# How to answer questions about ethnic background **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 17, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-questions-about-ethnic-background/503372 "2009-07-17T18:49:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-questions-about-ethnic-background/503372/41 "2009-07-20T19:40:21Z")
> [@vandal](#): > > Really? Asking a stranger about their ethnic background is kind of personal? Maybe it’s just me, but I have yet to meet someone who isn’t open to talking about their ethnicity. And, if someone answered with “that’s none of your business,” all I would be thinking is, “Wow, sorry I asked! Please accept my apologies for taking in interest in getting to know you!” I’d be wary about it, because the implication is that some conclusion will be drawn from knowing someone’s ethnicity, and that’s not necessarily a legitimate judgment to make. On the one hand, it’s interesting to hear how ethnicities have mixed and made the physical look in front of you, but then will the asker draw some conclusion (favorable or unfavorable, but not neutral) beyond the physical about the person based on the answer? ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-questions-about-ethnic-background/503372/42 "2009-07-20T21:03:37Z")
Heh. When I was a kid, we moved around quite a bit, and when we moved to Texas, my mother’s strong Polish accent really seemed to throw people. She got tired of people constantly asking her, “Where are you from?” She’d often answer, “I’m from Connecticut,” since that’s where we’d moved from. She got kind of a kick - and kind of a :dubious: reaction - out of the fact that some people seemed to accept that this was, in fact, how those damn Yankees all talk “up there.” Also, upon moving to Texas my first teacher had a very strong East Texas accent. She and my mother could only just barely understand each other. It was fun. For the OP: if people really do use the phrasing “What are you?” to your face, then I suppose you could answer, “Not … whatever you are.” (Tone of voice must indicate that you suppose they could be a pickle, or a Martian. You’re just not sure.) ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-questions-about-ethnic-background/503372/43 "2009-07-20T21:12:45Z")
> [@vandal](#): > > So how do strangers become friendly with one another without ever revealing anything about themselves? How do I determine if a woman I just met can be a potential girlfriend if she thinks her ethnicity is none of my business? How do I make friends if I’m uncomfortable telling others what my ethnicity is? Why does ethnicity matter - you said you were sino-german, so you won’t date anybody that is not either chinese or german? you will _not_ date anybody who is chinese or german? you will only date afrikaaners? You refuse to make friends with irish? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-questions-about-ethnic-background/503372/44 "2009-07-20T21:14:14Z")
Tell them you’re Assyrian. ---
**Author:** ![vandal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/858c86/32.png) [@vandal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vandal)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-questions-about-ethnic-background/503372/45 "2009-07-20T23:13:39Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > I’d be wary about it, because the implication is that some conclusion will be drawn from knowing someone’s ethnicity, and that’s not necessarily a legitimate judgment to make. On the one hand, it’s interesting to hear how ethnicities have mixed and made the physical look in front of you, but then will the asker draw some conclusion (favorable or unfavorable, but not neutral) beyond the physical about the person based on the answer? Don’t we draw conclusions based on pretty much everything we learn about people we just met? During the course of a conversation with someone new, we learn things about them we may or may not find favorable, right? So what are we supposed to do? Never reveal anything about ourselves because we’re too afraid of being judged? If someone doesn’t like me, or thinks less of me, just based on the ethnicity I am, then fuck them. Why would I want to associate with someone like that anyway? If they’re the type to dismiss someone based on their ethnicity, then at the very least, it lets me know whether or not I’m wasting my time by continuing to talk to them. > [@aruvqan](#): > > Why does ethnicity matter - you said you were sino-german, so you won’t date anybody that is not either chinese or german? you will _not_ date anybody who is chinese or german? you will only date afrikaaners? You refuse to make friends with irish? > > :dubious: It doesn’t matter. I’ll date any female of any race, as well as make friends with anyone. Reading back what I said, I now realize how it sounded. What I was trying to say was that during the course of a typical courtship, you try to find out as much information as possible about your partner to determine if the two of you would be compatible. And, if she balks at an innocuous question such as her ethnicity, all it would do is raise a red flag for me. I’d be thinking, if she has trouble answering that one, then how would she react if I went even more personal? I used this as an example because I’m sure that every couple knows their partner’s ethnicity. At some point during the relationship, someone had to ask, right? Most of the time, it’s within the first few dates. At this stage, the two are still relative strangers, and yet, someone still asks. It’s usually not because they’re “screening” them, but rather, just idle curiosity, to make small talk, and/or to generate a new conversational thread. