# How to answer "Do you know how fast you were going?" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 27, 2011, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472 "2011-12-27T00:58:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/81 "2011-12-27T23:45:19Z")
> [@lurkedtolong](#): > > Ticketed 1 time $580 speeding ticket. Holy COW! Is that what speeding tickets cost these days? I had no idea they were that expensive. Or were you doing 100 in a 25 zone or something? ---
**Author:** ![Time\_Like\_Tears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df705f/32.png) [@Time\_Like\_Tears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Time_Like_Tears)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/82 "2011-12-28T01:04:27Z")
“Well, no officer - but my speedometer tops out at 90.” Florida state trooper asked me this question, and that was my answer. Long straight stretch of highway, no other traffic. He looked at me, blinked twice, and busted into a grin. Told me to slow it down and sent me on my way. =D ---
**Author:** ![Cugel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cugel/32/1199_2.png) [@Cugel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cugel)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/83 "2011-12-28T04:05:13Z")
[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:81, topic:607472”] Holy COW! Is that what speeding tickets cost these days? I had no idea they were that expensive. Or were you doing 100 in a 25 zone or something? [/QUOTE] Could make an interesting thread. Where I live (Canberra), it’s: 0-15 km/h over - $162 16-30 $253 31-45 $664 +45 $1181 plus demerit points. There’s no “Where’s the fire?” questions, the first you know of it is when the infringement notice shows up in the post. Though presumably actual collars are still felt as well. ---
**Author:** ![slm2955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/84 "2011-12-28T04:14:38Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > You can answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’. The details don’t matter because you’re getting the ticket anyway. Exactly. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/85 "2011-12-28T04:21:50Z")
“Slower than Nolan Ryan’s curveball” got me a chuckle and a warning after getting caught going 75 on Rt. 288 in Alvin, TX. With my NJ plates, I thought I was doomed. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/86 "2011-12-28T04:29:33Z")
> [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](#): > > The correct answer to any question that is not about registration, insurance and identification is a dumb look. 😛 (cop): “How much have you had to drink tonight, sir?” (Paul in Qatar): _dumb look_ (cop): “Shut off your engine and step out of your vehicle sir.” ---
**Author:** ![JustinC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justinc/32/8083_2.png) [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/87 "2011-12-28T06:14:13Z")
“No, but if you’d hum a few bars maybe I can fake it.” I’ve not tried this one but would be tempted. I’ve only once been pulled for speeding, though, in 20 years of driving. It was around 3am and my girlfriend and I were driving back from a club in London - I was sober so my foot was a bit heavy. The cop walked up to my window, bent down to look me in the eye (and smell my breath he said later) and said “Confucius say don’t speed with police car behind you”. I imagine ours was the dumbest looks he’d seen all year. We were let off with a warning (I was maybe 20mph over the limit on an empty, albeit twisty, road) that speeding on that road was dangerous at night. ---
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/88 "2011-12-28T07:11:19Z")
“Been waiting all day here for you, son” “Got here as fast as I could” He was let off. This was a real life incident quoted in a readers digest issue. Still makes me chuckle. ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/89 "2011-12-28T07:47:41Z")
> [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > “Slower than Nolan Ryan’s curveball” got me a chuckle and a warning after getting caught going 75 on Rt. 288 in Alvin, TX. With my NJ plates, I thought I was doomed. +1 🆒 In Alvin? With NJ plates to boot?! :eek: You must’ve caught him on a ‘good day’! Alvin (and for that matter, all of Hwy 288 from Houston to Freeport) is notorious for being one long speed trap. Albeit, it’s not as bad as it used to be. Ever since Texas amended the laws (correct term?) so that a city or town could only receive a small percentage of their total budget from traffic fines, the route has become a little more ‘driver friendly’. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/90 "2011-12-28T13:26:54Z")
> [@Cugel](#): > > There’s no “Where’s the fire?” questions… I actually did have a cop ask me that as his opening line after pulling me over for speeding. He was going one way, and my friend and I (on separate motorcycles) were doing about 60 in a 45 in the opposite direction on a divided four-lane road; we actually got to a gas station and started refueling our bikes when the cop came roaring into the station with his lights and sirens on, stepped out and asked us “where’s the fire?” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/91 "2011-12-28T14:13:17Z")
> [@JustinC](#): > > “No, but if you’d hum a few bars maybe I can fake it.” I hope I never get pulled over again, but if I do and the cop asks me “Do you know how fast you were going?” this is the answer I’ll give. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/92 "2011-12-28T14:27:52Z")
“Yes, but I’d be very interested in your opinion on the matter, officer.” ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/93 "2011-12-28T14:29:11Z")
