# How to best be on the lam? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 16, 2019, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549 "2019-11-16T20:51:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2019, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/61 "2019-11-20T01:56:15Z")
if you can handle the conditions … I’m told you can live in most of northern Alaska and go years without seeing anyone if you so desire … ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2019, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/62 "2019-11-20T04:18:53Z")
Sounds like a good excuse to convert to Amish or one of the other “Luddite” religions. Would probably be more palatable the pure cult variants. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2019, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/63 "2019-11-20T14:08:53Z")
If a person was smart and had several years to set it up with fake ID and secret stashes of money or even a secret place to hide they could do it. ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2019, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/64 "2019-11-20T14:28:47Z")
I know a guy at Best Quality Vacuum. He could sort me out if I can find another $75k. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2019, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/65 "2019-11-20T21:05:33Z")
> [@RioRico](#): > > Once in the interior, try not to be too stupid. Avoid expat colonies like San Miguel de Allende; gringos there see too much stateside news like your WANTED bulletins. Don’t stay anywhere very long. Avoid dealers. Carry enough cash; cops bribe pretty cheaply. [Daryl Zero] Keep moving every few months. Stay out of Westernized countries for a while. Don’t carry too much cash on your body. Give incorrect information everywhere, and never use your real name.[/Daryl Zero] There are regular stories in the news like this [guy](https://fox4kc.com/2019/11/19/us-marshals-capture-escaped-missouri-inmate-who-was-living-off-the-grid-in-delaware/) who managed to hide out for a whopping 2 1/2 months. But he didn’t have a load of cash to start with, etc. The problem with these stories is they are skewed towards the short-time-on-the-run end of the scale. The long time ones are scarce, if the person is found at all. So the successful strategies are harder to find. ---
**Author:** ![Hickory\_Joe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Hickory\_Joe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hickory_Joe)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2019, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/66 "2019-11-20T22:21:39Z")
> [@RioRico](#): > > I would: > > 1. Avoid repeating the acts that caused my trouble. > 2. Alter my appearance. > 3. Pack a small valise, with cash carefully stashed. > 4. Cautiously make my way south. > 5. Walk across the Arizona-Sonora border at Naco. > 6. See a guy about phony ID. > 7. Catch first-class buses to Xela, Guatemala. > 8. Enroll in a live-in Mayan language school. > 9. Marry a cute Ixil Or Qiché girl. > 10. Avoid repeating the acts that caused my trouble. Good - but I think you can do all of that in downtown Los Angeles - except for #5. lol ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2019, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/67 "2019-11-20T23:01:33Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Sounds like a good excuse to convert to Amish or one of the other “Luddite” religions. Would probably be more palatable the pure cult variants. Amish might be tricky … I have an in and I really wouldn’t be particularly welcome [My mom was born Amish and when she left her family cut all contact entirely.] Not saying it would be totally impossible for me at least, but they would be hella suspicious that suddenly at 58 I had a burning desire to convert to a harsher version of what I was more or less raised with … I _might_ be able to bring along a husband … ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2019, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/68 "2019-11-20T23:17:01Z")
I think it would be near impossible without some subgroup that could hide and protect you. So for example you could live in a major city and an employer would give you a place to stay, food, and a job doing something like being a night office cleaner. ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2019, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/69 "2019-11-21T04:00:49Z")
> [@Hickory\_Joe](#): > > Good - but I think you can do all of that in downtown Los Angeles - except for #5. lol Too many surveillance cams in L.A. and not enough Mayan language schools. 😛 I know of ways to share rides from El Norte to Central America but I suggested buses from the US-MX border south because private vehicles face more intensive searches. I suggested crossing at Naco (Nogales and Douglas work too) because they’re easier strolls than walking over a Rio Grande bridge and facing inspection on the other side. One or more US $20 bills will solve many problems, a ways below the border. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2019, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/70 "2019-11-21T05:25:45Z")
> [@Hickory\_Joe](#): > > Good - but I think you can do all of that in downtown Los Angeles - except for #5. lol [Whitey Bulger](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whitey_Bulger) managed to stay on the lam for 16 years (12 of them on the FBI’s Most Wanted List), finally being apprehended in Santa Monica, California. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2019, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/71 "2019-11-21T06:22:30Z")
