as odd and that I used as a jumping off point was far from scientific or unbiased. And I see you neglect to mention the results of my poll. Although also not scientific most said they had no problem dating men under 5’9". I’m 5’9"; when my wife (who is from the Midwest) and I moved to the Twin Cities from California, she said that I was going to have to get used to being short. I pointed out that the national average height for men was 5’9". Her response: “You’re short.” Note: She’s 5’9", too. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/78 "2015-06-30T13:07:54Z")
> [@Gretchion](#): > > Not true, he unlimbed that fellow in the cantina on Tatooine who was giving Luke a hard time. > > You may keep your geek card, though. Why do you say these like this when you know I will kill you for it? Never mind. You can explain it to the bees. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/79 "2015-06-30T13:46:54Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > I’m 5’9"; when my wife (who is from the Midwest) and I moved to the Twin Cities from California, she said that I was going to have to get used to being short. I pointed out that the national average height for men was 5’9". Her response: “You’re short.” Note: She’s 5’9", too. The article that was posted that listed 5’9" as being the limit for women was using data from a dating website. And it was only for Manhattan. In Manhattan if you put your parameters as living a few miles away you are still talking about potentially millions of people. In retrospect it makes sense that women in Manhattan would narrow their parameters more than in other places. ---
**Author:** ![Gretchion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8edcca/32.png) [@Gretchion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gretchion)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2015, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796/80 "2015-06-30T17:00:02Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Why do you say these like this when you know I will kill you for it? > > Never mind. You can explain it to the bees. I will. They are all under my command, after all. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-tall-or-short-is-too-tall-or-short-for-you-to-find-attractive/723796.md?page=5)