# How to Approach Concessions Required of Us as We Age **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 4, 2025, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878 "2025-05-04T23:54:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2025, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/61 "2025-05-07T19:53:24Z")
> [@Tride](#): > > just moved down from 10,000’ to 5400’, Just gotta give this a good 😲 How many of you banging around in that cozy cottage? ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2025, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/62 "2025-05-07T19:57:37Z")
Pretty sure he is talking moving down in feet of elevation, not square feet of living space. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2025, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/63 "2025-05-07T21:02:52Z")
Ah. Where is that head smack emoji when you need it? ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/64 "2025-05-08T01:08:50Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > Where is that head smack emoji when you need it? Probably over on my keyboard where I need it a lot more often than you do 😜 ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/65 "2025-05-08T03:44:56Z")
Keeping it until you are gone (either dead or in a much smaller dwelling) is an option. If you want to make life easier for your executor, you could look into services that will dispose of it when you aren’t using it any more. That could be anything from an auction house to a guy who cleans out houses (or some combination of them.) I found cleaning out my mom’s stuff sad, but also sentimental. And we (I’m one of 4 siblings) kept a lot of odds and ends. But the real boon was that the realtor who helped us sell the place gave me the name of a guy who made everything go away after we were done with wheat we wanted and what we could sell. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/66 "2025-05-08T04:12:25Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Keeping it until you are gone (either dead or in a much smaller dwelling) is an option. Yes, I think this is what I’m striving toward. I’ll dispose of all the superfluous flotsam and jetsam so that whenever my future path becomes more clear, I’ll be ready to jump – or if things are bad and these decisions must be left to another person, the required effort to clear out and sell will be minimal. I prefer antiques to newer furniture and have some really special pieces from my great grandparents. An auction house or specialty cleaner could give me an idea of what appeal (if any) they would have and I can either sell ahead or leave them until I’m out of the picture. It breaks my heart to think of my great grandad’s old oak kitchen table or beautifully refinished oak Hoosier cabinet being tossed in a landfill, but if I’m dead, I won’t be able to object. All of it is terribly sentimental, and I’d like to offer it to friends before taking other options. For now, I’m whittling away at the extra photographs that no one wants or cares about, the detritus that collects in drawers and cabinets and making lists of what can be offered to whom. Just getting a handle on everything is helpful. Like the old saying goes: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. 🙂 Thanks for the excellent suggestions. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/67 "2025-05-08T04:19:33Z")
I have several pieces of custom-made furniture. The dining room table that has good legroom and also neatly holds its extra leaves is especially nice. Nice enough that that i took a lot of photos so a different cabinet maker could do something similar when he made the kitchen table, which doubles as a super bridge table. I also have a living room side table that was my great aunt’s, and was made by her uncle. I suspect no one will want those when we are done with them. 😢 At least i know we’ve gotten a lot of use out of them. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/68 "2025-05-08T05:13:44Z")
> [@Railer13](#): > > The problem is that some boxes, especially Amazon boxes, are REALLY GOOD BOXES. We keep boxes because it is a family tradition to hide Christmas presents in boxes to delay the discovery of what they are. So saving boxes all year is a habit. Now, we haven’t had Christmas at our house for seven or eight years, but you never know. We save rubber bands from the (print) newspaper, but when the bag fills up we bring them to the elementary school across the street where the office staff is happy to get them. > [@LSLGuy](#): > > Most folks who survive to age 65 make it to 80-something. Call it 85 for simplicity. An 85yo dying this year was born in 1940. So never saw the Depression themselves, but were raised by people who had just escaped it. And at least among Americans, who found that Depression-era shortages were quickly replaced with wartime rationing shortages. So their scrimping and crimping ways were reinforced until about 1945. Then the cornucopia let loose. > > IMO The median Doper is a child of that crowd. I was born in 1951, but my father’s father, who owned a restaurant, died early and when the Depression hit his mother lost everything. He was in fairly good shape when I was born, but old habits die hard. I remembered him as I was scraping the very last bit out of a nearly empty mayonnaise jar the other day. Wasting food is a sin. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/69 "2025-05-08T07:47:12Z")
This is so true. Love me an Amazon box. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/70 "2025-05-08T08:30:57Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > In my many years flying I sat through a LOT of discussions with other older pilots dealing with their parents’ infirmity and increasing obstinateness. It seems that stubbornness is a useful prerequisite for long life; it prevents minor setbacks from spiraling someone into a depressive state. Folks stay healthy enough by sheer force of will. But … > > Along the way, stubborn turns into denial that aging is even occurring to them. They are immortal; blissfully safe as a fully functional 60yo despite their 80+yo body and mind. Then they’re really screwed. > > I know the OP is not waay out in ruralia, but they’re also not right in town. > From the stories I’ve heard, living on a farm, even one with no crops beyond grass and no livestock beyond pets, having outbuildings and chores and such, makes the moving process monumentally harder, which means it needs to start a LOT earlier in anyone’s personal decline curve. Like 5 -10 years earlier. I worry a bit about that with my dad in his 80s as he lives alone in the 4BR suburban home where I grew up. But he is in good shape mentally and physically and has lots of friends in the area he is active with so it’s not really a concern. My wife’s elderly family is another matter entirely. Her dad isn’t all there mentally and her mom is getting not all there mentally, severely injured her knee and they ARE out in ruralia ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/71 "2025-05-08T14:07:01Z")