the OP seems a little weird because of the time limit: why only 3 months? If you’re a serious criminal, I’d think that the FBI would keep looking for you longer than that. But it occurs to me that for 3 months , an easy way to hide would be to hike the Appalachian Trail. Grow a beard, let your hair get scruffy, look unkempt enough to change your appearance. Then just act like any other hiker. You could occasionally walk into small towns to buy supplies, and nobody would be surprised. A dirty, scruffy guy, but with a high quality backpack in an area full of backpackers, isn’t suspicious. (unlike a dirty scruffy guy in a city.) ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2019, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/72 "2019-11-21T09:59:25Z")
How hard is it to buy an RV for cash and then hit the road? I’ve NEVER been asked for id when driving unless I’ve broken the law. Then you only need change your appearance enough to not be recognised. Good wig and a fat suit? Grow a beard. Gas an groceries can be cash. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2019, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/73 "2019-11-21T18:21:17Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > How hard is it to buy an RV for cash and then hit the road? > I’ve NEVER been asked for id when driving unless I’ve broken the law. But a motor vehicle has to be registered and licensed, and publicly display evidence of that (a license tag). You’d have to find someone who is willing to sell you their RV for cash _and_ is also willing to skip the whole “legally transfer ownership of (and liability for) said RV from them to you”–in other words, just let you drive around pretending to be them, which is illegal and (from their P.O.V.) just generally unwise. (What if you crash “their” RV into a busload full of orphans or something? They’d definitely have some explaining to do.) And once the RV has been legally transferred from the previous owner to Mr. I.M. Fugitive, then cops won’t need to pull the vehicle over and demand to see someone’s driver’s license–all they have to do is “run the plates” (which nowadays is [often done automatically, by computer](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Automatic_number-plate_recognition))–and then some kind of notice pops up on the laptop in Officer Friendly’s police car, telling him to pull over that RV double-quick, as it’s registered to the notorious I.M. Fugitive, who is the subject of all sorts of BOLO notices. I guess you could say that you have already obtained a shiny new identity, and the RV will therefore be registered to Mr. I.M. Not-a-Fugitive. But the OP merely specifies that you have “USD50,000 in cash” but also that there’s “no-one in the world you can rely on”. Personally I haven’t the foggiest idea of how to turn $50,000 into a fake ID that would pass any kind of close inspection–or, actually, any kind of fake ID at all. (Also, now I’m thinking of the Russell Crowe/Elizabeth Banks movie [_The Next Three Days_](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Next_Three_Days), which was a pretty good flick, and does show Crowe’s character having to overcome all sorts of difficulties–including specifically having trouble getting a fake ID–but I seriously doubt the guy would have been able to pull it off in real life.) ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2019, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/74 "2019-11-21T19:23:58Z")
Join the homeless community in Los Angeles. You won’t even need a disguise, just walk around with a blanket covering you-including your head. You’ll fit right in and you don’t even really need money. The “Lunches of Love” crew will pull up their cars to your homeless encampment every day and hand out lunch bags full of food, along with bags of toiletries. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2019, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/75 "2019-11-21T21:12:32Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > How hard is it to buy an RV for cash and then hit the road? > I’ve NEVER been asked for id when driving unless I’ve broken the law. > Then you only need change your appearance enough to not be recognised. > Good wig and a fat suit? Grow a beard. > Gas an groceries can be cash. Did you see the movie “[The Accountant](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Accountant_(2016_film))”? Thats exactly what the main character did. Sort of. What he did was have a trailer prepared stocked with food, weapons, money, plus several other items of value that wouldnt be traced but he could easily sell like gold bars and interestingly enough - comic books (collector ones that could easily fetch $100,000). And of course he had alternate ID’s and documents ready to go. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/76 "2019-11-22T00:49:16Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Amish might be tricky … I have an in and I really wouldn’t be particularly welcome [My mom was born Amish and when she left her family cut all contact entirely.] > > Not saying it would be totally impossible for me at least, but they would be hella suspicious that suddenly at 58 I had a burning desire to convert to a harsher version of what I was more or less raised with … I _might_ be able to bring along a husband … I am going to murder the Low German but -------- if I (or some other Doper) were to approach them as an “abfallung Englisher” (fallen-away Englishman) we could find more of a welcome than you as a slightly removed “Abfallung Deutscher”. I’ve worked with some OOD and am basically a known factor and the average Doper would be unknown but ---- these days they are more open to converts/possible converts. Most of the OODs have really changed quite a bit in terms of their relationship with the world over the last 25 years. And if we’re talking Mennonite — they actually have an Evangelical wing of their faith fairly near me. Chances are good for any of us there; they want to reach out to us. Now the Swartzentruber ------- they aren’t even that open to other Amish let alone us evil heathens. