# How to avoid those pesky erections. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 30, 2002, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570 "2002-04-30T22:30:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/21 "2002-05-01T15:49:48Z")
Ironically, singing the national anthem (mentally or out loud) works nicely for making it quit standing on guard for thee. ---
**Author:** ![Clever\_Hans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9a28c/32.png) [@Clever\_Hans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clever_Hans)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/22 "2002-05-01T16:14:23Z")
I used to sing the Sesame Street theme song in my head over and over to fight those pesky erections, then I just started getting turned on whenever the show came on. Now I just leave them be. ---
**Author:** ![Delta-9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Delta-9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delta-9)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/23 "2002-05-01T16:23:21Z")
I think **Pesky Erections** would make a damn fine band name. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/24 "2002-05-01T16:28:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MannyL \* > \*\*Why would you have to check yourself or someone else for your grandmother?😃 \*\* Dammit. Someone needs to acknowledge this fine post. Nice one **MannyL**. ---
**Author:** ![Yumanite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b487fb/32.png) [@Yumanite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumanite)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/25 "2002-05-01T16:37:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hyperelastic \* > \*\*grundle - n. the region between the scrotum and the anus in males, and between the posterior vulva junction and the anus in females. see also: taint. \*\* Oohhh . . . same as “choad” then. Or “perineum”. It seem remarkable that such a variety of terms exist for a body part that is not referred to much. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/26 "2002-05-01T19:06:20Z")
Fitting Billy Graham for liederhosen would make me a tad limp. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/27 "2002-05-01T19:34:47Z")
naming all 23 amino acids? reciting all the teams in the premiership? the branches of the dorsal aorta? the last 20 countries to win the world cup? something long and difficult to remember i was going to say long and hard, but thought better of it. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/28 "2002-05-01T19:51:58Z")
Concentrate…you are giving **Janet Reno** a **bikini wax.** That should turn any wood into pulp. 😃 Honey ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Baroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/76d3ee/32.png) [@Billy\_Baroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Baroo)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/29 "2002-05-01T19:54:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Yumanite \* > \*\*Oohhh . . . same as “choad” then. Or “perineum”. \*\* Or “bacon strip.” I was under the impression that “choad” means the same thing as “man jam.” See also: “baby batter.” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/30 "2002-05-01T21:37:32Z")
**Billy** was it you or Billy Rubin that farted right in the handicapped guy’s face on an elevator when he wheeled up unnoticed behind you, causing him to exclaim “Jesus Christ, what the hell do you think your doing”? Man jam eh? Yep, that does it for me. ---
**Author:** ![haardvark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@haardvark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/haardvark)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/31 "2002-05-01T23:03:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Yumanite \* > \*\* > > Oohhh . . . same as “choad” then. Or “perineum”. It seem remarkable that such a variety of terms exist for a body part that is not referred to much. \*\* 'Round these parts, we call it the kzif. Why’s that, you say, young feller? Kzif it weren’t there, it’d just be one big hole! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Iguana\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@Iguana\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iguana_Boy)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2002, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/32 "2002-05-01T23:46:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\ ***Billy** was it you or Billy Rubin that farted right in the handicapped guy’s face on an elevator when he wheeled up unnoticed behind you, causing him to exclaim “Jesus Christ, what the hell do you think your doing”? > \*\* For some reason, I find this post incredibly funny! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/33 "2002-05-02T00:08:43Z")
I am ashamed to be a member\* of a message board that would have a thread like this one. That I can’t contribute to. Regards, Shodan \*hee hee - he said member ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/34 "2002-05-02T02:25:46Z")
I’m afraid I can’t help you with your problem. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/35 "2002-05-02T02:48:41Z")
In the movie _All of Me_, at one point Lily Tomlin is inhabiting Steve Martin’s body, along with Steve. (Trust me on this - it’s a bit complicated to explain.) Steve is trying to get it on with a little hottie, of whom Lily disapproves. Suddenly Steve discovers that, well, that pesky erection has deserted him. Mentally, he yells at Lily: “What are you doing?” Lily replies: “I’m thinking of _very_ old nuns.” ---
**Author:** ![hillbillyboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@hillbillyboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hillbillyboy)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/36 "2002-05-02T03:28:58Z")
Imagine that you are hillbilly queens husband and she sticks her tounge up your ass like a dog. Now thing of the times you kissed her. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/37 "2002-05-02T04:01:20Z")
Like I’m having any success keeping _Dueling Banjos_ outta my head right now. ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Baroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/76d3ee/32.png) [@Billy\_Baroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Baroo)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/38 "2002-05-03T21:26:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > **Billy was it you or Billy Rubin that farted right in the handicapped guy’s face on an elevator when he wheeled up unnoticed behind you, causing him to exclaim “Jesus Christ, what the hell do you think your doing”?** Hahahah! Wasn’t me. One thing I do know: spreading your bare buttcheeks, squatting on someone’s face, and farting, is called a Pressed Ham. I did that to a kid with asthma when I was 8. Is asthma considered a handicap? ---
**Author:** ![Lisa\_Ann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lisa\_Ann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa_Ann)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/39 "2002-05-03T21:52:45Z")
Oh, my. ---
**Author:** ![cheezit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2002, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570/40 "2002-05-03T22:19:11Z")
Instructions on how to get rid of pesky erections. Seems to me it goes like this: **IN…OUT…REPEAT**. Continue until problem has disapated. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-avoid-those-pesky-erections/106570.md?page=3)