# How To Be Good Liberal vs. How To Be Good Conservative **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 8, 2000, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491 "2000-09-08T14:09:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Stefu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/779978/32.png) [@Stefu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stefu)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/1 "2000-09-08T14:09:27Z")
The evergrowing list project can be found at [http://www.landroid.homestead.com/main.html](http://www.landroid.homestead.com/main.html) . By all means, see it, and contribute! ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/2 "2000-09-09T00:18:00Z")
The real difference between liberals and conservatives: Liberals believe in civil rights…except for those civil rights they don’t think you should have. Conservatives believe in the freedom of the individual…as long as the individual isn’t trying to exercise rights they don’t think should exist. Would you prefer to be shot, or would you prefer to be hanged? ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/3 "2000-09-09T00:22:38Z")
Liberals whine about how awful things are. They scream “Won’t somebody think fo the children?!?” and “We’ve got to _ **DO** _ something!!!” at the top of their lungs. They distort already-questionable statistics to fuel their whine-fests. Conservatives fight bitterly against such tactics, _except_ when it comes to abortion, where they use each of these tactics themselves and refuse to see the parallel. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/4 "2000-09-09T00:26:43Z")
And religion and guns and the death penalty and school vouchers and countless other issues. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/5 "2000-09-09T00:29:48Z")
the difference between Liberals and Conservatives? Liberals protect small fuzzy things. Conservatives protect the Big MegaCorp that sells the small furry things, not the thing itself. ---
**Author:** ![needspeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c2a13f/32.png) [@needspeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needspeed)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/6 "2000-09-09T02:14:15Z")
\>\>the difference between Liberals and Conservatives? True Liberals persist in wearing tie-dyed shirts. True Conservatives don’t. (Except Jesse Helms.) * * * Dubya, Gore comparisons at [http://www.angelfire.com/indie/brainingdamage](http://www.angelfire.com/indie/brainingdamage) …come for the fish, stay for the fun ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2000, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/7 "2000-09-09T09:54:31Z")
Liberals make themselves look good by calling Conservatives black-hearted, money-grubbing snobs. Conservatives make themselves look good by calling Conservatives black-hearted, money-grubbing snobs. ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/8 "2000-09-11T16:21:29Z")
Liberals point at conservatives and shout “You’re doing it all wrong! Our way is the right way!” Conservatives point at Liberals and shout “You’re doing it all wrong! Our way is the right way!” Moderates are some where in the middle, buying lots of earplugs. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/9 "2000-09-11T17:01:37Z")
Liberals spend loads of money on “focus groups,” “raising awareness,” “social analysis projects,” and the like. Conservatives just give it all to Big Business. ---
**Author:** ![Pyrrhonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pyrrhonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyrrhonist)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/10 "2000-09-11T17:34:59Z")
Liberals believe in freeing your bodying and regulating your mind. Conservatives believe in freeing your mind and regulating your mind. ---
**Author:** ![Pyrrhonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pyrrhonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyrrhonist)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/11 "2000-09-11T17:36:56Z")
Sorry, didn’t proof read the post. It should read: Liberals believe in freeing your bodying and regulating your mind. Conservatives believe in freeing your mind and regulating your body ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/12 "2000-09-11T20:38:33Z")
As evidenced by reading the above thread, Conservatives distort Liberalism to make it seem like a bad thing; And Liberals can’t seem to get organized enough to effect any real change. ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/13 "2000-09-11T20:51:35Z")
Also, all conservatives secretly meet once a month to rip the still-beating hearts from cute little puppies. They manage to avoid the wrath of the pure-hearted liberals by doing this while the Liberals are busy deflecting rogue, earth-destroying comets by the sheer power of their own self-righteousness. –John ---
**Author:** ![DKW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dkw/32/3118_2.png) [@DKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DKW)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2000, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/14 "2000-09-18T18:27:34Z")
The one I heard (it was a Libertarian party rally shown on C-SPAN) was this: “The Republicans’ greatest fear is that someone is having fun. The Democrats’ greatest fear is that someone is making money.” Of course, considering how bleepin’ centrist the “polar opposites” have become, mabye that’s a bit outdated… ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/15 "2000-09-27T05:03:04Z")
It helps if you understand that a “conservative” in the USA would be a “progressive radical liberal republican” by the standards of world history. This is a liberal, republican political system by definition. The questions are: How far should we go with certain rights and liberties? And how far with the quixotic quest to purge “bad thoughts and practices” from our culture? And which thoughts & practices are bad? I’m an oddball eco-centrist, so my answers don’t agree with either side. They’re all the same to me. ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Malik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/48db29/32.png) [@Joe\_Malik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Malik)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2000, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/16 "2000-09-27T17:02:45Z")
I hold some liberal views and some conservative views. I attempt to apply common sense, intelligent analysis and human decency to my views. I attempt to be a good **human being** rather than a good \. That I call myself a liberal is merely a _convenience_, in that many of my views are held as “liberal” by the standards of my primary culture. P.S. If you dont want intelligent comments, just a complition of liberal/conservative jokes, ask the mods to move this thread to IMHO or MPSIMS. P.P.S. 😃 A conservative is a liberal who’s been mugged. A liberal is a conservative who’s been arrested. ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/17 "2000-09-28T03:31:50Z")
A conservative says “You can’t do that”. A liberal says “You can’t do that without my help”. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/18 "2000-09-28T04:46:21Z")
To throw the old quote in. If you’re young and Republican you’re heartless. If you’re old and a Democrat you’re a fool. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/19 "2000-09-28T04:52:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wolfman \* > \*\*To throw the old quote in. > > If you’re young and Republican you’re heartless. > If you’re old and a Democrat you’re a fool. \*\* No, no no no no. It goes “If you’re not a liberal at 20 you have no heart, and if you’re not a conservative at 40 you have no brain.” I think it was Winston Churchill who said it. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2000, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491/20 "2000-09-28T05:04:29Z")
okay fine, To throw the old misquote in… 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-be-good-liberal-vs-how-to-be-good-conservative/32491.md?page=2)