# How to best be on the lam? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 16, 2019, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549 "2019-11-16T20:51:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MrLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f8ce5/32.png) [@MrLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrLee)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2019, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/1 "2019-11-16T20:51:32Z")
(inspired by finishing a re-watch of Breaking Bad) Let’s say you are wanted nationally for some serious shit - your name and photo are everywhere and there is a weapons-grade manhunt going on with your name on it. You don’t want to get caught and you have to lay low successfully for a few months. You have USD50,000 in cash, but no-one in the world you can rely on and you can assume that all of your other assets have been seized or are a liability. What now? Dont need answer fast 😜 ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2019, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/2 "2019-11-16T21:00:49Z")
AirBnB or cheap motel with a microwave and cable that will take cash and not look at your drivers licence too closely and you buy a shipload of frozen food and oats to last a few weeks… ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2019, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/3 "2019-11-16T21:04:12Z")
This is probably better suited for IMHO, because what would work for one won’t work for another. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2019, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/4 "2019-11-16T21:10:29Z")
This is so broad it’s better suited to IMHO than GQ. Let’s avoid, however, explicit advice on how to break the law (subsequent to the original hypothesized crime). Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2019, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/5 "2019-11-16T22:02:22Z")
> [@Kropotkin](#): > > AirBnB or cheap motel with a microwave and cable that will take cash and not look at your drivers licence too closely and you buy a shipload of frozen food and oats to last a few weeks… That was my first thought as well (the motel). In addition to having food delivered, you’d probably want to change your appearance. So, new clothes, new hair etc. The problem these days is that between everyone having a camera and everyone having facebook, you may get found fairly fast. Even on my city’s town hall facebook page, from time to time someone will post a picture of someone they saw asking if it’s some wanted person. From that, I’m not sure if you’d be better off in a small town away from the big cities, or hiding in plain sight in a major metropolitan area. ---
**Author:** ![KMS94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ad7895/32.png) [@KMS94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KMS94)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2019, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/6 "2019-11-16T22:14:37Z")
We had a man who walked into the woods of Maine in 1986 and survived with no human contact until he was finally caught in 2013. He committed over 1000 burglaries over the years for his camping supplies. Best to be the hardy, outdoorsy type for this method, though. > **[Christopher Thomas Knight](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Thomas_Knight)** > > Christopher Thomas Knight (born December 7, 1965), also known as the North Pond Hermit, is a former recluse and burglar who lived without human contact (with two very brief exceptions) for 27 years between 1986 and 2013 in the North Pond area of Maine's Belgrade Lakes. > During his seclusion, Knight lived within a mile of summer cabins in a crude camp he built in a well-drained woodland obscured within a cluster of glacial erratic boulders. Having entered the woods with almost no possessions, he... ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2019, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/7 "2019-11-16T22:14:53Z")
Also, if you can grow a beard, do so before you go on the lam, then shave it off. You might use collodion to make a vivid fake facial scar to distract people, before or after. Then settle in for 3 months of Gilligan’s Island and frozen pizza…hey, if you can’t do the time… ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2019, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/8 "2019-11-17T00:36:54Z")
You will have to be alone. Any human contact will compromise your cover. A very rural place. Few inhabitants. Don’t stay in one place too long. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2019, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/9 "2019-11-17T01:01:49Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > You will have to be alone. Any human contact will compromise your cover. > A very rural place. Few inhabitants. Don’t stay in one place too long. Even Walt’s hideout in New Hampshire wouldn’t have worked once the snow melted. Eventually somebody would have strolled up to the cabin and noticed it was occupied, or noticed periodic visits by Ed to bring supplies or medicine. ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2019, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/10 "2019-11-17T01:04:21Z")
I would: 1. Avoid repeating the acts that caused my trouble. 2. Alter my appearance. 3. Pack a small valise, with cash carefully stashed. 4. Cautiously make my way south. 5. Walk across the Arizona-Sonora border at Naco. 6. See a guy about phony ID. 7. Catch first-class buses to Xela, Guatemala. 8. Enroll in a live-in Mayan language school. 9. Marry a cute Ixil Or Qiché girl. 10. Avoid repeating the acts that caused my trouble. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2019, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/11 "2019-11-17T01:05:09Z")
I know places back in the mountains not all that far away where even the kinfolk who know my habits would have a hard time tracking me down for several months; Uncle Sugar would need years. Even those not at my level don’t have a bad track record around there. > **[Cops Caught The Alleged Cop-Killer And Survivalist Hiding Out In Pennsylvania...](https://www.businessinsider.com/cops-caught-the-alleged-cop-killer-and-survivalist-hiding-out-in-pennsylvania-mountains-2014-10)** ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2019, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/12 "2019-11-17T01:24:51Z")
(Especially relevant because a movie titled “Richard Jewell” is about to be released) Eric Rudolph, who committed the Olympic Park bombing in 1996 and some abortion clinic bombings around the same time, successfully hid for more than 5 years in the Appalachian forest, although he did have collaborators who helped him out. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2019, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/13 "2019-11-17T01:33:27Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > A very rural place. Are you joking? Rural places are known for nosy neighbors. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2019, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/14 "2019-11-17T01:47:35Z")
> [@PastTense](#): > > Are you joking? Rural places are known for nosy neighbors. I have no neighbors. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2019, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/15 "2019-11-17T01:57:21Z")
> [@PastTense](#): > > Are you joking? Rural places are known for nosy neighbors. This was my thought as well. Newcomers stand out in such environs. Of course if you can retreat far enough into the outback and have the necessary survival skills you can hold out quite awhile. Most people lack such capability. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2019, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/16 "2019-11-17T02:01:18Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > This was my thought as well. Newcomers stand out in such environs. > > Of course if you can retreat far enough into the outback and have the necessary survival skills you can hold out quite awhile. Most people lack such capability. That’s exactly what I meant by very rural. No people. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2019, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/17 "2019-11-17T02:04:04Z")
Bin Laden hid out in a city near a military base. So you don’t need to be rural, as long as you don’t leave the house. The issue is getting a home. You can buy food with cash, but getting an apartment or home isn’t easy w/o documentation and paperwork. Same with getting utilities turned on. Because of that, you may have to buy a used RV with cash and live in that out in the middle of nowhere. You could buy solar panels and batteries for energy. Whenever you go out make sure you wear a beard, moustache and sunglasses. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2019, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/18 "2019-11-17T02:17:02Z")
First rule, Don’t Be Stupid. The feds routinely stash witness protection clients in the multitude of small, well tiny really, some are barely big enough to have a stop sign at the cross roads they happen to drift up around, towns here abouts. It isn’t unusual for said witness protected clients to be found suspiciously dead with the cause mostly being found that they were being Stupid and Gave Themselves Away to the people that wanted them to no longer require the services of the US Marshal’s Service. So if some goons can find a person who is being hidden by the federal government because they were Stupid, think about your odds of doing it on your own. Don’t Be Stupid ---
**Author:** ![leahcim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b4bc9f/32.png) [@leahcim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leahcim)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2019, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/19 "2019-11-17T02:19:38Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Of course if you can retreat far enough into the outback and have the necessary survival skills you can hold out quite awhile. Most people lack such capability. The choice is either to rely on your ability to live off the land and go off into the woods/jungle, or to rely on your ability to blend into a crowd and go to a big city. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2019, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/20 "2019-11-17T03:15:13Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I have no neighbors. My dog has no nose. Sorry – I thought we were starting a) a Monty Python reference b) a bad sign/countersign sequence 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549.md?page=2)