# How to best americanize my name? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 21, 2007, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013 "2007-09-21T18:09:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2007, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/41 "2007-09-26T01:57:38Z")
Do not choose Kato Kaos. No matter what. That’s a weird-ass conflagration of bad ju-ju there. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2007, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/42 "2007-09-26T03:55:27Z")
Mel Gozu Gibson ---
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2007, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/43 "2007-09-26T04:06:27Z")
I know you’ve settled on a name already, but have you considered the middle name of “Danger”? I’m thinking “Gozu Danger McMayhem”, friends call me Danger McMayhem. Or, I’ll temporarily grant amnesty if you choose to name yourself the name of my future child, Hercules Titan Rockafeller. But you have a ONE WEEK reprieve on the most powerful name ever coined. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2007, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/44 "2007-09-26T04:11:21Z")
Freeman ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2007, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/45 "2007-09-26T04:12:53Z")
Armageddon Kaos (“but you can call me Don”) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2007, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/46 "2007-09-26T09:08:23Z")
[QUOTE=Millit the Frail] Kanye Kaos. Actually, Kanye O’Kaos is pretty rad. [/QUOTE] Ah, finally, I was wondering what was wrong with Cain and its variations… ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2007, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/47 "2007-09-26T09:43:36Z")
If you’re gonna be French, I’ve always been fond of Jacques Shitte. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2007, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/48 "2007-09-26T12:15:20Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] Armageddon Kaos [/QUOTE] You win the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2007, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/49 "2007-09-26T14:06:32Z")
Professor Kaos Kip Kaos Seyton Kaos (sounds like Satan) Senator Kaos ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2007, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/50 "2007-09-26T15:01:25Z")
If you want a last name that people actually use, because I don’t see many people named Kaos running around, what about Lawless? ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2007, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/51 "2007-09-26T16:17:05Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Amazing] If you want a last name that people actually use, because I don’t see many people named Kaos running around, what about Lawless? [/QUOTE] Hmm, lawless and freeman are both excellent alternatives to kaos but lack the raw unfocused energy and the subtle consonnant aftertaste that makes your mouth sparkle and your throat warm up whenever you whisper it (predictably after an eye-opening night of tumbling around with moi in the moist, deserted riverbanks in the Everglades)\* - there is a reason they are deserted, kids, don’t try this at home!\*\* \*\* if you live in the everglades. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2007, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/52 "2007-09-26T16:57:40Z")
Watch it with things like Kayne Kaos, sounds like Kinky when you say it quick. Also, bear in mind that a “fun” name might get you in trouble later in life, either by not getting taken serioulsy or by people misspelling it (or asking you to spell it) every single time. ---
**Author:** ![Millit\_the\_Frail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Millit\_the\_Frail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Millit_the_Frail)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2007, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/53 "2007-09-26T20:58:38Z")
[QUOTE=Sapo] Watch it with things like Kayne Kaos, sounds like Kinky when you say it quick. Also, bear in mind that a “fun” name might get you in trouble later in life, either by not getting taken serioulsy or by people misspelling it (or asking you to spell it) every single time. [/QUOTE] Not Kayne, **Kanye**! Kan-ye. Like Mr. West. I have to admit, though, I have a friend whose last name is Lawless, and that’s pretty badass. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/54 "2007-09-27T05:22:08Z")
> [@Gozu](#): > > O’Kaos would be more accurate but also less international. And pretty silly, too. Count me as one of the “Freeman” votes, in all seriousness. Americans are going to struggle with “Kaos”, and if it’s pronounced like “chaos” they’re going to look at you funny, too. If you’re worried about getting action in the Everglades, “Freeman” will probably be better, especially once your American lady finds out you chose it yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/55 "2007-09-27T12:25:50Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] And pretty silly, too. Count me as one of the “Freeman” votes, in all seriousness. Americans are going to struggle with “Kaos”, and if it’s pronounced like “chaos” they’re going to look at you funny, too. If you’re worried about getting action in the Everglades, “Freeman” will probably be better, especially once your American lady finds out you chose it yourself. [/QUOTE] Yes, they do like’em free so they get to break’em in themselves, like cowboys did with wild mustangs, back in the day when there were more horses than hamsters in the U.S. As for Freeman, i might pick it. The unoriginality of the name is a negative, though. My current last name is pretty much unique, which is nice. One must think of the Google rankings! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/56 "2007-09-27T14:11:39Z")
My middle name is “Chaz”, which comes from French and somehow means “free man.” You could consider that as a last name. Don’t forget, though, generic names mean _you can’t be googled_, which is a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/57 "2007-09-27T19:14:08Z")
Ok, I’m going to repeat it. Raiden McMayhem. Just say it out loud. I ran it by a bunch of college students that I work with and they all thought it would be the coolest fake name around. On second thought, screw you. I’m keeping it. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/58 "2007-09-27T19:35:13Z")
How about Freeman Lawless ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/59 "2007-09-27T19:36:43Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] How about Freeman Lawless [/QUOTE] Sounds like a writer for an abolitionist newspaper in 1840s New England. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013/60 "2007-09-27T19:55:56Z")
**Gozu** , I hope you’re joking. But if you’re serious, then my response to the OP is – You can’t Americanize your name, because there’s no such thing as an “American” name. American names come from every language and ethnicity. You could, however, Anglicize your name. I don’t know whether that’s what you mean. If so, I wish you wouldn’t. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-americanize-my-name/420013.md?page=4)