We’re 60 and 58, living in a colonial. The main floor is living room, dining room, and kitchen. Bedrooms and bathroom are upstairs, with laundry and another bathroom in the basement. We can walk in to the basement from the deck/patio outside. I can imagine a time when this won’t work, but my wife’s parents are in their eighties and still living on three levels. ---
**Author:** ![TRC4941](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trc4941/32/6792_2.png) [@TRC4941](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TRC4941)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/72 "2025-05-08T14:33:42Z")
Someone mentioned photographs. That’s another quandary we have. My mom has photo albums with pictures dating back to the 20s. Pictures of my grandparents when they were young, my grandpa as a young soldier in WWII, my mom and her siblings, my parents as young newlyweds, our childhoods, just so many pictures. There has to be close to 75 albums. Then there are also 10 boxes of slides in the trays. We all have our own shelves overloaded with our own photo albums. We have no room. I could never just throw them away, those pictures are our history. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/73 "2025-05-08T14:59:56Z")
As far as old photos - I got a subscription to My Heritage to build a family tree and the subscription includes enhancement (fixing scratches, etc) and colorizing so I’m scanning and repairing the old photos. ---
**Author:** ![Pork\_Rind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pork_rind/32/111_2.png) [@Pork\_Rind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pork_Rind)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/74 "2025-05-08T15:02:17Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > I have a very modest fossil collections I plan on bequeathing to my niece. It’s durable enough that she won’t have to take great care with it and I plan on including instructions that she’s free to dispose of the collection as she sees fit. Give the young ones in your family instructions on how and where to re-bury those fossils in scientifically improbable locations. Just think of all the PhD theses you could posthumously inspire! ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/75 "2025-05-08T16:13:32Z")
> [@P-man](#): > > my wife’s parents are in their eighties and still living on three levels. Good for them. My mid-50s ankle fracture - and difficulties with my wife’s parent’s as they aged, made clear to me the challenges that might present should either of us find stairs difficult. My desire to remain independent is one of the prime motivators in my continuing to exercise. I do not understand how overweight out-of-shape elderly do it! ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/76 "2025-05-08T16:38:25Z")
I am 63 and just had an estate sale that actually turned out to be a decluttering sale. The estate company overpriced my best stuff so high that even on the last day at 50% off no one wanted to touch it. Still I sold $20K worth of junk I didn’t really care to have around. anymore, so good riddance I say. The stuff that didn’t sale I have been putting on Facebook market, I ended up getting more from them there than I would have at the estate sale since they would have taken 50% of the sale price. I am now awaiting for the estate company to sell a number of small items online. One of which is a Native American arrowhead collection that I knew would not sale for much at my house, but could bring high dollar at an online sale. I also have an ivory netsuke collection, jewelery that was worth more than melt value and numerous other small collectables. We will see how that goes but I anticipate another $10K in sales. When I do decide to sell the rest I will just have an auction company come and clear out the house. Most likely this fall before I move over to the Philippines. ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/77 "2025-05-08T17:32:19Z")
> [@TRC4941](#): > > There has to be close to 75 albums. My Mom left behind about 30 photo albums. After she passed, I took it upon myself to scan the photographs. I used a product called Scanspeeder, which made the process much easier, as I could scan multiple photos at one scan. I found I could finish an album in 90-120 minutes, and I spaced the process out over a 3-4 month period. I found some treasures that I will keep, and I also found some photos that I determined didn’t need to be scanned.. I copied the end product to USB drives and gave them to my siblings. When I finally discard the albums, I won’t feel much regret. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/78 "2025-05-08T17:47:26Z")
> [@Railer13](#): > > I used a product called Scanspeeder, which made the process much easier, as I could scan multiple photos at one scan. This is a really useful tip! I’m going to look into it! ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2025, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/79 "2025-05-08T18:05:59Z")
> [@Aspenglow](#): > > I’m going to look into it! I just looked online. The ‘Pro’ version (which you will certainly need) is $39.95. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2025, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878/80 "2025-05-09T01:15:30Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > Will be a shame to see that no one wants several rooms of Stickley furniture that we spent 10s of thousands on, but those are sunk costs. Ping me if you reach that point! I may be interested in something, depending on the specifics. Of course that’s if we haven’t moved to Canada by then… If you are serious about just giving a bunch of stuff away, I know a refugee mutual aid org which would be happy to take stuff off your hands if it still exists by that point. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-approach-concessions-required-of-us-as-we-age/1017878.md?page=5)