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-questions-about-ethnic-background/503372/46 "2009-07-21T02:01:04Z")
Hey Wookin, do you have _any_ idea where your biological ancestors came from? Do take the test and let us know! I think it’s fun to connect to our history in that way. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-questions-about-ethnic-background/503372/47 "2009-07-21T12:53:19Z")
> [@JillGat](#): > > Hey Wookin, do you have _any_ idea where your biological ancestors came from? Do take the test and let us know! I think it’s fun to connect to our history in that way. Unfortunately, no. I look sort of like a lot of things but not quite enough of any one thing to make a confident guess. If I had the resources I could probably find out but even the site you provided is out of my budget at the moment. And just to comment on the issue of peoples’ motivation for asking about my ethnicity, I’ve always taken it as simple curiosity. It’s never occured to me that they might be screening me and my only discomfort with the question is that I feel like sort of a dumbass for having to make a big old production out of it rather than just answering like most people do. Some of the suggestions you guys have given me are awesome, though! ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-questions-about-ethnic-background/503372/48 "2009-07-21T14:35:21Z")
I answer that I am human and let it go at that. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-questions-about-ethnic-background/503372/49 "2009-07-21T16:56:20Z")
> [@vandal](#): > > Don’t we draw conclusions based on pretty much everything we learn about people we just met? Yes, like you hear “I like books and reading” and conclude “She likes books and reading”. Not like “I am German” and conclude “She is a rigid emotionless cyborg who likes bratwurst.” ---
**Author:** ![vandal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/858c86/32.png) [@vandal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vandal)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-questions-about-ethnic-background/503372/50 "2009-07-21T17:25:49Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Yes, like you hear “I like books and reading” and conclude “She likes books and reading”. Not like “I am German” and conclude “She is a rigid emotionless cyborg who likes bratwurst.” Exactly. Which brings me back to my point of, if that’s how you honestly feel, then you’re someone who I don’t want to associate with. I could just as easily conclude that by liking books and reading, you are boring, keep to yourself, and your idea of a fun time is spending a day at the library. I mean, come on, we could go on all day with these. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-questions-about-ethnic-background/503372/51 "2009-07-21T17:31:01Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I get “Where are you from?” a lot–which is often just another way to ask about ethnicity. I know this because the real answer is never satisfactory. "No, where are you _from?"_? Then I’ll say I’m a black American and that shuts them up good (unless they’re real nosy and they’ll ask if I’m biracial). Yeah, it’s kind of obnoxious when it’s not really “Where are you from?” but “Why aren’t you white?” ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-questions-about-ethnic-background/503372/52 "2009-07-21T17:42:21Z")
Just tell them you aren’t sure, you’re just a good ole’ American mutt. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2009, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-questions-about-ethnic-background/503372/53 "2009-07-21T23:32:21Z")
> [@Queen\_Tonya](#): > > …and once there was a couple who swore up and down he was Burmese, whatever the hell that means. Burma’s a country in Asia, sorta between China and Thailand. I have a feeling I may have been wooshed > [@Queen\_Tonya](#): > > …Now that he’s a teenager, his favorite answer is MesoAmerican. It’s really not very accurate at all, but he likes it, and of course most of the people asking have no idea what it means anyway. Hee! Love that! Back when I was a snotty teenager, I started telling people I was from the Islets of Langerhans when they wouldn’t stop asking me about my accent. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-answer-questions-about-ethnic-background/503372.md?page=2)