# How to best be on the lam?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [November 16, 2019, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549 "2019-11-16T20:51:32Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\
**Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/81 "2019-11-23T17:44:29Z")

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As we learned in _Once Upon a Time in America_, you can hide out from your earlier gangster days by becoming the US Secretary of Commerce, and no one will ever recognize you.

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**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\
**Post date:** [November 23, 2019, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/82 "2019-11-23T23:56:35Z")

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Much would depend on whether you planned in advance or if it was a sudden emergency. I suspect that if you were happily sitting in your castle stroking your white cat when the feds came knocking, you would have little chance of making it. On the other hand, if you had a ready-made spare identity (or three) and a shack where you could hole up without raising neighbour’s suspicions, I guess you could keep it going for a long time.

Changing your appearance is not that hard; a few evening classes om stage makeup would probably be sufficient. You should avoid any places like sporting events where facial recognition might be operating, and generally keep a low profile.

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**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\
**Post date:** [November 24, 2019, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/83 "2019-11-24T02:24:05Z")

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It really boils down to a few things:

1. Dump your damn cell phone and anything else that connects to the Cellular servers or Internet.
2. Get down to the AZ/Mexico border
3. Once in Mexico, use the 50G to get yourself to South America and restart your life.

The way to survive on the lam is to abandon your current life completely. Just go and don’t look back.

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**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\
**Post date:** [November 24, 2019, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-best-be-on-the-lam/843549/84 "2019-11-24T03:31:50Z")

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According to Grampa Simpson, change your name to **Mint Jelly**.

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