# How "The Big Bang Theory" should end.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-the-big-bang-theory-should-end/630628>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [August 6, 2012, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-the-big-bang-theory-should-end/630628 "2012-08-06T16:39:40Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
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**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\
**Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-the-big-bang-theory-should-end/630628/1 "2012-08-06T16:39:40Z")

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Mrs. Wolowitz visits Amy Farrah Fowler’s lab and is killed when her voice incites an attack by a group of enraged howler monkeys.

Howard and Bernadette realize that between the two of them they have all the skills and resources needed to be the villain in a James Bond film. Bernadette begins work on a superbacteria which Howard will release into the upper atmosphere from the toilet on the International Space Station. They move into a dormant volcano they found on craigslist.

Penny gets a job as a seat-filler at the Academy Awards and wins a part in a Martin Scorsese movie when she crashes the Vanity Fair after party and starts hustling chess. She’s a hit in the Scorsese picture and achieves fame and fortune as an actress.

Amy Farrah Fowler wins the Nobel Prize for her groundbreaking work describing cooperative tool use in lower primates that took place in the tragic beating of Mrs. Wolowitz.

Raj marries a loud, obnoxious woman he meets in Las Vegas and finally overcomes his mutism just long enough to tell her “quiet!” The wife is played by Lisa Kudrow.

Leonard becomes an author after his first piece “Roommate Agreement” is published to great acclaim. The New York Times Review of Books calls it “a scathing, satirical deconstruction of pretty much everytihng.”

Sheldon marries Amy so that by community property laws he will have half of her Nobel Prize, which may come in handy as a tiebreaker between him and Marie Curie.  
In the final scene, Leonard and Sheldon are moving out; they are leaving for the last time and the apartment is bare, except for one thing hanging on the door.

LEONARD Aren’t you going to take your dartboard?

SHELDON I don’t play darts. That was here when I moved in.

(exit)

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