# How To Avoid Shark Attacks **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 27, 2002, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326 "2002-03-27T04:27:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![havocspawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b19c9b/32.png) [@havocspawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/havocspawn)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/1 "2002-03-27T04:27:40Z")
STEP 1: THRASH AROUND IN THE WATER SHARKS HATE LOUD NOISES. STEP2: LOOK AS MUCH LIKE A SEAL AS POSSIBLE SHARKS ARE SEALS MAIN DIET SO SHARKS WILL FLEE AT THE SIGHT OF ONE. STEP3:CUT YOUR SELF AND BLEED IN TO THE WATER SHARKS HATE THE SMELL OF BLOOD. STEP4: MOST IMPORTANT THING MAKE LOVE TO A JELLY FISH. IF U DO THE FOLLOWING THINGS U WILL NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT SHARK ATTACKS! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ringmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9e8a1a/32.png) [@ringmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ringmaster)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/2 "2002-03-27T04:29:40Z")
I like all of them accept the jelly fish one. How do you do that? ---
**Author:** ![havocspawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b19c9b/32.png) [@havocspawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/havocspawn)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/3 "2002-03-27T04:33:49Z")
JELLY FISH ARE VERY SENSUAL AND LOVING CREATERS OF THE DEPTHS THERE ALWAYS IN THE MOOD FOR LOVIN 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ringmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9e8a1a/32.png) [@ringmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ringmaster)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/4 "2002-03-27T04:36:38Z")
I think I would be willing to try it at least once. I think protection is a fundamental part of love making with a jelly fish. ---
**Author:** ![havocspawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b19c9b/32.png) [@havocspawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/havocspawn)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/5 "2002-03-27T04:36:45Z")
did u read the email ---
**Author:** ![ringmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9e8a1a/32.png) [@ringmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ringmaster)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/6 "2002-03-27T04:38:05Z")
Get on messenger. ---
**Author:** ![havocspawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b19c9b/32.png) [@havocspawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/havocspawn)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/7 "2002-03-27T04:38:28Z")
U GOT TO MAKE LOVE TO THE JELLY FISH BARE BACK ITS THE ONLY WAY TO EXPIERENCE THE TRUE JELLY FISH LOVE MAKING EXPIERENCE. DUH :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![havocspawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b19c9b/32.png) [@havocspawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/havocspawn)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/8 "2002-03-27T04:42:38Z")
i got to re register whats your screen name ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/9 "2002-03-27T04:42:38Z")
Your first day on a computer, kid? ---
**Author:** ![ringmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9e8a1a/32.png) [@ringmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ringmaster)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/10 "2002-03-27T04:43:05Z")
I think I would get tired of that position after a while. Any thoughts on a different position. “the scubadiva” might be an interesting alternative. 😉 PS - Get on Yahoo! Messenger. ---
**Author:** ![ringmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9e8a1a/32.png) [@ringmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ringmaster)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/11 "2002-03-27T04:44:47Z")
last name + a if you can’t remember how to spell my last name, check your email. ---
**Author:** ![ringmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9e8a1a/32.png) [@ringmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ringmaster)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/12 "2002-03-27T04:51:25Z")
Are you still online? ---
**Author:** ![havocspawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b19c9b/32.png) [@havocspawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/havocspawn)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/13 "2002-03-27T04:53:01Z")
yes im downloading messenger ---
**Author:** ![ringmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9e8a1a/32.png) [@ringmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ringmaster)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/14 "2002-03-27T04:55:08Z")
okiedokie ---
**Author:** ![havocspawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b19c9b/32.png) [@havocspawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/havocspawn)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/15 "2002-03-27T04:58:03Z")
ill im u when im done ---
**Author:** ![Joyfulgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f04885/32.png) [@Joyfulgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joyfulgirl)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/16 "2002-03-27T09:24:34Z")
[Bob Seaworm on jellyfish and mating.](http://www.peter-doerling.de/Englisch/Bob2.htm) And get a room, you two. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/17 "2002-03-27T09:27:58Z")
Have you kids ever heard of something called “e-mail”? Don’t use these boards as a private messaging device, please. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2002, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/18 "2002-03-27T14:24:58Z")
Hey, **Coldie** , what if they’re the same person? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Journeyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/779978/32.png) [@Journeyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Journeyman)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2002, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/19 "2002-03-28T01:54:00Z")
:wally I’ve been waiting since the beginning of my lurking days to find a good use for this guy! Seriously, is a phone that difficult to use? ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2002, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326/20 "2002-03-28T01:59:58Z")
[Repellent](http://www.abc.net.au/news/scitech/2002/03/item20020327120637_1.htm) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-shark-attacks/100326.md?page=2)