# How to be a Liberal **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 22, 2000, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829 "2000-03-22T16:13:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![idiotboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@idiotboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/idiotboy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/21 "2000-03-22T19:51:00Z")
Bucky, Again, I agree. I, personally, am not a political person. I don’t consider myself one or another. In fact, sometimes I find the whole thing as silly as cult religions. I only vote because it my duty as an American. I usually play “eeny-meeny-miny-moe”. But I guess I didn’t think about it before I posted this. Something like this would just get a few laughs on the [MP3.com](http://MP3.com) BB…maybe a reply or two and sink out of sight within a half hour. My judgement is blurred and I once again became the ass I really didn’t mean to be. I’m sorry everybody. :: kicks himself in the ass :: ---
**Author:** ![Bucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Bucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bucky)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/22 "2000-03-22T20:59:00Z")
Well, idiotboy, you can give me a kick in the ass, too, while you’re at it. You aren’t wearing pointy shoes, are you? I’m guilty of a bit of monkey piling on this one. Beers all around! Bucky’s buying! Bucky * * * Oh, well. We can always make more killbots. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/23 "2000-03-22T21:18:00Z")
Wow. One kick in the ass, and Bucky’s whole mood changes. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/24 "2000-03-22T22:28:00Z")
See, I toldja. ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/25 "2000-03-22T22:35:00Z")
I’m far from being a conservative in my politics. My moderate views are about as exciting as Wonder Bread. Still, some of what Idiotboy (dude, find a better handle! On this board its like chumming for sharks :)) says comes pretty close to the truth. C’mon guys, lighten up, I’ve seen the worst in the conservative side of the house in the 80s, culminating with Iran-Contra and the S&L scandals, so I know they’re not looking very lily-white either. The present Bush-Christian Coalition isn’t something I’m overwhelmed with either. Still, the wacko political correctness movement has furnished its own rope to hang itself with. If I can sift through a lot of the libertarianism running rampant in this house, then I’m sure we can fit Idiotboy’s rants into a nice corner room with a view of the playground. To each his own, right? 🙂 * * * _…send lawyers, guns, and money…_ ``` Warren Zevon ``` ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/26 "2000-03-23T00:07:00Z")
Bucky joked that conservatives “must believe”: > [@](#): > > That the way to encourage capital improvements is by encouraging people to sell their outdated equipment. Huh? I don’t get this one. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/27 "2000-03-23T02:59:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by idiotboy: > To be a liberal today, you have to believe: > > That the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding rather then a lack of > morality. **Go to hell.** > [@](#): > > That trial lawyers are selfless heroes, but doctors are overpaid. **Generalizations, both.** > [@](#): > > That global temperatures are affected more by Yuppies driving SUVs than by > cyclical, documented changes in the brilliance of the sun. **Don’t know what you’re talking about.** > [@](#): > > That guns in the hands of the law abiding Americans are more of a threat > than nuclear weapons in the hands of the Red Chinese. **It’s a complicated processs to launch a nuclear weapon. It only takes the pressure of one finger to pull a trigger.** > [@](#): > > That businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity. **Generalizations.** > [@](#): > > That self-esteem is more important than doing anything to earn it. **Who says that?** > [@](#): > > That there was no art before federal funding. **Who says that?** > [@](#): > > That the NRA is bad, because it stands up for certain parts of the > constitution, but the ACLU is good, because it stands up for certain parts > of the Constitution. **You left “outdated” out of the first part.** > [@](#): > > That taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high. **Different contexts.** > [@](#): > > That the most troubling thing you can find in a public school is a child > praying. **You want to be his teacher when that happens?** > [@](#): > > That standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas aren’t. **Mmmmmaybe.** > [@](#): > > That any change in the weather is proof of global warming. **Can you prove it isn’t?** > [@](#): > > That national wealth is determined by what we consume, not by what we produce. **Who says that?** > [@](#): > > That the only wars in which America should become involved, are those in > which our national security is not at risk. **How about our livelihood?** > [@](#): > > That perjury and obstruction of justice are impeachable if a Republican, > like Richard Nixon, commits them, but harmless, private matters if a > Democrat like Bill Clinton commits them. **Different contexts.** > [@](#): > > That we can have a strong military without spending money on it. **We can’t have one without spending money _properly_.** > [@](#): > > That the way to improve public schools is to give more money and power to > people who have misused it in the past. **Don’t know what you’re talking about.** > [@](#): > > That a mother can be trusted to decide whether to terminate the life of her > baby, but cannot be trusted to choose her child’s school. **Who says that?** > [@](#): > > That hunters and fishermen don’t care about nature, but pasty-faced > activists, who rarely leave the Upper West Side of Manhattan, do. **But you also hate “tree-huggers”, who do live naturally, right?** > [@](#): > > That a bureaucrat living in Washington can make better decisions about how > to spend your money than you can. **Liberals don’t think that.** > [@](#): > > That Hillary Clinton is a wonderful example for young women of feminist > independence, even though almost everything she’s gotten in life is a result > of her marriage to Bill Clinton. **I think it’s more likely that he would not have been governor and president without her.** > [@](#): > > That being a movie star makes you qualified to speak out on public policy. **They’re citizens, too, aren’t they?** > [@](#): > > That a handful of religious wackos, living in rural Texas, are more of a > threat to public safety than terrorists who plant bombs in major cities. **Who says terrorists aren’t regarded as a threat?** > [@](#): > > That cigarette and liquor advertising must be banned because it causes kids > to smoke and drink, but we don’t need to worry about adultery, promiscuity, > and violence in television programming because kids aren’t affect by what > happens between the commercials. **I tend to think more that neither is an influence, rather than one but not the other. I also believe parents should be _aware_ of what their kids are watching.** > [@](#): > > This has been a public service announcement. Now you know…and knowing is half the battle * * * “His eyes are as green as a fresh-pickled toad, His hair is as dark as a blackboard, I wish he was mine, he’s really divine, The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.” ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/28 "2000-03-23T03:07:00Z")