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/77 "2019-11-22T01:28:52Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Not so, as it is not a crime to be homeless. The shelter I was in had people who would hang around outside the place, come in for the free, walk in dinners, and sleep on the benches placed around the river near the shelter. When the police became aware of the situation (not hard to do, considering the shelter was next door to the state prison), they persuaded the cit to put up more benches. > > Some people just want to stay on the streets, and it is not a crime. Very true, but if you go to a shelter, however, ICE agents have been known to stake them out and request to see paperwork from people leaving in the morning - it happened around here a year or so back (DC suburb). [Here’s an interesting article](https://www.wired.com/2009/11/ff-vanish2/) about a writer who tried to vanish. Admittedly, he had issued a challenge for people to find him. Now, a “national manhunt” criminal would not likely be targeted as thoroughly as the author here was, and of course in this case the author was trying to keep tabs on what was being said about him because of the nature of the game - but it does a good job of illustrating how tough it is to truly disappear. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/78 "2019-11-22T02:18:25Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > I am going to murder the Low German but -------- if I (or some other Doper) were to approach them as an “abfallung Englisher” (fallen-away Englishman) we could find more of a welcome than you as a slightly removed “Abfallung Deutscher”. I’ve worked with some OOD and am basically a known factor and the average Doper would be unknown but ---- these days they are more open to converts/possible converts. Most of the OODs have really changed quite a bit in terms of their relationship with the world over the last 25 years. > > And if we’re talking Mennonite — they actually have an Evangelical wing of their faith fairly near me. Chances are good for any of us there; they want to reach out to us. Now the Swartzentruber ------- they aren’t even that open to other Amish let alone us evil heathens. I’ll brush up my plautdietsch if I need to run =) At least I know all the old family recipes, and can cut spaetzel like a pro =) ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/79 "2019-11-22T03:14:32Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > But a motor vehicle has to be registered and licensed, and publicly display evidence of that (a license tag). You’d have to find someone who is willing to sell you their RV for cash _and_ is also willing to skip the whole “legally transfer ownership of (and liability for) said RV from them to you”–in other words, just let you drive around pretending to be them, which is illegal and (from their P.O.V.) just generally unwise. (What if you crash “their” RV into a busload full of orphans or something? They’d definitely have some explaining to do.) > > And once the RV has been legally transferred from the previous owner to Mr. I.M. Fugitive, then cops won’t need to pull the vehicle over and demand to see someone’s driver’s license–all they have to do is “run the plates” (which nowadays is [often done automatically, by computer](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Automatic_number-plate_recognition))–and then some kind of notice pops up on the laptop in Officer Friendly’s police car, telling him to pull over that RV double-quick, as it’s registered to the notorious I.M. Fugitive, who is the subject of all sorts of BOLO notices. > > I guess you could say that you have already obtained a shiny new identity, and the RV will therefore be registered to Mr. I.M. Not-a-Fugitive. But the OP merely specifies that you have “USD50,000 in cash” but also that there’s “no-one in the world you can rely on”. Personally I haven’t the foggiest idea of how to turn $50,000 into a fake ID that would pass any kind of close inspection–or, actually, any kind of fake ID at all. (Also, now I’m thinking of the Russell Crowe/Elizabeth Banks movie [_The Next Three Days_](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Next_Three_Days), which was a pretty good flick, and does show Crowe’s character having to overcome all sorts of difficulties–including specifically having trouble getting a fake ID–but I seriously doubt the guy would have been able to pull it off in real life.) In my neck of the woods, ownership is two parts and can be done online 1. I’ve sold a car - done by the seller CAN be done without a valid license, 2. I’ve bought a car - needs a valid license number to do online - BUT this is not verified anywhere - the new registration papers are sent to an address the buyer self enters If any of this is faked - it would take way longer than 2 months to get sorted. Any by the by - I was in an accident two weeks ago, I just checked on the car that hit me, he hasn’t had an inspection in the last 6 years (is supposed to be annual) - yet he was still on the road ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2019, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/80 "2019-11-22T18:41:05Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > At least I know all the old family recipes, and can cut spaetzel like a pro =) Heck, depending on how you handle a churn I may hide you. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549.md?page=5)