# How to, by the numbers **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [April 18, 2008, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891 "2008-04-18T14:35:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/1 "2008-04-18T14:35:01Z")
Not sure whether this will work or not, but let’s try it: The idea is that you explain how to do something in ten words or less. The first person sets a challenge; the next person says how to do it in ten words or less and then sets another challenge. For instance: How to change a tire (in ten words or less): Jack up axle; remove flat; mount doughnut; tighten lug nuts. How to summon a ghost: Darken room; light candle; play spooky music; use ouija board. The “how to” task can be simple or complicated; specific or general; practical or silly; etc. First challenge: In ten words or less, explain how to run for president. ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/2 "2008-04-18T14:40:26Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] First challenge: In ten words or less, explain how to run for president. [/QUOTE] Raise money; get on ballots; speak everywhere; slam opponents; pander ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/3 "2008-04-18T14:43:02Z")
Cool! Now set a challenge for the next person. ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/4 "2008-04-18T15:02:24Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] Cool! Now set a challenge for the next person. [/QUOTE] That’s the hard part - thinking up the challenge. How about “How to string a guitar” ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/5 "2008-04-18T16:05:53Z")
I have no idea! Take guitar to music store; pay them to do it. How to name a puppy. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/6 "2008-04-18T16:32:45Z")
Play with puppy, determine personality, say “Your name is \”. How do you paint a room? ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/7 "2008-04-18T16:35:01Z")
Get paint. Cover Furnature. Put paint on walls with brushes. How to get a girlfriend 😃 ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/8 "2008-04-18T16:39:41Z")
[QUOTE=Oredigger77] How to get a girlfriend 😃 [/QUOTE] Check orientation; shower, shave, spray on Axe; deliver clever line. How to get a boyfriend when you’re gay. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2008, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/9 "2008-04-19T01:02:58Z")
Hm, apparently I’m not the only one who doesn’t have a clue. I’ll take a stab at it though: Check orientation; shower, shave, skip the Axe; deliver clever line. FTR, I’d be good with the straight guys skipping the Axe as well. How do you make an omelet? ---
**Author:** ![HongKongFooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c4cdca/32.png) [@HongKongFooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HongKongFooey)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2008, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/10 "2008-04-19T01:09:20Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] How do you make an omelet? [/QUOTE] Heat pan, beat eggs, cook, fold, slide, and serve. How do you write a poem? ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2008, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/11 "2008-04-19T01:33:29Z")
[QUOTE=HongKongFooey] How do you write a poem? [/QUOTE] Write a line; write another line; rhyme, (or don’t) How do you grow a vegetable garden? ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2008, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/12 "2008-04-19T01:38:32Z")
[QUOTE=HongKongFooey] Heat pan, beat eggs, cook, fold, slide, and serve. How do you write a poem? [/QUOTE] Theorize, analyze, agonize, verbalize, visualize, summariize, symbolize, thesaurize, epitomize, publicize. Since I was late: [QUOTE=Suburban Plankton] How do you grow a vegetable garden? [/QUOTE] Check Poor Richard, clear, plough, fertilize, sow, weed, water, reap. How do you change a lightbuld in Poland. [hijack] I was in the NYC subway today and about 15 guys working on the innards of a lighted wall ad display. So, of course, I quipped, “Changing a lightbulb, huh?” They got it.[/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2008, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/13 "2008-04-19T02:17:12Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] How do you change a lightbuld in Poland. [/QUOTE] (Historical description) Alert KGB. Accuse traitor. Evade counter accusations. Change lighting specs. How does one become a teacher? ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2008, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/14 "2008-04-19T02:32:41Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] How does one become a teacher? [/QUOTE] Get a degree, pass capacity test, beg for class material. \* How do you deal with an angry customer? - I just did 🆒 , part time, but I’m not leaving yet my regular IT job, the last one pays the bills and allows me to get class material. ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2008, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/15 "2008-04-19T02:38:23Z")
[QUOTE=GIGObuster] How do you deal with an angry customer? [/QUOTE] Apologize profusely, make amends, remember that customers are whiny idiots. How do you rob a bank? ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2008, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/16 "2008-04-19T03:42:50Z")
Get ski mask, gloves, driver, write note, don’t hurt anyone. How do you change bad luck? ---
**Author:** ![buttons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8edcca/32.png) [@buttons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttons)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2008, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/17 "2008-04-19T03:53:08Z")
[QUOTE=brujaja] Get ski mask, gloves, driver, write note, don’t hurt anyone. How do you change bad luck? [/QUOTE] Hunt and find a four leaf clover. How do you tie your shoelaces? ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2008, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/18 "2008-04-19T04:08:19Z")
The rabbit chases the fox over, under, around and through. How stop a cop from giving you a ticket? ---
**Author:** ![Omi\_no\_Kami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Omi\_no\_Kami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omi_no_Kami)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2008, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/19 "2008-04-19T04:37:02Z")
[QUOTE=Oredigger77] How stop a cop from giving you a ticket? [/QUOTE] Raise money; get on ballots; speak everywhere; become the president. 😉 How to keep someone busy? ---
**Author:** ![HongKongFooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c4cdca/32.png) [@HongKongFooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HongKongFooey)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2008, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/20 "2008-04-19T04:39:56Z")
[QUOTE=Omi no Kami] How to keep someone busy? [/QUOTE] Start a thread, call it “How to, by the numbers” How do you become a movie star? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891.md?page=2)