Sorry that took up so much room, everyone. I didn’t realized until I’d sent it that I didn’t have to quote _and_ bold. * * * “His eyes are as green as a fresh-pickled toad, His hair is as dark as a blackboard, I wish he was mine, he’s really divine, The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.” ---
**Author:** ![Freedomx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4af34b/32.png) [@Freedomx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freedomx)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/29 "2000-03-23T04:05:00Z")
Liberal Money: [http://216.55.22.11/photo/billfront.jpg](http://216.55.22.11/photo/billfront.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![CalifBoomer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@CalifBoomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalifBoomer)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/30 "2000-03-23T04:43:00Z")
ROFLMAO!!! Thanks Freedom. ---
**Author:** ![sqweels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@sqweels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sqweels)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/31 "2000-03-23T05:18:00Z")
The whole point of liberalism is to have an open mind, a willingness to re-evaluate prevailing assumptions on a periodic basis. There is a difference between liberal and left-wing. For example, political correctness is not liberal, it is a new kind of left-wing conservatism, because it clings to certain prevailing assumptions. ---
**Author:** ![CalifBoomer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@CalifBoomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalifBoomer)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/32 "2000-03-23T05:32:00Z")
Yep. There is no relationship between Roosevelt democrats and the Clinton-type socialists of today. Remember Ronald Reagan had a huge democrat constituency. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/33 "2000-03-23T08:41:00Z")
You know, Freedom, I’m going to have to kill you now for posting a picture so W-I-D-E that I now have to scroll left-and-right to read this thread. (Insert obvious left/right joke here.) ---
**Author:** ![Freedomx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4af34b/32.png) [@Freedomx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freedomx)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/34 "2000-03-23T12:33:00Z")
Sorry about that… I wish I knew a way to shrink, or even preview pics before you posted them. ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/35 "2000-03-23T12:57:00Z")
This is cool Freedom, I can set it to Wallpaper! * * * _…send lawyers, guns, and money…_ ``` Warren Zevon ``` ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/36 "2000-03-23T14:13:00Z")
I had not even read this thread until now, because I thought it was an “instruction manual,” and I thought to myself, “Oh, Jeez, we don’t need this.” Having read it, though, I can say this: **idiotboy** , Welcome. This list rocks! ---
**Author:** ![SingleDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SingleDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SingleDad)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/37 "2000-03-23T16:38:00Z")
I find it interesting to note that it is almost always the conservatives espousing the sort of brainless propaganda as in the OP. They know they can’t make much of a _rational_ case against liberalism, so they have to resort to cheap stunts. The liberals almost never pardody the conservatives because how _can_ you parody guys like Rush Limbaugh, Pat Robertson, Bob Dole, and Ronald Reagan? These guys are walking **self** -parodies. _Mainstream_ conservatism is rank hypocrisy and obvious self-serving b_ **s** _. They’ve been spouting it so long, I think, that people have become inured to it and have stopped confronting it. If y’all have something **intelligent** to say, I’m interested in hearing it. I am even willing to moderate or change my views based on an intelligent and compelling argument. I’m talking to you, Freedom, especially. Your rant against HCI for indulging in propaganda was right on target, but you show yourself as a **hypocrit** and a **b** _s_\*\*\* phony\*\* by supporting and disseminating propaganda yourself. (David and Gaudere: please allow me a little latitude, especially regarding my last paragraph: If you’re going to allow such rank propaganda in GD, even if disingenuously represented as a joke, I think I deserve a spirited response. I’d be just as happy to move this to the Pit.) * * * “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away”. - Phillip K. Dick ---
**Author:** ![SingleDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SingleDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SingleDad)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/38 "2000-03-23T17:28:00Z")
Sigh… I _do_ know how to spell **hypocrite** ---
**Author:** ![Action\_Jackson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@Action\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Action_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/39 "2000-03-23T17:29:00Z")
Just to add a little fuel to the fire, here are some things liberals must believe about firearms. Pepper spray will drop a criminal in thier tracks, however blowing a hole in them with a 44 mag. will only make them mad. Teaching children firearms safety will make them violent, however teaching them safe sex will not cause them to have sex. Firearms around people will turn them into murderers, when the firearms are taken away they will return to normal. Just let you know were I stand, I am a little right of Vlad the Impaler. Boy am I going to get flamed! Sir the pigs are fed and ready to fly. * * * ILLEGITIMUS NON CARBORUNDUM EST ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829/40 "2000-03-23T17:37:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Teaching children firearms safety will make them violent, however teaching them safe sex will not cause them to have sex. Well, I daresay more children have genitals than guns. And without the proper education, they’re likely to use **both** dangerously. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-a-liberal/17829.md?page=3)