# How to become an extrovert

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-an-extrovert/486849>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [February 21, 2009, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-an-extrovert/486849 "2009-02-21T14:41:08Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![CMiller](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@CMiller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CMiller)\
**Post date:** [February 22, 2009, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-an-extrovert/486849/21 "2009-02-22T22:13:51Z")

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> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#):
>
> Yes. There’s a famous (at least, it’s come up here on the SDMB before) [article from The Atlantic Monthly about introversion](http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch) (alternative link [here](http://www.jonathanrauch.com/jrauch_articles/caring_for_your_introvert/)). Introversion/extroversion, in this sense, may not be something you can change. But it is possible to learn to be less shy or more social.

This is the exact article I came in here to post. It does an excellent job of explaining the mind of an introvert to a largely extroverted world. I enjoy going out to bars and meeting new people, but when I’m done I’m done. Getting over shyness can be done with practice. But I don’t think you can change where you fall on the introvert/extrovert scale. At least I haven’t been able to.

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**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\
**Post date:** [February 23, 2009, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-become-an-extrovert/486849/22 "2009-02-23T04:22:11Z")

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Don’t underestimate small talk.

Not evry conversation you have with someone (Especialy some one new)has to be a mind blowing/mind stimulating experience.

Sure it’s trite; but talk about the weather or talk about the daily grind. Sooner or later you and the person you’re engaging will hit on something with a little more meat on it. Think of it as a stepping ladder. A way to get from point A to point B.

For example: Let’s say you had to go to the store. All you needed was a stinking bottle of milk. And wouldn’t you know it; every frick’n check out line was a mile long. It took you nearly a half hour to get out of there for one lousy bottle of milk.

Now that right there; most shy people wouldn’t think of bringing that up in a conversation. They feel it’s too mundane or to stupid to talk about. Which in reality, it probably is, but it’s also probably going to spark a conversation with someone else about how they met Bill Clinton in a grocery store way back in the 80’s. (or some crazy shit like that.)

Also, keep in mind, that if a conversation doesn’t go anywhere, it’s not always your fault. Some folks just don’t know how to conversate. Either that or they just don’t want to.

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