“Well, a few miles per hour slower than you were, apparently.” Not that I’m brave enough to try that one on. Havn’t been stopped for many years, but like others here, the one I always got was, “Do you know why I stopped you?” For that one, the answer always, always, always is: “No, sir, haven’t a clue.” ETA: dang, trumped by post 54. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/94 "2011-12-28T14:44:58Z")
> [@SeaCanary](#): > > So I’m driving along, the police car behind me turns on its light bar and I pull over. The police officer walks up and asks, “Do you know how fast you were going?” And I say I lost track, distracted as I was by all the drugs under the seat and the loaded gun in my waistband and the dead hooker in my trunk. And so the rookie excitedly radios for backup, and the sheriff and the SWAT team arrive for the bust of the year – and find no hooker, and no gun, and no drugs. _“He probably told you I was speeding, too.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Heropsychodreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Heropsychodreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heropsychodreamer)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/95 "2011-12-28T15:49:55Z")
I was the passenger in a car my friend was driving. He is a very responsible adult, but just a carefree type of guy. He was going about 60 in a 40 or 45 and got pulled over. The cop asked him one or two questions and my friend just tells him, and I quote “Could you just give me the god-damn ticket already?” The officer did. So don’t try that line, even though I think I laughed for the rest of the ride. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/96 "2011-12-28T16:13:21Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > I never break the speed limit, not even “technically” (whatever that means in this context), and I’ve never been rear-ended. Oh. You’re that guy. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/97 "2011-12-28T16:26:24Z")
> [@JBDivmstr](#): > > +1 🆒 > > In Alvin? With NJ plates to boot?! :eek: You must’ve caught him on a ‘good day’! > Alvin (and for that matter, all of Hwy 288 from Houston to Freeport) is notorious for being one long speed trap. > Albeit, it’s not as bad as it used to be. > Ever since Texas amended the laws (correct term?) so that a city or town could only receive a small percentage of their total budget from traffic fines, the route has become a little more ‘driver friendly’. 😉 I had a summer internship in Angleton. I think he let me go because I was the ‘poor college student’. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/98 "2011-12-28T18:28:09Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > You are relying on an overly narrow definition of [“incriminate.”](http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/incriminate) > > The bottom line is that you don’t have to confess your violation of the law to the officer, but if you do - whether that violation was a misdemeanor, a felony, or something else - that confession can be used as evidence against you. Meh. I look at the root of the word and it seems to me an overly dramatic term to use in reference to a minor traffic violation. Perhaps a less evocative choice of words would have been _implicate_. The bottom line is there is no court appearance required unless you contest the citation and if you plan on contesting it, admitting to the violation would obviously be counter-intuitive. In many areas, it’s a waste of money for traffic enforcement officers to even show up in court for minor violations. If there’s physical evidence of speeding, it’s probably not going to matter whether you admit to it to the officer’s face or not. It’s a minor nitpick, really, so there’s no point in debating it further. ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/99 "2011-12-28T19:47:56Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > _ **I never break the speed limit, not even “technically”** _ (whatever that means in this context), and I’ve never been rear-ended. (bolding mine) _ **“Never”?!** _ :dubious: Even if all other vehicles, in every lane available, are moving at a higher rate of speed than the maximum ‘posted’ speed limit? I for one, sincerely hope that you do not drive on any ‘major’ roadways, if at all possible. (Especially the ones that I frequently drive on.) If you’re moving at a significantly slower speed than the majority of the vehicles, IMHO you’re not only a _ **hindrance** _ to the smooth flow of traffic, \*\*\*you are a hazard to all! \*\*\* :mad: > [@](#): > > and I’ve never been rear-ended. I would be willing to hazard a bet that this will not be true at some point in the future, if you continue to drive as you say you do. Your statement induces me to ask a few questions, if you would be so kind. 😕 What is your age? Gender? General location? Driving experience? (i.e. How long have you been driving? How many miles (approx.) have you driven?) Majority of driving type? (i.e. Hwy? Inner city? Countryside (sparsely populated areas)?) ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2011, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472/100 "2011-12-28T19:52:38Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > And I say I lost track, distracted as I was by all the drugs under the seat and the loaded gun in my waistband and the dead hooker in my trunk. And so the rookie excitedly radios for backup, and the sheriff and the SWAT team arrive for the bust of the year – and find no hooker, and no gun, and no drugs. _“He probably told you I was speeding, too.”_ 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-do-you-know-how-fast-you-were-going/607472.md?page=6)