# How to become a socialite **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 12, 2023, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500 "2023-12-12T18:52:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2023, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500/21 "2023-12-14T02:05:56Z")
> [@digs](#): > > So I’m picturing myself wearing some upscale designer, but who would care at my local sports pub? > It’s not like Lady deVerily of the Hampton deVerilys would pop into Bubb’s Tap for a bratwurst and a Fireball ‘n’ Dr. Pepper… Isn’t that what socialites did in madcap '40s & '50’s comedies? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2023, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500/22 "2023-12-14T02:25:52Z")
Only if she has “the Forgotten Man” on her scavenger hunt list ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2023, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500/23 "2023-12-14T02:26:27Z")
No, no soooo…last year. Ahem! It’s scavenger hunts this season. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2023, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500/24 "2023-12-14T02:27:34Z")
Ninja’ed by mere seconds!!! ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2023, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500/25 "2023-12-14T02:30:17Z")
> [@Stratocaster](#): > > Ooh! I know! I want to be the Voice of a Generation. I’ll be lucky if I can rise to the level of Gadfly. > [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > Only if she has “the Forgotten Man” on her scavenger hunt list Excellent reference. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2023, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500/26 "2023-12-14T02:39:50Z")
I think the term “socialite” is old fashioned. Wealthy families have always sought further wealth and influence. Maybe they still host debutante parties at the Craptown Country Club. But the term seems more relevant to bigger cities, with some mix of influence, the sort of targeted philanthropy where one must be _seen_ to be doing good, fostering local connections and a feigned or occasionally real interest in art and highbrow topics. One suspects they have not yet accomplished much beyond garnering attention if only described in those terms (though this may not be true). Even before the Internet, things were changing. Influence is quantifiable (though perhaps inflated) by webpage views. No one even pretends to much care about the level of interest in art and highbrow topics. Philanthropy has been somewhat replaced by being _seen_ to be on the hospital board or worthy cause. A nepo connection might help. Not to diminish the charms of Maggie Sajak or Paulina Gretzky or Paige Spiranic (sic?) or any of the other highly accomplished people who seem to regularly grace the airwaves or the back pages of the New York Post. Maybe a socialite is just a celebrity or wannabe, with enough charisma to perhaps boost pulses, sales, attention levels or circulation; or has a name people already recognize. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2023, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500/27 "2023-12-14T02:59:02Z")
Truman Capote liked them socialites. Til he wrote thinly veiled tell alls. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2023, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500/28 "2023-12-14T03:16:37Z")
So did Kissinger. He only told the parts that were self-serving. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2023, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500/29 "2023-12-14T03:25:38Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Truman Capote liked them socialites. Til he wrote thinly veiled tell alls. There’s a long history of that. It was a plot point in a P. G. Wodehouse novel. And I remember reading the book _Serial,_ and delighting to the antics of the Marin County social scene. And then hearing that the author (Cyra McFadden? It’s been almost fifty years…) was skewering her friends, who all recognized each other. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2023, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500/30 "2023-12-14T03:46:38Z")
Looks like you gotta dodge unscrupulous authors to be a socialite. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2023, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500/31 "2023-12-14T03:54:40Z")
These days I think they want the attention. By which I mean providing free photos to news outlets willing to print them. But not secretly bombing Cambodia. ---
**Author:** ![EnolaStraight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@EnolaStraight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EnolaStraight)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2023, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500/32 "2023-12-14T04:40:40Z")
Is a socialite the same thing as a Society Dame? I’m getting the image of Joan Crawford at a party with a cigarette and high-ball, pouty-lipped frown, and shoulder pads. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2023, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500/33 "2023-12-14T15:42:13Z")
Depends. Does the party include a crap game with barons or earls? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2023, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500/34 "2023-12-14T16:29:32Z")
Followed by brandy and cigars in the study. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2023, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500/35 "2023-12-14T16:35:42Z")
Funnily enough, Fran ended up becoming something of a socialite herself - she seems to spend most of her time hobnobbing with various New York A- and B-listers, with breaks for the occasional speaking engagement or documentary appearance. ---
**Author:** ![xtenkfarpl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c2a13f/32.png) [@xtenkfarpl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xtenkfarpl)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2023, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500/36 "2023-12-14T19:05:03Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > These same guests would be considered guests of honor but at the higher level these same guests would be a much lower status. We often refer to them as social climbers. As the the quote goes: the Lowells talk only to Cabots, and the Cabots talk only to God… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-a-socialite/994500.md?page=1)