# How to, by the numbers **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [April 18, 2008, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891 "2008-04-18T14:35:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2008, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/221 "2008-05-03T01:19:14Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] How do you decide where to go for vacation? [/QUOTE] Check bank account, consider weather conditions, think place unvisited before. How do you describe heaven to a sports nut? (stolen from an ad) ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2008, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/222 "2008-05-03T03:07:20Z")
Trophies, beer, naked nympho cheerleaders, viagra unneccessary and _you win_! How do you learn to exude charm? ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2008, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/223 "2008-05-03T03:20:52Z")
Go to cyclotron. Collect proper quarks. Swallow, and let evaporate. How do you make a naked mole rat cute? ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2008, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/224 "2008-05-03T03:29:25Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] How do you make a naked mole rat cute? [/QUOTE] Drink a lot of tequila. Like, a lot. How do you drink enough tequila to find a naked mole rat cute without succumbing to alcohol poisoning? ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2008, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/225 "2008-05-03T04:32:37Z")
Swallow the worm. That’ll teach ya. 😃 How do you play a DVD-RW disc when all you have is a DVD+RW drive? (OtakuLoki: Tried that. Wound up Strange instead.) ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2008, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/226 "2008-05-03T08:38:11Z")
Hit DVR-RW with a hammer untill it becomes a DVR+RW. How do you keep a .300 batting average with women? And yes I did just get home from the bar an I went 1 for 3 and the two nos were with their boyfriends but one of them hooked me up with a friend. ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2008, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/227 "2008-05-03T16:19:42Z")
Only count the interested ones. Go out with 1/3 of them. (Or: Marry her. Your average will freeze at .300.) How do you shoehorn yourself away from the Dope on a sunny saturday? ---
**Author:** ![HongKongFooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c4cdca/32.png) [@HongKongFooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HongKongFooey)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/228 "2008-05-04T00:16:36Z")
[QUOTE=brujaja] How do you shoehorn yourself away from the Dope on a sunny saturday? [/QUOTE] Wait for Windows to start it’s daily update. How do you make the perfect Martini? ---
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2008, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/229 "2008-05-04T02:49:09Z")
[QUOTE=HongKongFooey] How do you make the perfect Martini? [/QUOTE] “Glance at vermouth bottle briefly while pouring the juniper distillate.” That answer was reputably paraphrased from Winston Churchill. How do I verify he really wrote or said that? ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2008, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/230 "2008-05-05T13:21:34Z")
[QUOTE=Ponderoid] That answer was reputably paraphrased from Winston Churchill. How do I verify he really wrote or said that? [/QUOTE] Invent time machine. Travel back in time. Ask Winston Churchill. How do you make your dog stop barking at dawn? ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2008, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/231 "2008-05-05T21:31:29Z")
Get a tranq gun, shot dog so day is night. How do you stop your legs from hurting after doing squats. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2008, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/232 "2008-05-05T21:54:19Z")
[QUOTE=Oredigger77] How do you stop your legs from hurting after doing squats. [/QUOTE] Read up on periworkout nutrition, and practice what they preach. (Seriously, that’s the term to search on. My personal recommendation is Biotest’s Surge, which can cut your recovery times by a significant amount.) How do you come up with a next question when you’re just not feeling terribly creative? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2008, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/233 "2008-05-05T22:40:26Z")
Go meta. How do you ace a job interview? ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/234 "2008-05-06T00:38:50Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] How do you ace a job interview? [/QUOTE] Interview someone they just interviewed. Find out what they asked. How do you determine what they originally used Stonehenge for? ---
**Author:** ![HongKongFooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c4cdca/32.png) [@HongKongFooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HongKongFooey)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/235 "2008-05-06T01:18:21Z")
[QUOTE=InvisibleWombat] How do you determine what they originally used Stonehenge for? [/QUOTE] Investigate, calculate, interpolate, extrapolate, speculate, or use **InvisibleWombat** ’s time machine How do you play Botticelli? ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/236 "2008-05-06T04:53:04Z")
Google-fu. And, type fast!!! How do you best show a cat that you love him? ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/237 "2008-05-06T05:21:07Z")
[QUOTE=brujaja] How do you best show a cat that you love him? [/QUOTE] Food, attention, food, toys, food, a comfy sleeping place, food. How do you show a wolverine that you love him? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/238 "2008-05-06T12:50:57Z")
Lots of personal space. How do you flirt with a Doper? ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/239 "2008-05-06T20:15:37Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] How do you flirt with a Doper? [/QUOTE] Check orientation. Repeatedly use macro that says “How _you_ doin’?” How do you find your soulmate? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2008, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/240 "2008-05-06T20:49:31Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] How do you find your soulmate? [/QUOTE] Date everyone. How do you bake a cake? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891.md?page=13)