# How the fuck do I even leadership? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 5, 2015, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-the-fuck-do-i-even-leadership/719340 "2015-05-05T21:56:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2015, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-the-fuck-do-i-even-leadership/719340/21 "2015-05-07T00:58:55Z")
My type of work allowed a lot of latitude, I made an effort to not stick people in the same job every time. If you have that kind of flexibility, use it, I think people prefer variety (I know I did). I had assertiveness issues at first, so I took the low-key quasi-passive-aggressive approach, as in “this needs to be done” rather than “_do this_” – if people feel like they are working with you as opposed to working for you, that can be effective. And do pay attention, listen to your team. The larger job is yours, you cannot accomplish it without them, at least not short of wrecking yourself, so avoid needlessly putting them in situations they do not like if at all possible. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2015, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-the-fuck-do-i-even-leadership/719340/22 "2015-05-07T02:43:51Z")
Think of the best boss you have ever had, or that you would like to have. Then lead like that person. ---
**Author:** ![PatriotGrrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9dc877/32.png) [@PatriotGrrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotGrrrl)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2015, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-the-fuck-do-i-even-leadership/719340/23 "2015-05-07T02:45:33Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > I know the thread title is just a typo, but I’m amused to imagine the OP frantically running around his workplace, randomly grabbing people and shouting, “How the f–k do I leadership!?” > > It makes me think of, “Kenneth, what is the frequency?” I’m amused to imagine you going around grabbing people to tell them that cats can have cheeseburgers but they cannot “has” them and that the correct spelling of lulz is ‘laughs’. ---
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2015, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-the-fuck-do-i-even-leadership/719340/24 "2015-05-07T16:01:17Z")
Many years ago I was promoted above people I had worked with for years, some were there longer than I was. The hardest part was sometimes your instinct as a friend and instinct as a boss will come into conflict and you need to choose Boss which can feel wrong but is the right call. You will need to sometimes be respectful but stern with people. It could be difficult at first but it gets easier with time. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2015, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-the-fuck-do-i-even-leadership/719340/25 "2015-05-07T16:39:28Z")
> [@Quimby](#): > > You will need to sometimes be respectful but stern with people. It could be difficult at first but it gets easier with time. Before getting stern, make sure you and your employee have the same idea of what the priorities are for their job. I remember once coming into my managers office for a semi-annual performance review and being confronted with a list of ‘issues’ and being astounded, because they were all things I considered trivialities – nothing to do with the major parts of my job. But – surprise! – they were important to my manager. And all surprises, because he hadn’t mentioned them over the past 6 months. Performance reviews should never contain surprises. You & the employee should have the same understanding of their high-priority tasks. (In writing!) And if there are issues about some of them, you should have been reminding the employee about them quite often. P.S. You might get more suggestions from people if you didn’t use words like “fuck” in the title of this thread. Because of that, every email about this thread gets routed to my ‘porn’ junk mail folder; I expect many people’s email filters just discard it entirely. ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2015, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-the-fuck-do-i-even-leadership/719340/26 "2015-05-07T16:59:16Z")
Leadership: talk with the people you have to work with. Identify the goals your business needs to obtain and clearly explain them to the people who need to work towards them. Keep praise public and criticism private. Ask questions that help guide people towards solutions. Keep talking with people - make sure they know you are limited in your powers and _never make a promise you can’t keep._ One of the most powerful tools you have is friendly advice offered honestly. Keep people clearly informed of both what is expected of them and suggest ways they can improve their existence within the company. Keep it positive, within reason. Do not lie. If you can’t say, say “I can’t say.” _Your reputation, once earned, cannot be changed and shall always precede you._ ---
**Author:** ![Lowdown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Lowdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lowdown)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-the-fuck-do-i-even-leadership/719340/27 "2015-05-08T19:30:09Z")
If you’re serious, this is my best and most sincere advice, Google: “Army FM 22-100” (or 6-22) You should be able to find a .PDF pretty easily. That’s one of the manuals they use to teach new NCOs how to lead people. ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-the-fuck-do-i-even-leadership/719340/28 "2015-05-08T19:57:08Z")
Read this book: [First, Break All the Rules: What the World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently](http://www.amazon.com/First-Break-All-Rules-Differently/dp/0684852861/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8) It really helped me when I got my first management job. It’s all about making people excel at their strengths and ignore their weaknesses (instead of the usual claptrap about improving weaknesses). Then read: [How to Win Friends and Influence People](http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671027034/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1431114927&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+win+friends+and+influence+people) The Army thing looks pretty good, too. [Here’s a direct link](https://fas.org/irp/doddir/army/fm6-22.pdf). ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2015, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-the-fuck-do-i-even-leadership/719340/29 "2015-05-08T21:59:45Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Intimidation is the worst sort of ‘leadership’, and is usually practiced by those who have risen past their own level of competency. A micro-manager is someone who is insecure in his own job and makes others feel incompetent to compensate. Don’t engage in either tactic unless it’s absolutely necessary. > > You can be a good manager without being a good leader, and usually good management results in you becoming a leader. > > A good manager sets goals and follows up on the progress of those he manages to make sure their projects are on schedule. When somebody above you wants to know project status, you must be able to tell him precisely what it is. > > A good manager acts as a buffer between upper management and those who work for him. > > A good manager knows and understands company policies. > > A good manager will settle minor disputes before they turn into battles. All of these are really good points. A few more A good manager is a good listener. Hear what people are telling you, the good and the bad. Especially be able to hear the bad news. Refusing to believe that a project is having problems does not make them go away. A manager is going to learn stuff that he or she cannot share. However you can interpret what higher level management wants in terms that people can understand. A lot of the PHB syndrome comes from top management doing things for good reasons, but reasons that only they can see. Not always, but more often than you’d think. A good manager steps away from the direct work, even if she can do it better than her reports. This is tough. But maybe the most important thing: have you ever been in meetings where people talk past each other and nothing gets decided? You can stop this. You need to keep meetings on track, and you need to make decisions. This is especially hard when it is about something you aren’t comfortable with. You’re going to have to feel out which side is more plausible, and also who in your group knows best about the problem. Oh, and you are going to have to admit mistakes. I had a director once that everyone loved because he came down and said he screwed up when he did. Doing this does not destroy your credibility, it adds to it especially when you did screw up. And you will. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-the-fuck-do-i-even-leadership/719340.md?page=1)